Dancers truly think of you. Pre Covid-I was sitting with a day dancer at Desires. Had known her for a while, pre boob enhancement in fact, and she knew what I do for work because I had given her advice. We were having cocktails and knowing each other fairly well were having a normal conversation. I mentioned how on some days I liked my clients and on other days I didn't. She didn't respond, looked at the stage and then just said: "I hate all my customers". I laughed and then she turned a bit red and said, "present company excluded". I almost fell off my chair laughing, told her it was ok, that I knew how she felt due to my job, and we went back to drinking. She still works there, and we still chat, but we don't do dances. We haven't since well before that day, but I wonder once in a while if she thinks that's the reason. It's not actually. We no longer do dances because I liked her as a natural spinner and the manufactured breasts just killed it for m.
When did you discover the true feelings dancers have for us?
Good question, for which I've never had an answer. During LDs/VIPs, if she avoids eye-contact, always scans the room, goes too quickly into fake moans, calls me baby/papi frequently as if reading from a script, then I presume she's just doing her, job privately hates me, and would never hang under any other circumstances. I'm okay with that - I mean, I'm a customer and under no illusions. I'd like to think I'm at least a clean, pleasant, and respectful customer who, all things being equal, she'd find relatively pleasant to be with - given the circumstances.
The above is probably 90+ percent of my interactions. It's the remaining 10 percent with whom I wonder. Maybe, just maybe, she actually "likes" me somewhat, irrespective of the club environment. I can only think of one dancer at the moment, so it's that rare...
I find that if you get to know just about any dancer on a personal level, you'll learn that they hate 99.9% of their customers. This is confirmed when you become a trusted regular and start to learn just how many dancers are actually lesbians in their personal lives.
I've always just gone in assuming everything is an act to begin with and just take what they say and do at face value. Basically I don't really worry about their true feelings about me unless I can tell they don't really like me.
And the thing is, once I pick up on a fake act, like she's one of those man haters and sends out subtle hints, I don't get dances or anything with her anymore. So with me, a dancer better be genuinely friendly and not hate what she's doing or she better be a damn good actress.
I really don't think about it very much, the few girls that I feel comfortable with I believe they like me, the rest I have no idea, but I would assume that they are OK with me, based on the interactions I have with them, I don't believe any people that are successful at their jobs really hate their customers. OTH I'm sure they have some people that they really don't like, and others that they like more than a little bit, just like evry thing in life, some of it's good some not so good
Cie' La Vie'
I know dancers are doing their job, during the time they are in the club. When I visit the club, I am respectful and polite with everyone I encounter. If I am going to buy dances from a dancer, I’m friendly and pleasant with her.
If dancers dislike all men, because of the crap they have dealt with in the club, my friendly and respectful demeanor isn’t going to change that.
I am aware of those times when a dancer will drop out of her strip club persona, and say things more honestly. I’ve never heard it said directly about me, but I’ve heard dancers go off about other guys.
Maybe it’s good that my hearing has been bad since I took a miserable beating in my childhood? I can’t hear much in a club, so maybe that helps as a good thing!
Had a dancer say "I genuinely love talking to you, it brightens my day" amd I said thanks I look forward to seeing you too!. Her response was "don't believe anything I say its all stripper shit". Pretty funny interaction.
I don’t care what a dancer thinks about me. This is a business arrangement, and I am not foolish enough to think that a dancer likes me, or would ever want to have anything to do with me under non-transactional circumstances. But as with any business relationship, I’m sure there are customers who are total assholes, and those who are more pleasant to deal with. But if you really want to know what a dancer thinks about you, tell her that you don’t have any money and see if she sticks around.
Just after my first lap dance in 1992. I had enough money for 2 dances ($20 each) but she kept going after #2, saying “this one is free”. Then she kept going and going, while I chose to ignore the implications. After a brief conversation along the lines of “wait, I thought you liked me”, (yes I seriously said that) I had to go to my car to get my checkbook and write her a check for $120.
I was 22 then, I’m 52 now. A couple thousand lapdances later, I can honestly say that was the last time I made that mistake!
I think it's something they learn during "stripper orientation." Don't get attached or develop feelings for the chumps that come in the strip club. Therefore, the majority of men that come in, the girls see that as an opportunity to separate them from their cash/credit. However, with that said, they are humans too, and sometimes the rules are bent for certain people. In my days, I've gone home with enough dancers to know that every so often they actually find someone they genuinely like: or at least are attracted to enough sexually that they will see you outside the club for their own pleasure / satisfaction and not strictly financial reasons. Occasionally, dancers do see their "type" and will be sincere with expressing that. I had a dancer that I used to see at the club and also at her home tell me that whenever I came into the club - her dancer friends would tease her and say, "yeah, we know we won't see your ass for a couple hours now since your boo is here...." Her retort was, "so what....y'all be liking dudes too so what's wrong with that?"
