Four friends, who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom.
Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel, and now he’s the president of the company.
He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.”
The second guy said, “Darn, that’s terrific!
My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets.
He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.”
The third man said: “Well, that’s terrific!
My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire.
He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.”
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: “What are all the congratulations for?”
One of the three said: “We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our son… What about your son?”
The fourth man replied: “My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”
The three friends shifted uncomfortably.
“Hmmmm, what a shame,” one replied.
The fourth man replied: * * * * * * * * * * * * “No, I’m not ashamed.
He’s my son and I love him. And he hasn’t done too bad either.
His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received, ....
.....
A beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes.”
The other day, four of my friends and I went out to a local strip club for some fun. None of these guys had ever been to a strip club so they all wanted to impress each other, so one of the guys pulls out a $10 bill and called out to the clearly new stripper on stage. The dancer came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and put it on her butt cheek. Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. He calls the girl back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it on her other butt cheek. Still attempting to impress the rest of us, a third friend pulls out a $50 bill. He calls the girl back over again, licks the $50 bill and again puts it on one of her butt cheeks. Finally my fourth calls the now excited dancer back over, whips out a $100 bill, licks it and sticks it to her butt cheek and looks at me and asks "how are you going to top that big man?"
Now the attention is focused on me. What could I do to top that? I got out my wallet, then got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of her ass, grabbed the $180 bucks and used the cash to take my ATF to the VIP!
Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob and starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Bobbie. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time."
What does a stripper do with her asshole before going to the club?
She tells him that if he is good while she's at work she will take him to Gamestop in the morning.
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A woman stares at a man in a restaurant
The man a little uncomfortable asked: do we know each other?
Woman: I think you're the father of one of my child.
Man: Oh, are you the stripper I banged a couple years ago behind the bar?
Woman: No, but I'm your son's 4th grade teacher.
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom.
Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel, and now he’s the president of the company.
He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.”
The second guy said, “Darn, that’s terrific!
My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets.
He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.”
The third man said: “Well, that’s terrific!
My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire.
He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.”
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: “What are all the congratulations for?”
One of the three said: “We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our son… What about your son?”
The fourth man replied: “My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”
The three friends shifted uncomfortably.
“Hmmmm, what a shame,” one replied.
The fourth man replied: * * * * * * * * * * * * “No, I’m not ashamed.
He’s my son and I love him. And he hasn’t done too bad either.
His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received, ....
.....
A beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes.”
Now the attention is focused on me. What could I do to top that? I got out my wallet, then got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of her ass, grabbed the $180 bucks and used the cash to take my ATF to the VIP!
Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob and starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Bobbie. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time."
She tells him that if he is good while she's at work she will take him to Gamestop in the morning.