Taking a motorcycle to dinner with her parents

You can unfriend me, unfollow me, and unlike me; but you cannot unlick my butthole

9/21/2022 10:57:29 AM

Not very long ago, I owned a motorcycle as my sole mode of transportation. It was used, and had a loose gas cap which the seller had advised to seal with Vaseline anytime it was going to rain, even if I covered the bike with a tarp.

I had been dating a girl, and it was finally time to meet the parents. It was dinner at their house. Rain was in the forecast, so I brought the tub of Vaseline in my jacket pocket. When I got to her house, she met me at the door and warned me, "My family had a big fight about whose turn it is to do the dishes. No one is talking to each other, and whoever speaks first has to do the dishes." Fucking great. Awkward silence instead of awkward dinner conversation.

Dinner was weird, since the parents were so pissed and my GF was in the dumps that this is how I would meet them. I had a brilliant idea to cheer her up: I picked her up, threw her on the table, and fucked her right there in front of her parents. It worked! My GF was happy, the mother was shocked, and the father was even angrier, but still no one spoke. After continuing with dinner in silence, and her parents still shocked and angry, I wondered what else I could get away with. This time I turned the mother over the table and fucked her silly. Now the mother was happy, but the father was furious, and everyone was still refusing to speak for fear of being saddled with several days' worth of dishes. But then I heard the rumble of thunder close to the house. I jumped up and pulled the tub of Vaseline from my jacket pocket, when the father pushed his chair back from the table and said, "All right! All right! I'll do the fucking dishes!"