How long did you know your ATF before ...

I have never actively sought out an ATF. MY first overwhelmed me the first time we met. Beauty, intelligence, charm, and sexuality. She had it all and she was queen of the club. It took 4 months for me to attach that label to her. When she sent flowers to my home via FEDEX, that was the clincher. She quit the business on OCT 23,2003.

My second. Just crept up on me. I woke one morning and realized that I had a new ATF. She quit the business about 7 months ago but may be back. She still drops by the club to bull shit with her friends.

I presently do not have an ATF and am not looking for one. Again. I have a list of 15-20 favorites and 2 or 3 of them are vying for top honors. I am content to just play the field. I like each and every one of them but for different reasons.

When speaking of ATFs, of course there is only one - the current one, but throughout the years, several favs have ultimately became ATFs of that point in time. Upon reflection, I think the turning point in those relationships that changed their status was when we moved from ITC to OTC.

I suppose, at least in my thinking, the fact that she agrees to hookup OTC implies a certain level of trust and closeness.

More specifically, in answer to your question, I knew my ATF for a very short time before I realized that she was the best - the one that I most enjoyed being with. With her, I spent a total of around 15 SOLID hours talking, playing and getting to know each other before I felt that there was something more than just a hot stripper. If I were to pinpoint the exact moment, I's say it was when we shared our first DFK. I'm telling you, that was THE hottest kiss I've ever had in my life (and I've had quite a bit of experience in that catefory). At that point it was evident that all other dancers that I'd known before her, and since, pale in comparison.

This is a true story! I was attracted to my first ATF on the first day we met. The attraction, besides, beauty, charm, wit? She deep-throated me on my first visit to her club!! All 2 1/2 inches!!! Naw, we worked on our relationship for about 2 months, before I awarded her the title of ATF! I still miss her to this day!

Mine was a beautiful Asian, so it took no time for me. Now for the relationship, it took about three visits before we found many common things. That said, due to the vast age difference, I do think I was a father figure to her. She has no family.

I'd like to think it was very early on, though it wasn't the first time, because the first time I saw her, she was literally the last dancer of the evening at that club. I came back a week later and spent a lot of time and money on her, so it could have been instantaneous, but it technically wasn't. Most of my favorites over the years have been similar, although my current favorite at my favorite club probably had to grow on me, mostly because she isn't the type I physically go for most.

My ATF's definitely grew on me. Didn't happen right away. In fact the first one I was ticked off at on our first outside the club encounter. I didn't know she wanted money especially since we didn't do anything or plan on anything. I was ticked off at her and was even going to avoid going to the club she worked at. I probably wouldn't do this now but I had a lot of a cash back then and decided to go ahead and give her something after she started crying. Someone told me don't let some dancer decide where you go and don't go. I liked the club she worked at and returned. However she liked me and worked on me. In fact at times I felt like I couldn't get away from her. My memory may be slightly fuzzy now. I can't remember if she was first, second, or third. Maybe she was first and it was like on again off again. She had my phone number and didn't lose it even after I moved out of state. At least not for 2 years when she called me again saying she was working weekends at PP in Columbia about 8 years ago. I went to visit her one last time but only at the club.

I call her an ATF but most of the time it was all about the money to her. Except later on when she invited me to stop by to visit her at her house when I was in the area for a job interview. No money involved, just visiting her for a few minutes before I returned home. I didn't even realize at that time that she was looking for a new boyfriend. I probably should have gotten a hint when she called me up one night and wanted to go see a movie with me, no strings attached. I declined because she lived 2 hours away. Her real boyfriend left her but I found out a couple of months later that she was also pregnant. I was glad I didn't get too involved with her. One of my friends joked I could have an instant family, haha, I didn't think that was funny.

I think dancers don't plan on things like that. They think their current boyfriend loves them and will take care of them but then they get pregnant and he leaves. I think this is common. I don't know if child support is enforced in situations like this either. I don't think it is based on what I heard long ago. Other ATF's didn't ask for money when I went out with them. I liked that a lot better and enjoyed their company a lot better to start with.

About a month....which, at the time, was probably about four or five visits. I got very friendly with her and then she told me that she was going home to Brazil to visit for a month. While she was gone 9/11 happened. I didn't see her after the month was up and I figured that she had decided not to come back to the US after the attacks (a few ladies I knew went home because of 9/11). Finally she appeared after about six weeks and I realized how much I had missed her sense of humor, her hot little Brazilian body and her dances. I pretty much stopped spending money on anyone else!

Actually if my first ATF was telling me the truth, she was in a sad situation. Her boyfriend had left her pregnant. I told her I was moving out of state and wouldn't be even visiting anymore. Then she told me in a sad voice, "I'm in love with you." She's the only ATF to tell me that line but I did have another dancer tell me she liked me better than all the other guys she's been out with and then she added, that means a lot to her because she's been out with a lot of guys. That seemed like a both a compliment and warning. I was wondering how many guys is that?

Here's a tale of two cities. I had about 3 ATFs before my current one. With each one, it took about a month after our first encounter before I we were showing each other a strong preference ITC. And then we would eveolve into some OTC activities, mostly pretty normal stuff like meals and hanging out. But at some point with each, that evolution would hit a brick wall, probably because of limits or fears, or whatever, in the girl's mind. Oh, did I mention I was married and up front about that?!

