I got to meet Nicespice 😝😁🤗

I got a call from the Golden Dragon club about the destroyed the golden throne in the girls shitter room. They was described the problem and I thought this had Crazyjoe written all over it.

I got a call from da BlahBlah about da Spicy and the broke shitter in the girls dressing room at the club and really wanted me to go and save wifey. She bribed me with some of her world famous home cooked brisket to keep me full for the long haul because she was happy I was going to save Spicey and all the Portland dancers. Because God Bless the Dancers!

I hopped in the shit truck and started heading to Portland and driving hard all night and eating delicious brisket. All I could figure is Crazyjoe's was cross dressing and snuck into the girls bathroom wearing a dress just to destroy that coveted golden throne shitter like a true pro he is. No time to think cuz I had a big job ahead of me! I was poundin the red bulls so hard because 4 Loco was out cuz I was driving fast like a banshee!

I thank I grew some chicken wings because I was flying by the time I got to Portland's. I got there all bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready for some shit work! The manager was outside yelling about the shitty mess when I got there and I could smell that familiar odor and it was go time! I stopped and said howdy for a split second while he shook my hand and told me how much he was grateful for me coming and I was recommended by one of the dancers! I heard one of the dancers was yelling about that God Dam Crazyjoe scared all the customers away again!

I had no time for this banter so I got to work hardcore! The girls bathroom was out in the front room and there was only one stall. This is why the broke shitter was such a problem. There was something mysterious about this shitter because there was no stall walls or door, just a curtain that someone tried to flush down the shitter! And on farther inspection the TP dispenser was empty and no rolls to be seen anywhere. Then I noticed there were skid marks all over the curtain and there was a broken plunger handle sticking out!. This was a wreck fo sho! This seemed like Crazyjoe topped all his past accomplishments in one stroke of Joe genius. I worked and worked hard all night and all day long until after the club was open and I got the finishing touches on the spic and span of the golden throne shitter finally!

I slept a few hours and I decided to go back in the wee hours of the morning and see what all this Golden Dragon fuss was all about. I walked in the place with my shit truck swagger in my brown The System suit looking GQ as fuck. I saw a girl on stage that looked like the one yelling about that dam Crazyjoe last night and knew it had to be the spice dancing on stage when I got there and she had the luxurious hair flowing like a dream and the titty poppin out of her top and I felt the stirring in da loinz. Spice was happy to see me and blah was happy she did not need to stab me because Mackie saves the day! We talked for a while about the looser hookah and puppies and and running through forests and and pokemons and vodka infused dranks, you know all the smart talk we could manage. I massaged her back and she did not moan no matter how hard I tried so she suggested seeing how good I was at getting dances. So off we go. I can't say what happened in the dances because I try my best to be a gentileman, 😀😀😀

Spice wanted to reward me the next day with some hookah leaf and said she would probably have the munchies too, so I suggested tacos. Even better I told her it was my treat on the tacos 🌮🌮🌮and I would cook them up myself as I am a secret hobbyist of the cooking and I figured I wanted to impress her with my novice chef skilz. I met up with her at a tree lined park and we smoked up the hookah leaf and we were blowing clouds mane. I had never done this sort of thing before, but she taught me the ways, so I was high as fuck and feeling like I was large and in charge! Then we both started running through the trees like the Tarzan show. We were both high as fuck so we started climbing trees and swinging around like monkeys... woo woo woo! That sexy hair was flowing as she swung from tree to tree effortlessly! I got that stirring in my loinz again and soon the munchies kicked in hard core

I found the charcoal brackets and fired up that grill. I whipped up those tacos and tostadas extra spicey style flipping spatulas and sipping home made delicious horchata 🍶🥛 We were going to infuse the horchata with vodka but all we had was Tequila so that would have to do. Dem tacos was gone in a flash and we sat back and sipped more horchata and exchanging war stories like we were old friends and we were living hard! the more we talked the more she did more smart talkin. She impresses me with her brainz and the boobies and I was in awe and she was saying smart talk I never even heard of because she is a college graduate. After a while she was hoppin around like hoppin Bob and I thought it was cute...
https://youtu.be/UQQzzcEwr78 start at 1:18...

Then she started running in a full on sprint like a problem just got real! Then I remembered passing the McDonald back in the direction she was running! Then I felt the rumbling in my loins and I knew I had to run like hell too! God dam right! I thank it was bad guacamole! Since I am a gentileman I will not give the details on this one either but, We were both up shits creek like Crazyjoe style! Shit, I dropped a business card on the McDonald floor on the way out to hopefully drum up more business! Hopefully Crazyjoe doesn't mind taking the blame for this shit show because I wrote Crazyjoe was here on the shitter stall door... lmfao! I hope the wifey with da knifey 🔪🔪🔪does not show up and stab 🔪🔪🔪 me for this taco shit fiasco! Blah already threatened once to bend me over and fuck me in the ass with a strap on 🍢 😣

On to the next shit show, and I do wish the NIce-n-Spice a good stay in Portland and good luck on your next road warrior adventure!

P.S. I may need to start a new chain to taco stands named Mackie's Taco Shits! I may be onto Crazyjoe's tricks of how he destroys all those shitters! What say you? Free tacos with da guacamole for everyone!