Being Catfished !

avatar for Warrior15
Warrior15
Anywhere there are Titties.
In case you don't know what the term means :

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catfishing

I love Seeking.com . I've had a lot of fun with some very pretty girls. It is a lot of work to meet these girls and there is a cost. But I have had a ball the past 3 years. But every once in a while, the girl shows up and she just does not look like her profile photos. In the past 3 years, I've had sugar dates with probably over 50 different women thru the site. Now I am aware that girls are always going to put their best pics in these profiles with their make-up done perfect and wearing their sexiest clothes that fit them the best. And there is probably a filter involved in a lot of those online photos. I will accept that. But even given that, I have been pretty pleased with around 9 out of 10 girls I meet.

But there are a few that are just outright deceiving people. First time it happened to me, this very attractive woman in her mid-40's shows up to the date. For someone in her 40's, she looked really good. Problem was the photos in her profile were of her 20 years ago. When you are expecting a hot 25 year old, and a reasonably attractive 45 year old shows up, you tend to be disappointed .

On Thursday, I meet a new girl at a bar for drinks. Her profile photos are stunning. I"m almost thinking she is out of my league. We negotiate the ppm before we meet and I'm surprised that she is willing to do it for my first low ball offer. She is coming from her job straight to the bar to meet me so she did not go home to put on make-up. So I saw the natural girl. YIKES !!!! Make-up can really hide things. Plus, she was about 20 lbs heavier than what I was expecting. I looked at her photos again the next day and she did strategically not show her butt from behind in the pics. My fault I guess.

But last night was the worst. The girl's photos are of this hot, fit 22 year old. She had photos of her firm butt in a tight dress and very toned legs. She shows up and she is at least 40 lbs heavier than her pics showed. I'm guessing she used some kind of filter that shrunk her figure in. And this morning, I'm looking at the pics of her face. I looked at them yesterday and I"m thinking she is making a kissing gesture to the camera. But no, that is the filter shrinking in her face to make it look thinner.

How do I keep this from happening ? In each of these occurrences, the girl negotiated the PPM before we meet. Do I not pay what I agreed to before we met ? In each of these times, after a few drinks I end up fucking them anyway. Do I pay them less than what we agreed since the product was to up to par ?

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avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
3 years ago
How do I keep this from happening ? Go to strip clubs where what you see is what you get.
avatar for Huntsman
Huntsman
3 years ago
^. Agree. It’s part of SA and there are other options.
avatar for Eltriste
Eltriste
3 years ago
Tell her you want to FaceTime before you pursue things further. Anyone real won't mind
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
3 years ago
@Warrior15

I will play along and answer your questions:

Q: How do I keep this (catfishing) from happening?

A: Video-chat/FaceTime should be a must for anyone looking to avoid being catfished online.

Video-chat/FaceTime enables you to see who you are really talking with, and can help you make a better impression about the other person than by just talking texting or emailing.

Q: Do I not pay what I agreed to before we met?

A: If she doesn’t look like her pictures or is attractive to you, you should say, I am sorry sweetie where is the girl I supposed to meet? And then leave. Otherwise you are encouraging them to continue deceiving others.

Q: In each of these times, after a few drinks I end up fucking them anyway. Do I pay them less than what we agreed since the product was to up to par?

A: You should not drink and post, drive or do anything while wearing 🍺 beer goggles.

Let’s be careful out there.

:D
avatar for TheeOSU
TheeOSU
3 years ago
^


cj's experience was developed from his pleading for dick pics over the years so even though he's very experienced at that his experience doesn't apply here so don't mind him, he is what he is and can't help himself.
avatar for Warrior15
Warrior15
3 years ago
Shadow, you may have a point. There is also a certain convenience factor to strip clubs. Getting a sugar date takes time.
Icey, Facetime might help. But then they would see how ugly I am. LOL.
heaving might have the best answer. Stay drunk all the time.

Anybody else been catfished ?
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
3 years ago
About 10 years ago I got catfished with very enticing pictures of a beautiful young lady and I showed up for the date and there was a at least 10-15 year difference in age. you could tell she was the same girl but the pictures did not show her as she was presently.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
3 years ago
"Anybody else been catfished ?"

EVERYONE on seeking has been catfished. Yeah, LOTS of catfishes on seeking. You're going to hate the way to get around that.

1. The standard is that the first meeting is platonic. Girls coming to meet you the first time with an understanding of having sex that night, especially if they've accepted a lower PPM -- 1000x more likely to be catfishes. Your process is basically optimizing for getting catfished the most, since the "lets' meet tonight for sex" girls are the most unsavory

2. If you can handle the security risks, a quick zoom call in advance basically makes this whole issue go away. I have done a few of these, and in a couple of cases it saved me all the time and trouble of meeting someone, and once or twice it confirmed that this is a girl I should meet ASAP. And don't worry about it if you're handsome-challenged... the girls are more looking for "he seems fun and interesting and he's not going to chop me into pieces afterwards". I don't always do this but if you want 100% guarantee against getting catfished, this is it.

