Yet another thread about the millstone-around-the-neck boyfriend
ilbbaicnl
Keep it in my pants when I do OTC. If I were a stripper it would stand for I like big bucks and I can not lie.
My fav has been on and off with him since high school. From what she tells me, he's not straight up cruel, just extremely opinionated, self-absorbed, and impulsive. They have never lived together. She's a generous person generally, but she doesn't let him mooch off her. He bounces between his parents and grandparents, having much drama with both. But apparently not enough drama to motivate him to get/keep a job, so he could avoid living with them. She knows the logical thing would be to ditch him once and for all. But, as most us of do sometimes, she having a hard time deciding between what her heart and her head are telling her. He's a constant irritant to her, sometimes to the extreme. But she also has many good memories with him (typically involving great sex). He sometimes gets nasty when he's jealous of her, but he's never judgmental about anyone's kinks.
If you're thinking two peas in a pod, it's not that simple. Damning with faint praise, but she's a good saver compared to most people. If it weren't for her nasty pimpish baby daddy ex (different guyt), her net worth would be in the mid to high 5 figures. (She's still in her twenties.) Her one big splurge is (horkingly much) weed. But she had too much childhood trauma for the emotional wounds to ever fully heal. She tried the prescription mood alterers she was offered, and has simply found that THC works better than them for her. (She has a med card.)
This is asking for a minor miracle, but can anyone recommend a practical first step that someone like her BF could take to start turning into a functional adult? By practical, I mean not a recommendation I could get from Nancy Reagan if she weren't dead. Given the labor shortage, are there employers who have developed programs for people like these? To help them be productive employees, in spite of their flaws?
One more thought that I use to bum my day: how greasy is it when you get kinda mentor-ish with your favs like this? If you were both naughty and mentor-ish with a woman at work that would be a possible law suit.
If you're thinking two peas in a pod, it's not that simple. Damning with faint praise, but she's a good saver compared to most people. If it weren't for her nasty pimpish baby daddy ex (different guyt), her net worth would be in the mid to high 5 figures. (She's still in her twenties.) Her one big splurge is (horkingly much) weed. But she had too much childhood trauma for the emotional wounds to ever fully heal. She tried the prescription mood alterers she was offered, and has simply found that THC works better than them for her. (She has a med card.)
This is asking for a minor miracle, but can anyone recommend a practical first step that someone like her BF could take to start turning into a functional adult? By practical, I mean not a recommendation I could get from Nancy Reagan if she weren't dead. Given the labor shortage, are there employers who have developed programs for people like these? To help them be productive employees, in spite of their flaws?
One more thought that I use to bum my day: how greasy is it when you get kinda mentor-ish with your favs like this? If you were both naughty and mentor-ish with a woman at work that would be a possible law suit.
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24 comments
I know it sounds glib to tell her to leave him, but trying to change someone who doesn't want to change is a fool's errand.
Can he sell weed? A lb is as cheap as $650 and he can easily make a profit off it. It's a harmless hustle.
From what she's told me, sounds like his family is reaping what they sowed with his problems. He's not living totally for free, they rely on him to run various errands, to do various chores.
Since this thread is like a Dr. Phil episode, it raises the question, where is DoctorPhil? He disappeared abaout 3 months ago.
It sounds like the girl is smart and is doing as well as can be expected. Its a difficult relationship since good sex is the bright spot holding it together.
One thing that’s good is he’s not her baby daddy. That is one thing that she should make sure doesn’t happen! She’s already got one baby daddy to deal with, and an unemployed guy who thinks he’s superior to others, but who still mooches off his parents and grandparents, is not suited to be a father.
Talking about Dr Phil - there’s another TV show that I thought of - Intervention. I don’t think they do them for guys who won’t grow up and are simply economic parasites, but that’s what he needs!
Calling him a loser is a self defense mechanism coz his position in her life triggers some or you.
He just needs to be forced to have some responsibilities. And to be allowed to fail and come up with solutions. Only help him when he hits rock bottom. He won't learn otherwise
The scenario you’re referring to, she doesnt prefer him to other men in her life. The richer guys will pay her for sexual encounters, but the boyfriend is always there for her no matter what and loyal to her. Its not that she sees more in him than other men, its that hes giving her an insane amount of unconditional loyalty and love to the point he’s tolerating her being an escort or stripper. Usually this type of guy is going to be unemployed or working a lower paying job, so he’s there for the free sex and free money, basically leeching off her.
There are exceptions, but theyre usually with the high level escorts and pornstar boyfriends. These guys might be making a 6 figure income, but their girl is able to charge $1000+ an hour for sex, so the money involved is just way too much for these guys to resist the temptation. The typical $300 or less an hour escort or stripper is more likely to have the unemployed boyfriend. In these cases it’s likely the girl has more respect for her clients than her own man. Her boyfriend isn’t actually getting free sex or free money off her. He’s giving insane loyalty, basically being her slave in exchange for it.
You’re totally mistaken thinking people are jealous of the boyfriend. He’s not getting her for free just because he’s not giving her money for sex. It is a sad state to be in for many people. Most guys wouldn’t want their girl sleeping around with other men.
That series of flakey jobs, that is how life is for a lot of people now. Never having gotten the chance to develop skills and get a real education and build a career. It is our economy and our backward attitudes.
You can try to step into the middle of it for your ATF.
The organization I am building will only work with people who though they may look like that, they actually want an intense education and to live at a higher level of consciousness.
SJG
https://wikidiff.com/pimp/ponce
SJG
Music Mode Edgy, School of Rock
https://youtu.be/eQp1RJtCn2U?t=3597
She sounds like a psychologically weak person, between the emotional slot machine and the love of conspiracy theories.
You aren't going to fix that shit.
Over the years, I've learned that guys like that never change. He will be a whiny and lazy under-achiever probably for his entire life. I've also learned that silly girls like her need to learn that lesson for themselves - they won't listen to it from anyone else.
So get whatever enjoyment you can from her, but trying to get involved in her inevitably poor decision-making is both pointless and potentially counter-productive to your short-term goals.
I had an offer from a stripper once to come over to where I live and just do lap dances. I didn't have much interest because, while I like lap dances, I also like sitting and relaxing in the strip club and doing some drinking and people watching before I buy lap dances.
Lately, though, this is becoming less the case. With the worsening economy, the girls are making less money and this is causing them to be increasingly aggressive. The high-pressure sales pitches are unpleasant to me. I think this is going to backfire on them. Sitting in the strip club and relaxing is part of the experience men enjoy and if you ruin it for them they are less likely to come in.
To each his own of course. I'll never criticize how another grown man chooses to spend his cash. But given the fact that it is I almost never have to explain to a girl what I want from her at the hotel - it is normally just assumed - I'm guessing that this isn't terribly common or something a girl can pin any hopes on finding.