I find it incredibly hard to believe anything a stripper tells me. Though, there has been one stripper that was shockingly honest. Told me what drugs she's tried, which stripper was selling what (drugs), how much she typically made a week, talked about her home life and family, etc. She brought up relationships and how every boyfriend always claims to be ok with what she does for work only to eventually ask her to stop. I ended up asking if she'd date a customer and there was no bs in her answer. Simply said probably not. In the context of a longer conversation, told me she only ever said good things about me. I'm still not sure I completely buy that last one. I'm much more inclined to believe that meant I simply don't come up in conversation ever. But since she's generally pretty open and honest with me, maybe there could be a bit of truth in that.
But on the whole, I have to assume a lot of strippers hate their customers. Most guys I see in clubs tend to either be the loud, obnoxious, overly touchy but cheap "look at me" types, or gray-hair and loves to talk about things the average 22-year old stripper doesn't care about.
I go for the type of girl I'd go for normally. I get positive reactions. Even as a customer I get told I have perfect strip club etiquette. I guess coz I'm not cheap and don't grope the. I just make them laugh and smoke weed with them lulz. But a lot of stripper hoes blush and get shy around me even in clubs. It's flattering kinda but I tease with shit like you're not supposed to blush you're supposed to be like a dollar for the titties baby. Lulz
The worst reactions I get are from the type of dancer with a hardened hoe mentality.
There was a time, when I was in my late 20s early 30s and I was the same age as the strippers I went after in the club. It was awesome, I think some genuinely liked me.
Now I’m in my 40s and they’re like “hey you look just like my dads friend.”
One of them loved me. Several like the fact that I can take no for an answer and still spend money. Some hate the fact that I've ever even asked anyone for sex. One invites me to her house for our meetups and lets me stick around after we're done. Sometimes she even feeds me.
Most seem indifferent, in the "I have to be nice to you because you're a customer" type way.
Thanks to the OP for creating this interesting topic. This is something that I have studied closely through personal experience and reading stripper forums. Every once in a while I will find a connection with a dancer that seems to be authentic. I was curious about whether such a connection could be faked.
The answer is: good dancers seek to create the appearance of a connection with the PL. In their forums they talk about
"being their best self" with the clients: attentive, caring, and feminine. They talk about presenting an illusion. So yes,
they're trying to do this because it's good for business. However, a lot of them fail or just aren't good at it. Dancing is a skill and a lot of women who think they want to do it are unable to succeed at it. I was surprised by the troubles many have with the dancing itself. It takes skill, confidence, and athletic ability to dance. Quality clubs won't hire women who can't do it, so we as PLs don't really witness bad dancing unless it's an amateur night.
The interesting thing is, some dancers do actually like at least some of their customers. You'll see them talk about meeting a guy they liked in stripper forums, and spending a lot of time with them because they were interested and engaged.
This is not the rule, but it comes up frequently enough in threads that it isn't rare.
In general though the vast majority are acting a script trying to manipulate the client into maxing their investment.
But just as regular workers might waste time at the water cooler and socialize, so will strippers at work.
@ skibum609... sounds like you missed a major social cue, by her saying she hated all customers, she meant YOU and felt like calling YOU an ass hole and put it nicely.
I started my clubbing in the glory days of the Mitchell Brothers Offarell Theater. The girls were all at least 8's. Some genuine beauties, and they had stripper game. They knew how to treat a man. MBOT was fun sober.
Now I'm happy if I find a 6 or 7 with a good personality. Dealing with pushy dancers and sour moments is getting to be more common. I need a couple drinks to loosen up and enjoy things now.
Interesting observation Cowboy and except for the fact we spent Tuesday drinking together for 2 hours, I might even agree. Even if she thinks I'm an asshole I don't mind. I've been a divorce lawyer for 40 years so dealing politely with people who hate me only happens every weekday and some weekends.
How dancers feel about customers varies. The vast vast majority view customers as a mark — the means to an end. Some can barely hide their disdain. Others are extremely skilled at creating a fantasy that aligns with whatever a customer is seeking.
