Do we really care what they (strippers) think about us?

No more so than any other contractor I hire to provide a service.

:)

All I care about is how well strippers pretend they like squirming on my lap. If I were to wonder about it, which I don't, I'd probably assume they think I'm a loser. But since I'll never know, so why waste energy caring?

It has nothing to do with having a low opinion of strippers. For the ones I choose to spend time with, I happen to have a high opinion of their ability to turn me on. However, I don't know them well enough to have a general opinion about them, nor do they know me well, so what each of us thinks is pretty insignificant.

I will try to be brief: NO! :)
There only a few people in my life whose opinion of me that matters to me, and strippers are just not them. LOL!

I don't spend much time thinking about it either. I totally agree with Chandler. I go there to have a good and hopefully relaxing time for an hour or two. If the girls on duty allow me that good time, I will leave happy. Their opinion of me is hopefully that I was polite and friendly. Anything else is probably irrelevant and not an issue that concerns me.

I guess I tend to agree with the consensus here, but I also like to talk to the gals and find out a little about them. A good conversation can also be stimulating--and sometimes lead to better contact in the LD room.

Just like anyone that I see on a regular basis, I care about many of the dancers that I've gotten to know. The "passing thru" dancers, or the "wanna dance?" types are a different story - they never stay in my life long enough for me to care about them very much.

I do like some dancers who are very friendly to me. hmmm, do I care what they think about me? I hope they don't think I'm a jerk or worse. Do I care that much about dancers I've never seen nor talked to? I only hope they have a decent attitude towards the customers and guys and gals in the clubs even if they don't care about us. Now if a dancer thinks she wants to go to bed with me I would like to know that. So I guess I would like to know or care about what some dancers think. Now if she's fat, ugly and repulsive, I don't care that much and just want her to leave me alone. She can go work at Walmart or somewhere else. That's all she needs to know. Fortunately, I don't see too many repulsive dancers.

Quoting Xdamage (pink site) very perceptive post, reposted in my original post in the "nice guy" thread

"a lot of guys seem to be walking around who pride themselves on being "nice" and "agreeable" to women vs just being themselves, being honest, and not worrying that every woman likes them."

Ironically, actually not giving a shi.t what strippers do or do not think about us, probably even works better for those that actually do give a shi..t - if that makes any sense at all

jablake, i'm sure a wind bag such as yourself cares. You probably have no "friends" that you do not pay to judge your own value on.

Hi David9999,

Actually that does make a lot of sense. :) Not a universal rule by any means, but it seems caring (or being nice) is perceived as a negative by a good many dancers. And, if you think about it from their perspective it might make a lot more sense.

Hi parodyman,

I'm just a "wind bag" when writing. :) Well, ok I'm occasionally a wind bag with the spoken word.

Actually, even if I had a *low opinion* of a particular stripper I would still care to some degree like 1%? or 5%?. Some very small amount of caring.

The woman that I was thinking of isn't even a stripper. I detest her and her father, who was an elected official. Perhaps detest isn't a strong enough word. Loathe; despise. IOWs, were not buddies. :) It comes from a dispute surrounding the word "voluntary." In her opinion and her father's opinion a person can never complain of being forced as long as your actions are "voluntary." For example, if you put a knife to a woman's throat and threaten to carve her up or kill her unless she provides you with sex, the woman can't complain because her submission was "voluntary." As the woman explained if someone put a knife to her throat or started carving her up she is still free to say NO!; thus, if she decides sex is better than being carved up or being killed she has made her bed and she NO right to complain that she didn't have a choice. The sickness extends to the idea of "personal responsibility." The woman has to take responsibility for her actions (submitting to the rape or not to) just as the rapist has to take responsibility for his actions.


How did we get into a discussion of "voluntary." There was a talk show many years ago where they had a tax protester and an IRS spokesman. Surprisingly, both stated that filing an income tax return was "voluntary." Unfortunately, the IRS idea of "voluntary" was even if there was a death penalty or 30 years in prison as a penalty for failure or refusal to file an income tax return it was still "voluntary." My thought at the time was what a sicko and that probably isn't even the government's position. Tell these tax protesters in simple English that filing an income tax is required by law and that it isn't "voluntary" in any true sense of the word. There are real penalties! Don't confuse the damn "simpletons." Yes, a handful of people could probably stand up against rape and choose to be carved up or killed, but that hardly means submitting to the rape was "voluntary." In same manner, I'm sure there are people who don't mind or can stand up to whatever punishments the government dishes out, but that hardly makes compliance "voluntary." Those who believe it is and that you have NO right to complain or object, I have an extreme contempt for. And, who knows there may be a lot more people who believe in that than not.

