Spending too much time around strippers?

I mean all I do in my off time is hang out with strippers and I think it's beginning to affect my psyche. I'm starting to even speak strippereese. I've lately been noticing some troubling signs...

-I was at the club the other night and instead of ordering the usual Heineken, I got a tequila sunrise and demanded I get one of those little umbrella's in there. I wanted a pink umbrella to match my shirt but all they had was a blue one so I got kind of sassy and started waving my finger around with my other hand on my hips.

-Last night I turned off the Met game and turned on 90 day fiancé to see what that bitch Paola was up to.

-When I go to the strip club now, I get really into the club drama. I mean really fucking into it. I'm all about it now. Any time I get the lowdown on who the DJ is fucking behind the manager's back I let out a big OH. MY. GOD.

-I had a job interview last week that I just casually showed up 4 hours late for like it was nothing. That's not like me at all.

-And this was the last straw, but today I went to the strip club not to fuck like I normally would. In all honesty I went to see if Daisy thought my ass looked fat in these new jeans. This incident got me very concerned and I think I may need to take a little break here.