Some keep their shtick the same and try to find customers that align with that. Others try and read customers and adjust their approach. Some are so mired in whatever personal challenges they face, dancing is just another part of the chaos. Others are extremely shrewd financially and this is simply a high paying job. Depending on the club, many dancers (and customers) have diagnosable behavioral health disorders. Many truly loathe their customers. A not insignificant number of customers loathe dancers.
But every once in a while you find a dancer that genuinely connects with a customer and truly cares. And every once a while, a customer does the same thing. But because there is rapid and artificial intimacy, instances of genuine mutual affection are very very unusual.
The most enjoyable interactions I have had are when dancers are using work as an outlet for their own sexual gratification. Yes, there to make money but…
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The above is probably 90+ percent of my interactions. It's the remaining 10 percent with whom I wonder. Maybe, just maybe, she actually "likes" me somewhat, irrespective of the club environment. I can only think of one dancer at the moment, so it's that rare...
And the thing is, once I pick up on a fake act, like she's one of those man haters and sends out subtle hints, I don't get dances or anything with her anymore. So with me, a dancer better be genuinely friendly and not hate what she's doing or she better be a damn good actress.
Cie' La Vie'
If dancers dislike all men, because of the crap they have dealt with in the club, my friendly and respectful demeanor isn’t going to change that.
I am aware of those times when a dancer will drop out of her strip club persona, and say things more honestly. I’ve never heard it said directly about me, but I’ve heard dancers go off about other guys.
Maybe it’s good that my hearing has been bad since I took a miserable beating in my childhood? I can’t hear much in a club, so maybe that helps as a good thing!
I was 22 then, I’m 52 now. A couple thousand lapdances later, I can honestly say that was the last time I made that mistake!
But on the whole, I have to assume a lot of strippers hate their customers. Most guys I see in clubs tend to either be the loud, obnoxious, overly touchy but cheap "look at me" types, or gray-hair and loves to talk about things the average 22-year old stripper doesn't care about.
My long term customers, I care about them a lot, actually.
The worst reactions I get are from the type of dancer with a hardened hoe mentality.
Now I’m in my 40s and they’re like “hey you look just like my dads friend.”
SJG
People have called this song, "An Apocalyptic Gem".
The School of Rock plays Gimme Shelter with Special guest star Orianthi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwlRGS0x…
Gimme Shelter - Portland School of Rock House Band
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVnnXeER…
TMI can easily spoil the fantasy.
Most seem indifferent, in the "I have to be nice to you because you're a customer" type way.
The answer is: good dancers seek to create the appearance of a connection with the PL. In their forums they talk about
"being their best self" with the clients: attentive, caring, and feminine. They talk about presenting an illusion. So yes,
they're trying to do this because it's good for business. However, a lot of them fail or just aren't good at it. Dancing is a skill and a lot of women who think they want to do it are unable to succeed at it. I was surprised by the troubles many have with the dancing itself. It takes skill, confidence, and athletic ability to dance. Quality clubs won't hire women who can't do it, so we as PLs don't really witness bad dancing unless it's an amateur night.
The interesting thing is, some dancers do actually like at least some of their customers. You'll see them talk about meeting a guy they liked in stripper forums, and spending a lot of time with them because they were interested and engaged.
This is not the rule, but it comes up frequently enough in threads that it isn't rare.
In general though the vast majority are acting a script trying to manipulate the client into maxing their investment.
But just as regular workers might waste time at the water cooler and socialize, so will strippers at work.
They're just like us!
I started my clubbing in the glory days of the Mitchell Brothers Offarell Theater. The girls were all at least 8's. Some genuine beauties, and they had stripper game. They knew how to treat a man. MBOT was fun sober.
Now I'm happy if I find a 6 or 7 with a good personality. Dealing with pushy dancers and sour moments is getting to be more common. I need a couple drinks to loosen up and enjoy things now.
Some keep their shtick the same and try to find customers that align with that. Others try and read customers and adjust their approach. Some are so mired in whatever personal challenges they face, dancing is just another part of the chaos. Others are extremely shrewd financially and this is simply a high paying job. Depending on the club, many dancers (and customers) have diagnosable behavioral health disorders. Many truly loathe their customers. A not insignificant number of customers loathe dancers.
But every once in a while you find a dancer that genuinely connects with a customer and truly cares. And every once a while, a customer does the same thing. But because there is rapid and artificial intimacy, instances of genuine mutual affection are very very unusual.
The most enjoyable interactions I have had are when dancers are using work as an outlet for their own sexual gratification. Yes, there to make money but…