I think you can benefit from them "liking" (in a customer-service kind of way) you, because they'll go an extra mile for your benefit here or there. Maybe not a lot, but at least a little. If you're TRULY "disliked" you'll find that you don't get much mileage or attention regardless of how much money you have to spend, within reasonable limits. I think the "like" phenomenon doesn't go very far, though.

One thing I prefer about strip clubs is that, BECAUSE it doesn't matter if they like me or not, I can just up and walk out any time I want. No goodbyes, no tipping or hand-shaking or saying thank you. Christmas party? You have to be friendly. Strip club? Fuck that friendly shit.

The OLD Angels was very unfriendly. Money wasn't the issue. I liked that club because of the lack of manners and similar backgounds. It was mind blowing that people from outside the culture would want anything to do with the club. In fact, most would leave ASAP which was wonderful. You want a place where you can relax and be extreme--usually depressed and not doing much. :) I remember this one nice dancer (most people wouldn't consider her nice in the least) telling me you can't be unhappy every single day. I replied with disgust with something like drop dead or go to hell or something worse. Actually we were friends although I never spent any money on her. And, to outsiders it would seem I wasn't being nice to her . . . yet she considered me too nice. :)

At first glance, it might appear I don't care since I don't even remember dancers very well sometimes. However I'll treat them the same or better than they treat me many times. I see them as people working for a living and dealing with other difficult customers and relationships at times. I've been out with a few dancers and believe many of them have a lot more problems to deal with than I do. Some problems are created by your own actions though.

I dont allow them to get to me, their human as im i; and are working a job just like anybody else,hell sluts can work fast food. I never assume that just because a chick works at a SC that she's easy or is willing to go with me for money. Im a firm believer in treating a chick how she carrys her self,in and out of a SC. If she acts like a whore then i'll treat her as such,the chicks i sit with have class and are doing their job,providing a fantasy.

A dancer is paid to pretend to like you. It's an act and a fantasy. Don't think they have any personal feelings for you, as a customer, beyond the amount of cash you can drop. We would all like to be liked and appreciated for the good guys we think we are. Not going to happen in the SC environment, because dancers don't see customers as friends, dates or boyfriends. Just cash. So why worry what they think when we know the truth.

Thing is, just about any emotion starts to "feel real" and then "become real" if the person pretends hard enough.

It's up to us to know where the fantasy ends and bankruptcy begins.

Do the strippers care what you think or care? Hopefully not. Their job is to focus on the cash and getting it out of you. End of story. If there are other issues, they don't really belong at the top of the list. We're all human, just some are more so than others. I've been given the high-hat by strippers who are creeped out by straight women such as myself who enjoy strip clubs. It's their right to act in whatever way they need to, and I don't take it personally. Sometimes I think they just don't know what to do with a woman, but ideally I'm hoping they will just treat me as they treat men, perhaps with a little less anxiety about what I may want from them. Some of the strippers are happy to see me because they understand that I don't want anything more from them than their being who they are. This puts them more at ease, and they feel legitimized by being treated with respect by a patron who is another member of their sex. I think everyone deserves respect, and that generally people will treat you as you treat them if they are able. You can see the difference when you go to a male strip club - the men are not nearly as friendly as female strippers. A lot of it has to do with the power differential between men & women in our culture.

They're just whores.

So are the rest of us. :P

No, really -- we're all doing "what we don't REALLY want to do, except for the money" and "selling out" and "ya gotta make ends meet."

"They're just whores." PLs and whores hanging out together enjoying the strip club vibe

I'm more of a whore than a PL, personally. :)

Well, Bobbyl. A little judgment there with the 'whore' thing, huh? These are people we're talking about. If they are 'just' whores, what are the people who are the clients, in other words, you and me? Are we 'just' johns? Maybe it makes it easier for you to label like that but you're missing a lot of reality that way. As I read more & more of the posts here, it's clear that there is more going on than straight prostitution here, which, anyway, is never clear cut by itself. If you have a beautiful woman and an average looking guy, one way to even out the exchange is with money. Some of us marry for it, others want more freedom and do this kind of work instead.