The perfect strip club

Oct 11, 2019, 10:12 AM

I thought this excerpt from a review was funny. I left out a couple of details identifying the club in case anyone wants to guess where the perfect strip club is.

My eyes have never felt So. God. Damn. Good. The dancers are are all perfect. This is the perfect club. The other shit does not matter. They were all angels. All 9’s and 10’s just walking around in one place. Each one of them separate would be the hottest girl at any given club. 1992 Dream team shit. My dick was as if I took 30 pills of viagra. I took this girl, who will remain unnamed BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS MINE. A perfect 10 in every way face beautiful, ass dynamite and her rack was natural and just bliss, you just couldn’t make them more awesome. You just couldn’t. I took her to VIP For the special.

And I left feeling like a changed man. I had realized that coming to this club was the absolute greatest decision of my life. Everything else leading up to this moment was a complete waste of time. Why haven’t I been here every single second of every single minute of every single hour of every single day of every single year. Why? What the fuck was I doing my whole life? Here’s what needs to happen.

I will make money. I will produce semen. I will take these two products and dump both in this club for the rest of my days on this earth. Like a firefighter with a water bucket trying to extinguish the sun. There is a neighborhood behind the club.. There is a house that shares a fence. I will buy this house. Live here and wallow in the joy that is this club for all eternity. All retirement money, investments, savings, future kids college funds, any assets at all whatsoever will be sold off to be able afford whatever this club asks of me.

I will have to become famous somehow, someway to become rich. I will then buy out this club and enslave all dancers that work here to fulfill my sexual desires. I found the perfect strip club. I just need to find the money to afford every single day. And of course relocate.

I could not believe my eyes when I walked in here. This puts every strip club in America to shame. It like some Biblical level sexual fantasy animated. UN FUCKING REAL

comments (12)

Jump to latest

Subraman6 years ago

Ha, totally awesome! That could have described Mitchell Bros from '96-'06. No idea where such a paradise is today.

nicespice6 years ago

This writing style sounds like a Muddy one for sure.

nicespice6 years ago

Pretty sure he was referring to the roaring 20s club in San Francisco.

shadowcat6 years ago

Too easy.

tuscl.net

azdd6 years ago

I had this reaction the first time I walked into Baby Dolls Dallas at the old Northwest Highway location in 1998. Haven’t had that reaction anywhere since. So for some that doesn’t scour reviews from states other than my own, where is this???

shadowcat6 years ago

I just told you!

TFP6 years ago

Yeah you could easily tell it was Muddy. I read that review when he first wrote it so I knew it was from his Bare Elegance review. Funny shit, I love his reviews.

gSteph6 years ago

Where's the bathroom? How much for a coconut water?

Come on, how much for a single lap dance?

dancewdcpa6 years ago

Club ad

Muddy6 years ago

Lol JS. Yes went I first went there on a Saturday night I was truly blown away. Like WTF is this?!?!?!? All these young hotties walking around butt naked. It just has a powerful effect on the sense of sight. Not a gigantic place. Although I had many follow up visits during the week that I was in LA and was not quite as impressed during the daytime and then week nights but it’s still a great club. Nobody fucks with you in those dance booths either.

Next time I go, I’ll have to take a girl to the upstairs VIP. Also it was pretty incredible to see the girls who weren’t making money and getting turned away. I’m like yo go to a different club you’ll probably be the top earner jeez. I will say I saw one club maybe even two clubs since that might’ve had a better lineup. Houston Men’s Club and most certainly Sapphire Upper East Side, There are three, the one right by the 59th street bridge. Sapphire the most hot girls I’ve seen in one place. Still the mileage you’ll get on an entry level lapdance is through the roof at BELAX compared to those other two, and that’s why it’s a better club to me.

Nidan1116 years ago

Huh. And I thought for sure you were describing Dollies in Washington Park, IL. Lol. JK

viking20126 years ago

Great writing Muddy but I'm disappointed that there's nothing like that going on in my part of the strip club universe.