Anyway, my current ATF is no longer my ATF, but rather my live-in SO. I met her in a club I rarely went to, but visited one night to see another girl who had moved over there. Well, the other girl was busy, so I was left alone, and my future SO walked up to me, said hi, and one hour later we were making plans to hook up OTC. There were no barriers. She was available, and so was I (finally separated from my ex).

Strip clubs are the wrong places to look for a permanent relationship. No trust, game playing, unrealistic fantasies, and lots of baggage all conspire to derail what would otherwise be a natural progression. But what makes life so interesting are the exceptions to the rule!

Harrydave, it sounds like there isn't a huge age difference between you and most strippers. In my case there is, and I think that makes it easier for an in-club buddy relationship to develop into an OTC friendship that lasts a long time. My ATF and I have been very close friends for over 10 years, she considers me family. We talk on the phone almost every day; I vacation in her town (she lives at the beach.)

It took several months from when I first saw her, and not all by my choice.

This all happened 10 years ago. Hard to believe it's been that long. I had just started going to my home club on a regular basis, at least once a week. First time I'd ever been a regular at any club. On a busy Saturday in May, I was sitting with one girl when I saw a strikingly hot new girl onstage, collecting tips from a row of stage-diving guys. The girl I was with asked me if I didn't agree that Kerri, the girl onstage, looked good for her first night back after having a baby. She had a rather exotic look, like a young Lauren Bacall. She looked serious and pouty, and moved slowly, appearing tentative, as though she wasn't quite sure she was ready for this. I liked Kerri's look, but I wasn't sure if she had the right attitude.

A few weeks later, another new girl named Toni started dancing and quickly became a fave, spending hours sitting with me cuddling and getting backrubs. She talked about being attracted to Kerri, who she thought was clearly the hottest girl in the club. Whenever Kerri danced, Toni would crawl across the stage to tip her to great applause. Over the course of the summer, the two became friends. I tipped Kerri a few times myself, but she never came by afterwards. Watching her dance for other guys, I still wasn't sure if she was my type. She'd stare into the guy's eyes for long periods and never seemed to move or grind much.

But I was still interested, and late one night around Labor Day (I remember it was the week of Princess Diana's funeral), after Toni had done several dances for me, she asked if I wanted her to send Kerri over. I'm never too crazy about having dancers do that, but I said why not. By then, I'd seen Kerri in the club on at least a dozen visits over the summer, and we'd never spoken a word other than thanks after tipping her. The instant she smiled at me it was like she was a totally different person I'd never seen before. Radiant. And the instant she settled onto my lap, she felt like she belonged there. It's hard to describe how good she felt without getting pathetically sappy. All her slow movements felt perfect now. After her dances, Toni came by and asked how it went. I told her, only partly joking, "Sorry, you're history, babe. Serves you right for hooking us up."

Still, I wasn't feeling she was my ATF or anything, just a fave for getting dances. Over the next several weeks, I saw her in the club a few times but it never worked out that we spent much time together. Then, one night in October changed everything. Kerri came stright to me and spent hours cuddling and caressing, not dancing. I'd spent as much time with other strippers but never felt like this with anyone else. Then, however, I didn't see her again for several more weeks. I kept going to the club hoping she'd be there, but no such luck. It turned out her mom had learned she was stripping, and she had to lay low until it blew over. Finally, around the time of the holidays, I was able to continue where we had left off. Over the next couple of years, there were many similar separations and reunions, but through it all she remained the focus of my strip club world.

You're right FONDL, no big age difference. I am 53, she is 25. ;-)

Chandler: So what's up with kerri these days?

Harrydave, I know you meant that as sarcasm, but that is a small difference compared to my ATF and I. I've said it before but I think some strippers like us old guys because we treat them a lot better than do guys their own age. It's a big reason why so many of us geezers go to strip clubs. Works for me.

Doug: Thanks for taking an interest. Since 2000, she has been in and out of stripping, mostly out. She had started working as a nurse. I'm not sure whether that's what she's doing now. I re-connected with her briefly in 2002, then for much of 2004. The last time I saw her was two years ago. She was pushing 30 by then and had put on some weight over the years, but she was still pretty sexy and looked as hot as ever from the neck up. She was drunk, however, and I was more interested in other girls at the club.

Ok, FONDL, I give! I just thought there was an age difference, LOL!

By the way, my ATF, at the tender age of 25, is complaining that some people (no doubt, kids working at McDonalds) are referring to her as "Maam", and "that lady". It's all relative. I remember being in 2nd grade. Our elementary school went up to 6th grade. I was awestruck by the 6th grade girls, some of whom were blooming early.

Come to think of it, this probably explains why I'm wasting my time on this f**king discussion board...some early childhood development glitch!

Harrydave, it's all a matter of perspective. Have you noticed how much better looking 18 yo girls are today vs. when you were 18? Again maybe that's partly why some young girls like geezers, we're less critical and more appreciative than guys their own age. They don't have to be perfect for us to appreciate them.

I first noticed my ATF when I visited her club looking for another dancer who I had been spending some time with. Thank God the girl I went in looking for was off that night. The first wave hit me the first time I saw her, the second wave was when I saw her nude. the final shot came when I spoke to her. The rest is history