OT: Long distance relationships
NinaBambina
Who the fuck is Ninabambina?
Friday, January 1, 2021 6:41 PM
How far (driving distance or otherwise) would it have to be for those considered to be in a long term relationship? What is your opinion on them? Can a relationship work that way, depending on the distance I suppose? Could it be a good start since you won't get tired of each other so quickly?
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37 comments
NAAAASTY
...and then I went ahead and ended it. Wasn’t really in the mood to quit dancing anyways.
That being said, I think it was just that I was in school, and his travel job forced it so that there was no other way than being long distance. It calls things into question if it’s a bit easier to see someone more often, but it doesn’t happen for whatever reason. Maybe try visiting the town he’s at more often, and see if it’s a place you could enjoy (whether with or without him). If it’s not a place you could see yourself enjoying, that could cause some strain in the long-term, so then either he’s hopefully more open to going elsewhere closer to you, or maybe start backing out before things get too far.
Either way, sounds like your’re having fun. 😁
And I don’t know if time to get there necessarily means long distance. Sometimes it takes me over an hour just to get from Queens to Brooklyn FFS. Highway no traffic I would say you start to lose me over an hour and half. If it was somebody I considered datable material so she is probably pretty special and I know how rare that is so I would definitely try to make it work. I would have her sleep over a lot. I might get burnt out of the road after a while.
He has said he would relocate for me if things got really serious, but we're nowhere near that point. I'm planning to visit him this month. He has a corporate job that he could probably transfer here as well as work history in personal training. I have no desire to make him uproot his life any time soon but with the 2.5 hour distance, we could see each other several times a month if we wanted and that might be better for the beginning.
We'll see. Thanks for the responses yall. I'm also looking into a halfway point for us to meet at sometimes so we don't always have to drive the 2.5 hours.
It’s entirely possible to have a long distance relationship now - as FaceTime and texting allow for better (or more realistic) communication. Back in my youth, we would call a few times a week, and have long conversations. It was ok, but it would have been much better to see her as we spoke.
In my view, there is usually an underlying assumption that one partner will move (to the other partner’s location) after an unspoken amount of time. It could be after finishing school or getting a different job, but it is usually there. I’m not sure if that’s the case with you, but I think it’s important to have that talk sooner, rather than later.
The most important aspect of any relationship is trust. If you both have strong feelings and deep trust, it will be difficult when you are apart, but it will make being together that much better.
I don’t think I could do long distance at my age (56). But it was fine as a 20 something with youthful energy - and my first new car - with air conditioning and cloth seats! I wish you the best.
Not sure if that helps you decide if you want to keep him or not. But you asked for a definition. :)
Things are different right now... and it's a good time to have someone in your life. Be considerate, respectful, and enjoy yourself. If you're having fun the distance means nothing.. it's just the way it is.
That'll be lots of fun, and sure to have plenty of hilarity with it. Esp once the first FRIEND finds out and you convince him to hide it bc the other FRIENDS don't know. Best part will be when that FRIEND finds your careless naked photo on the floor while eating a bucket of chicken and the other FRIENDS accuse him of being a pervert. But he turns it around and convinces the other FRIENDS it was you trying to seduce him and to keep the secret going, you play along. And when asked why, you sheepishly reply "bc I'm Nina"
Something similar happened in a TV show, think it was called: Six Companions and Their Crazy Adventures.
NAAAASTY
We are part of the same (large) wedding party and don't want things to get messy, especially for the bride and groom. They already know we have a thing going but don't know we're planning on starting to see each other regularly and on non-wedding/group related events...
A 2 hour drive means you can spend weekends together. You attend every special event.
A 4 hour drive is rough. 8 hours and you're seeing each other once a month.
Go for it and see how it works. These days you can easily do zoom sex.
Yes.
In general it's best to have high hopes but low expectations. But especially true when dating as a dancer. The guy is likely to be fighting with feelings of being a cuck, even if he doesn't talk about it. If he gets hit on, makes it harder to not hit it.
Yeah. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
He and I have very different political views on a lot of things and I'll leave it at that lol. But when we're together it has been amazing.
Lol. Does he have a better side to him?
But, some relationships simply work better from a distance. It’s not for everyone, but as long as it works for you and your partner, it’s all good.
Thanks. He is going to visit me on weekends and vice versa so we will see each other on a lot of weekends where I won't mind not dancing because I'm transitioning to camming and focusing on real estate. So while I can essentially make my own schedule, he only has a certain amount of vacation days and is spending them on the wedding events he's already committed to (idk if you saw I mentioned that's how we met - he's a groomsman so we're both in the wedding party). But he worked Mon-Th but is about to start Mon-Fri which gives us less time but it will work. He doesn't mind me coming to see him on work days and says there's a club right by him that I could work at but I wouldn't want to do that because I'd want to spend time with him. I just told him I'd bring my camming equipment and he can watch my toy shows lol.