Touch-Free Paper Towels Please
sinclair
Strip Club Nation
I was at a strip club and went to the washroom to take a whiz. After I finish, I washed my hands. There is a blow dryer to dry off your hands after washing them. I am about to exit the washroom, but I have to pull on a smudgy, greasy door handle that will recontaminate my hands. We all know over 50% of guys don't wash their hands after using the washroom. That door handle could have all kinds of bacteria, viruses, smegma, STD's, or even E. coli on it.
How am I going to get out of the washroom with my freshly cleaned hands without touching that nasty door handle? Do I wait for another customer to push through the door and catch the open door with my shoe? I don't have any Kleenex or old receipts in my pocket that I could use as a barrier to touching it.
Think, sinclair, think. I look around. Taped to the mirrors and walls are advertisements for upcoming events at the strip club like feature dancers and Christmas parties. I rip two off and use them as a makeshift barrier to grab the door handle with. In one fluid motion, I swing the door open and discard the posters behind the door.
I have to use the pisser several more times that evening. I repeat the same process of using the advertisements as my contamination shield to open the door.
On the third or fourth time I was in the restroom ripping the mini posters off the wall, a guy walks in wearing a suit. I thought he was a club employee who just caught me in the act of vandalizing their restroom. Oh, shit! He walks into a bathroom stall, seeming to not care. I exit the bathroom using my no-touch method. A few minutes later I see the suited guy sit down in the crowd. He was not an employee, just a customer running The System.
How am I going to get out of the washroom with my freshly cleaned hands without touching that nasty door handle? Do I wait for another customer to push through the door and catch the open door with my shoe? I don't have any Kleenex or old receipts in my pocket that I could use as a barrier to touching it.
Think, sinclair, think. I look around. Taped to the mirrors and walls are advertisements for upcoming events at the strip club like feature dancers and Christmas parties. I rip two off and use them as a makeshift barrier to grab the door handle with. In one fluid motion, I swing the door open and discard the posters behind the door.
I have to use the pisser several more times that evening. I repeat the same process of using the advertisements as my contamination shield to open the door.
On the third or fourth time I was in the restroom ripping the mini posters off the wall, a guy walks in wearing a suit. I thought he was a club employee who just caught me in the act of vandalizing their restroom. Oh, shit! He walks into a bathroom stall, seeming to not care. I exit the bathroom using my no-touch method. A few minutes later I see the suited guy sit down in the crowd. He was not an employee, just a customer running The System.
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17 comments
As far as your aversion to germs. Well, every door handle you touch in every place you go is full of all sorts of wee beasties. You cannot escape them. People pick there nose, scratch their asses and nut sacks, sneeze and cough all over their hands, then fondle everything.
I actually studied this by taking culture samples in a nursing home. Cultured the light switches, refrigerator door handle, the dish cleaning sponge and the toilet bowls. The ONLY thing that did not grow a single bacteria was the culture of the toilet bowls. Everything else grew MULTIPLE organisms that were NASTY!