No shame...

Lets discuss what its like for a new girl... First night is hard for us all. The reality hits you in the face like a strong hand of honestly and moral solitude. I sat in the mirror wondering if this was right... as seconds turned into minutes turned into hours I decided to get ready. You spend hours on a your wardrobe, makeup and hair... Turning into the lot I went into the shop.. a brazilian and my nails... i remember thinking who would really care. As the car came into park it hit me what i was doing. The formalities had long been gone. Hey i said as i slid by to my room. The bell rang and i went to the floor. Hi.. smiling... giving all the BS i could stand and eventually here he was. As we made it back to the room i knew what was before me. We talked and after a while it was about to happen. He was large... I was old enough but scared. Foriegn hands on my body and before it began it was over... this was it i had done it. in my head i wasnt that bad and it was something that circumstances controlled but in reality this was my choice. What i remember most was standing up and cleaning myself up... changing sheets and preparing myself for my next one... this was what i do now...