My fav has been on and off with him since high school. From what she tells me, he's not straight up cruel, just extremely opinionated, self-absorbed, and impulsive. They have never lived together. She's a generous person generally, but she doesn't let him mooch off her. He bounces between his parents and grandparents, having much drama with both. But apparently not enough drama to motivate him to get/keep a job, so he could avoid living with them. She knows the logical thing would be to ditch him once and for all. But, as most us of do sometimes, she having a hard time deciding between what her heart and her head are telling her. He's a constant irritant to her, sometimes to the extreme. But she also has many good memories with him (typically involving great sex). He sometimes gets nasty when he's jealous of her, but he's never judgmental about anyone's kinks.
If you're thinking two peas in a pod, it's not that simple. Damning with faint praise, but she's a good saver compared to most people. If it weren't for her nasty pimpish baby daddy ex (different guyt), her net worth would be in the mid to high 5 figures. (She's still in her twenties.) Her one big splurge is (horkingly much) weed. But she had too much childhood trauma for the emotional wounds to ever fully heal. She tried the prescription mood alterers she was offered, and has simply found that THC works better than them for her. (She has a med card.)
This is asking for a minor miracle, but can anyone recommend a practical first step that someone like her BF could take to start turning into a functional adult? By practical, I mean not a recommendation I could get from Nancy Reagan if she weren't dead. Given the labor shortage, are there employers who have developed programs for people like these? To help them be productive employees, in spite of their flaws?
One more thought that I use to bum my day: how greasy is it when you get kinda mentor-ish with your favs like this? If you were both naughty and mentor-ish with a woman at work that would be a possible law suit.
Bf has to want to change. I'm dealing with a friend (male) who's just like this, self absorbed, manipulative, losing friends left and right, and thinks everyone else is the problem.
I know it sounds glib to tell her to leave him, but trying to change someone who doesn't want to change is a fool's errand.