3. Some guys ask her for a "take a full body picture with you holding up 3 fingers", to guarantee it's a recent picture. Surprisingly, a lot of girls are ok with this! At least you know her body shot is recent.

avatar for Muddy
Muddy
3 years ago
Thanks for saying it Warrior most guy leave out the duds in their life but it’s interesting to read about.

I usually insist on FaceTime, be it through, Snapchat, iPhone or the seeking app itself eliminates the crazy stuff right there. One thing I do run into though is just the body of the girl is not really what I’m into. A lot of girls that are not strippers don’t always have these great bodies (some strippers too no doubt)

The one thing that I keep going back to seeking for is that access to a certain type of girl that doesn’t strip. Maybe a sorority type girl without an income that just want hair/nail money and is cool with hooking up. I’m willing to get burned a few times for that.

avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
3 years ago
@Warrior15

To answer your question:

Q: Anybody else been catfished ?

A: Who hasn’t been catfished…

:D
avatar for Muddy
Muddy
3 years ago
As far as me being catfished I guess it depends to what degree really, I try to screen out as much bullshit as I can but nothing too crazy yet like meeting a 20 year age gap.


I go back and forth with strip clubs though IME strippers cost more, when you consider all the other fees involved just to get to that point.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
3 years ago
I have 3 Cory Catfish in my aquarium. So I guess you could say that I've been catfished. :)
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
3 years ago
Yeah I find get fatfished is the most common. Maybe once I met a girl who I thought looked 10 years older than her pics. But a girl 15+ pounds heavier? Happens all the time, which is why I'm now open to things like zoom calls instead of wasting all that fucking time
avatar for grand1511
grand1511
3 years ago
Do you think they would selectively screen out if you asked to meet in person before making any financial arrangements? At least they would have to put in more effort on appearance for that first meeting.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
3 years ago
@Subraman: "1. The standard is that the first meeting is platonic."

This. Someone on our local USASG sugar board made this suggestion some time before I actually started seeking, and it worked well for me. First date was <em>always</em> just coffee/lunch, occasionally dinner, but never the sex part. A couple of them ended up in sex after the first meet, but when I was doing that, my thing was not to do that most of the time, in order to give her a non-confrontational way to decline.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
3 years ago
Grand, there's no "think" about it -- many of the women you're trying to avoid, whether they're catfishers, escorts, GPS girls, etc, will not come to a platonic initial meeting, with no promise of a payoff. They all self-screen out. The catfishers in particular know that the types of guys who do a guaranteed-payoff first date are a bit more john-like, and will fuck them even if they show up fat. And, the girls who do show up knowing it's platonic and no payment -- I'd say 3 out of 5 times, maybe 4 out of 5 times, they'll fuck you anyway if they like you (for the agreed PPM).

That said, if you'd rather just fuck on the first date and don't want to deal with the initial platonic dinner, doing a quick zoom call or some posted pics ("full body holding up four fingers") will get some of that out of the way. You still might be meeting an escort posing as an SB, but at least it won't be a fat one lol

avatar for sinclair
sinclair
3 years ago
It is amazing how many girls on there will start asking what you are going to pay them in allowance when they only have one blurry picture up. The most common catfishes I've experienced are the fatfish and the sagfish. I have met a handful of girls who said they didn't have kids, then when they show up in person, it is obvious they have thrown at least one calf by the stretch marks and saggy tits.
avatar for Eltriste
Eltriste
3 years ago
Just face time. There's no reason to be catfished nowadays.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
^ Frenulum
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
As usual, Subraman comes here with good advice on the topic. I tried Seeking twice and it didn't work for me. It would be fair to say that I didn't try very hard to learn my lessons. I met with two women and in both cases they were not close to the pictures. In both cases, I politely but quickly ended the interaction. In one instance, it was a huge pain in ass because I drove to Boston to meet the woman.

I read a post by a guy on the "SugarLifestyle" reddit who stated that at some point during the online "getting to know you" phase, he'll state something like "Just so you know, I've been catfished before. If that's going to happen with you tonight, I'm just going to walk away." He went on to say that somewhere between a third to half the women he was chatting with would go radio silent pretty immediately. He appreciated not having to spend the gas money.
avatar for yahtzee74
yahtzee74
3 years ago
If you've met over 50 women online and only have a few examples of being mildly catfished I'd say that you couldn't do any better than that.
avatar for rattdog
rattdog
3 years ago
one solution to avoid a catfish is to target girls 30 or under. i noticed the examples given here of ladies showing up for a meeting looking 10-15 years older than their pics were women in their 40's. more often than not the younger ones won't resort to such tactics.

what worries me the most is the way some girls can exaggerate their actual looks through makeup. i went through some clips on youtube and saw how girls can move up their looks like 2.5 to 3 points higher. make up back in the day could improve a girl's looks by .5 to 1 point, but recent improvements in makeup quality as well as the ways of applying them can actually be considered a very specialized art form. very reptilian like.

avatar for drewcareypnw
drewcareypnw
3 years ago
Seems to this is a cost of doing business?
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
This is a big, big problem with escorts, since they typically will ask their usual hourly rate even for a platonic meet up. But for me seeing sex workers would not be worth it if I wasn't repeating with a fav most of the time. North of 50% of them I don't click with, even when they are not consciously trying to rip me off.
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