Customers With Sexual Problems?

Maybe you should have your wife learn to work a stripper pole at the house? :)

I'll admit as well to being a (therpist-diagnosed) sex addict. The therapy and medication that I get helps me out some (I tend to go out to SCs and look at porn less now), but it's something that I've been dealing with for a long time. I'm addicted to strip clubs...seeing new ones...new girls...having new experiences...at least some of that isn't a bad thing IMO. It's like being a horny explorer...lol...

I've also found that I tend to "wear out" an ATF from my perspective...a few months go by and she doesn't seem to "do it" for me anymore. Don't get me wrong, they're still smokin' hot, but I guess I need something new to really get me going. The good news is...there's always something new in this hobby just around the next corner. :)

Prior to becoming a widower, my wife and I had an exciting and wholesome sex life. We knew each other (inside/out) and could please each other very well, sometimes beyond belief. However, there were those few times in 20 years of marriage that I would get "hit on", and fall under the spell of a mysterious woman.

Now that I have no serious SO, I have become addicted to strip clubs for my sexual prowless and excitement. Not that I am proud of it, but I believe I have become an SCJ (strip club junkie), requiring a fix here and there!

Besides the sexual intrique of strange beautiful women, I am still fearful of falling in love again, and having to go through the grief I experienced losing my first wife. I probably need to see a psychologist for this reason....... but I'd have to use my strip club funds, and I don't think I can find a psychologist wthat will "put out"!

If you listened to what one dancer told me one time, you would think the people going to strip clubs don't have a sex addiction problem, they have a lack of desire problem. Customers go to the strip clubs but then they sit in their chairs and/or don't want any dances and don't bother to tip the girls on stage. A visiting dancer once told me, "there must be something in the water here." For me, just sitting and watching and never even getting close enough to tip a dancer would be less fun than surfing the internet.

I fuck lots of strippers even though I don't like them very much (beyond their looks and fucking skillz).

I like the lack of desire idea.. Alot of times it is happily married men, who just need some stimulation... As a dancer, my husband and I get caught up in everyday shit of life, and we have to take a step back, and take time out to have some good sex.. So even I being in a sexual industry, have kids and dinner and bills on my mind, that its easy to get caught up in, and need some stimulation to enjoy life more...

I have found two things about my "sexual addiction."

1. In order to be fully sexually functioning, I require a wide range of hot women, and yet cannot seem to land what I want "in the real world." I have never really found that "someone whom I care about" makes me more sexually aroused, or even ADEQUATELY sexually aroused, simply on the basis of that "care." I can't "get a new hot chick" often enough on the basis of my dating / mating / real-world social skills (and I sometimes wonder if those skills are even learn-able at all? it's all so RANDOM, what women respond to), and therefore I must find resolution elsewhere.

2. When I have big projects going on, with adequate deadlines and appropriate rewards at the end, my sexual interest diminishes. So does my interest in smoking and drinking. I think all three "addictions" are actually just time-fillers and life-fillers. If I had more of a feeling that my career might actually be productive and fulfilling -- but I don't, because I work in an office and for someone else and cannot afford otherwise, and frankly hate business and sales and the whole "life is about what you make of it" type of mentality anyway -- then maybe I'd be happier about life, and therefore less dependent on external gratification from things like strippers.

I don't know if this means I have "sexual problems" or if it just means I'm a normal red-blooded male who therefore by definition stands outside of what normal mainstream North America expects his behavior to be. We live in a Puritanical culture. But I do know, it means I'm perpetually unfulfilled.

I enjoy the company of beautiful women in various states of undress. Is that really a problem? C'mon, guys.

Is not getting any sex a sexual problem? Heah, probably, nevermind.

No doubt it's the #1 sexual problem of SC customers. And "sex addiction" is a problem only when you don't have a willing partner to have sex with.

"I enjoy the company of beautiful women in various states of undress. Is that really a problem?" Well, it might be if you go bankrupt in the process of viewing them, or lose your job, etc. Anything that's done to an excess can be a big problem sometimes.

"And 'sex addiction' is a problem only when you don't have a willing partner to have sex with." What if you're pumping her so often that she bleeds...that might be a problem. :)

I enjoy naked women and sex as much as the next guy, but I think moderation is the key. Addiction by definition means that you have a recurring compulsion to engage in something despite the possible harmful consequences to one's health, mental state, or social life.

I, personally DO NOT have any sexual problems whatsoever!!!!

Now, just ask Mr Happy!!!!

MisterGuy: The problems you're hypothesizing are a money problem and a technique problem, respectively. What others are describing in this thread is a problem of too much aimless free time, not real addictions, as Book Guy confesses.

Chandler has a very very very VALID point with the "too much aimless free time" thing. He just described me to a "T"! However, that is being worked on, as I am in the candidacy process of being accepted as a part time employee, which thankfully, will take up some of that "aimless" free time of mine.

I wonder ... is it really the "free" nature of the time, or more the "lack of goal" nature of it, or something more like the "lack of fulfillment" nature of it? If you have free time, you can always fill it with something that feels productive, as long as you can figure out what that thing ought to be. For me, though, that thing is precluded by having to work at something I don't like doing. This means no "real" blocks of free time, and consequently only marginal random moments snatched from an otherwise unfulfilling existence. It isn't that I have a lot of time on my hands, it's that I'll never know when I'm going to have a little time free and I'm so miserable with the rest of the time which isn't free.

It's kind of a time management issue, I guess ... but it's not, JUST, having a huge amount of idle periods and nothing to do with them.

As far as the topic question - I am not sure if I have sexual problems, because I'm not aware of a problem with sex. Nor am I aware of anything non-sexual, therefore, I certainly may have sexual problems. One fact I know for sure! The head on my shoulders is beginning to resemble the head on my dick! Nuff said!

Book Guy, I can't help but point out the irony of your having the time to dissect the meaning of "too much free time".

rofl ... glad you caught that ... :)

Well, Book Guy, you know the standard line to say to a guy who appears to spend an "unhealthy" amount of free time indoors on geeky obsessions: "You need to get a girlfriend."

Time. How much time does it take to meet a woman, get to know her and get her in bed? In a club you have instant contact, meeting and conversation. You survive on the fantasy that you can get her in bed. LD is a substitute. Nothing wrong, yet. Are you neglecting you work and other responsibilities? Are people who depend on you going without what they need to enjoy life, because you are spending too much money in clubs? Are you going to dump your wife to hook up with some hot young stripper who will dump you after she cleans you out? Keep both heads straight and you will be OK--most of the time.

Chandler: I DO "need to get a girlfriend." I've known that for twenty years. It's funny how we talk about it as though you can just go down to the corner store whenever you want ... :)

I remember once I was trying to date this hot chick named Sara. She had my motor going, and everyone knew it, and I guess they all also knew she was just jerking my chain because when it didn't happen, all my pals said, "Wait, what did you EXPECT?" Well, honestly, I EXPECTED that we'd date, be mutually respectful, maybe have sex, maybe get involved romantically, maybe not. Their advice was consistently, "Why don't you just FUCK her? Ferchrissakes! I'm sick of HEARING about it." I can sympathize that I was annoying and they probably WERE sick of hearing about it; but what the hell did they THINK I was TRYING to do? "Why don't you just FUCK her?" Duh! That's what I WANT to do, but she's not ACQUIESCING. Why don't I? Because SHE WON'T! duh duh duh duh ...

The funny thing was, it didn't really occur to anyone that they were stating a tautology. Kind of like making the suggestion on your final exam, that if you want to get a high grade, you should stop getting answers wrong.