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Favorite sexual innuendo phrases.

Avatar for Electronman
ElectronmanToo much of a good thing is never enough

We could use a humorous thread.

Here are two of my favorite sexual innuendo phrases, appropriate for a tee shirt or Hallmark Card.

I'm no gynecologist, but I'll be happy to take a look.

Abstinence makes the hard grow longer.

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Avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat

I'm not a proctologist but I know an ass hole when I see one.

Avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg

"Do you know the difference between sex and a hamburger?"

"No."

"Want to do lunch?"

Avatar for loper
loper

"Can I pet your pussy?" "Sure!" "Get rid of the cat and move over."

Avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl

Best nerd one: I wish I were your first derivative so I could be tangent to your curves.

Best Mexican one: What curves and me without brakes.

Avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong

"How do you feel about giving me head and swallowing my nut?"

Avatar for whodey
whodey

A pearl necklace would look really nice on you.

Avatar for loper
loper

"Ward, You were a little hard on the Beaver last night."

Avatar for loganshard
loganshard

ya know, my hard rock is hungry to cum into your cafe

Avatar for herbtcat
herbtcat

I got this one from a girl who wants me to be her Sugar Daddy:

"Is your name google? Because you got everything I am searching for."

Avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234

Meet me by the porta potty -you can empty your bowels - and I can fill them...

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Cashman1234

Possibly my favorite - Wanna fuck?

It’s subtle.

Avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat

I work harder than an ugly stripper.

Avatar for goldmongerATL
goldmongerATL

That pet your pussy one was actually on TV. Johnny Carson said it to Zsa Zsa Gabor. She had this big cat on her lap.

"Can I pet your pussy?"

"Sure"

"Move the cat"

Avatar for loper
loper

Yes, goldmonger, I steal only from the best.

Avatar for loper
loper

From your responses I'm pretty sure a lot of you don't know what an innuendo is, lol.

Avatar for mike710
mike710

Isn't "Innuendo" Italian for suppository?

Avatar for 48-Cowboy
48-Cowboy

What is an inuendo loper?

Avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong

@loper: I know what an innuendo is. I just generally choose not to use them. :D

Avatar for loper
loper

innuendo: "an allusive or oblique remark or hint, typically a suggestive or disparaging one."

For example, "Wanna fuck?" is not an innuendo.

Avatar for loper
loper

But you knew that.

Avatar for Electronman
Electronman

Mickey Mantle (yep the baseball Hall of Famer) quip to a woman on an elevator:

Mickey: Can I smell your pussy?

Woman: Of course not, I'm not that kind of woman.

Mickey: Ok, must be your feet that I smell.

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