what's the best way to force a civilian chick to repay $ i loaned her

If you've already told her that you're willing to take very low payments as long as they're regular, and it hasn't worked, then she has probably made the decision to simply not pay you ever.

That narrows your options down to a lawsuit... or blackmail.

Or, reach out to a family member or good friend of hers that might be able to make an appeal on your behalf.

Often times people that need loans from a person are usually not in a position to repay the loan - i.e. w/e circumstances put them in that position to need the loan are often the same circumstances that prevent the peron from repaying that $$$ - if they didn't have $$$ then they usually don't have it in the future - not universal of course - there are people who repay their debts, and there are also people who cam repay bur don't want to.

When one lends $$$ to friends or family one should assume there's a high likelihood of not getting that $$$ back

This is why it's often a bad-idea to co-sign for cars loans or apartment leases

If it isn't in writing its a gift. Good luck trying to prove in Court you "loaned" a stripper money and quite frankly, the idea she offered you a writing and you said no means you fucked up and won't see much of it at all.

I never loan money that I cannot afford to lose.... after I loan it out I forget about it, I don't write it down, if it comes back then I'm surprised and happy

^ that’s correct, but she isn’t a stripper, I have employee ask for a loan occasionally they always must sign a loan repayment form, authorizing me to recover payment from their paycheck or they don’t get the loan.

She sounds like a stripper, not a civvie, although lately the differences are negligible.

again, she's not a stripper. she's a regular chick who's a classmate from highschool.

trust me, i knew by her asking me of all people for $, she's exhausted other outlets she had and hasn't repaid them. i knew going in i have zero chance of getting my $4,000 back. but i hoped i'd have a chance of reaping at least $500 back. i can't let her walk away after $100.

i'm just asking, is there a way to make someone act responsibly, even for a short while. no legal stuff. i want her to man up. i don't care if i don't get my $4,000 back. i want her to make regular payments of any kind of amount for like a regular 6 months. be responsible. she made to back-to-back payments of $50, then promptly quit. wow.

what kind of manipulation is there out there to make her be active and repay just a little more of this 4 stacks she owes so i can move on? is there a contest i can create for her or something?

man, i WISH it were a stripper who i loaned $4,000 to who was not repaying me. it's rougher when it's a classmate from high school. like, c'mon. i know you. we grew up together. please raise your dignity up. i guess that's what i want to see from her. she's not a drug addict. she's not homeless.

what's so ironic was the $4,000 was indirectly to help her get employment (taking classes towards a certificate, clear up tax debt she owed so she can get a full check.) so she got the certificate. she passed the class. the tax debt is now gone. it's been a year. she don't even have to repay the full $4,000 and i don't want sexual favors. just repay something. actively.

there's gotta be a good idea out there to get her to pay something. this repayment should not take forever.

There’s literally no way to force repayment legally maybe Bruno, will help out for a percentage.

That’s fucked up. She would make a good stripper.

No loan agreement, then it is a gift. You are relying on her to stand by her word to repay you, so seems you are screwed.

Maybe now it is time to see if she is willing to trade services to repay you the $4000. Then you will know for sure whether you have been taken or not.

A loan is a gift until it is repaid.

It seems like you will be lucky to get your money back.

I don't recommend lowering the debt as it may cause her to think you are willing to forgive the entre debt.

There is no way to go about this and be a nice guy, you will have to be come a real dick to even gave a chance.

You will have to border line harass her, along with her friends and family.

If any of her text messages use the Word loan you may have grounds for small claims, which bring a dick would mean advising her you plan on using that avenue.

Before I was married, my future wife wanted me to cosign on a car loan. Of course that idea was coming from the car dealer, scum of the earth.

I refused, she went really ballistic.

Finally I wrote her a check for $1000. This was long long ago. She was supposed to pay back $100 per month.

It worked with the car dealer, she got the loan and the car.

But she only made one monthly payment to me.

You don't loan money to intimate partner women, you just give it to them.

I watched a car mechanic try to get a BF to pay the repair bill. You watch out for that stuff. The BF refused, saying that he knew that if he did that he would never get the money back.

With a P4P girl you can just do more sessions with her and give he the money that way.

SJG

Don’t loan money to friends

gothamyte, I guess your just supposed to marry her.

SJG

“If it isn't in writing its a gift.“ That’s BS. If it was given based on her agreement to pay it back, it’s not a gift, it’s a loan, but it’s pretty difficult to prove an oral agreement. It’s just your word against hers, but I guess it doesn’t matter since you don’t want to take her to small claims court, which is the only way to force her to pay. There could be a Statute of Frauds issue also, but that depends on you state laws.

If there's a paper or electronic trail then U assume you may have a chance if you wanna force her hand - but it'll probably be long and drawn out as she likely doesn't have the $$$

Maybe you should just take her out to dinner, then she will really deliver.

SJG

Thinking about this, back in the early 80's, I was in a group, and someone was short on money to pay for a program. So the leader asked, "Who feels like being a sugar daddy?"

This is out of character for me, but I did stand up and come forward. The person in need was a young woman.

I think it was $400, back in the early 80's. But it was a loan and she was to pay me back within 4 months.

So I had a couple of phone calls with her, and she was nice looking and pleasant to talk with. She was having problems with her mom over money. She lived with her mom.

She was not really paying. So finally I got more direct, and she said, "Well how about we just go out to dinner?"

I was surprised by this. I was seeing someone. If I had wanted to go out with her I just would have asked her.

I told her know, that I wanted to be paid back as agreed.

So she did promptly repay me.

SJG

m.youtube.com

The one i gave the program money to, in the interveining time before she paid me back, she did take to wearing lots of make up. It had a dramatic effect on me. She said that she "upgraded her presentation".

In a lot of ways now I wish I had taken her out and just enjoyed her to the max. Probably could have kept going out with her quite a bit.

SJG

You're fucked

Forgive the debt. Forgive her. Move on with your life.

It's not worth the emotional price you will pay in futile attempt to get it back.

Accept that you were complicit in the loss. The lesson could potentially save you a fortune in the future.

If it's a gift, you can't get it back. If it's a loan, then repayment options and penalties should be in the signed agreement you made with her before loaning the money. If there is no signed agreement, then it's a gift and good luck proving otherwise.

I guess some of you people have never heard the term “hand shake deal,” which, if proven, is just as legally enforceable as a written deal, with some exceptions.

??

I’ve certainly made errors before of “loaning” out money—which instead turned into a gift. And people will go through all sorts of mental gymnastics to say they already paid you back or that somehow you were the one to screw them over somehow.

I’d say just cut your losses and move on with your life.

Either that or up yo pimp game and make her your ho. Make dat bitch pay you back by workin fo dat $$

Luckily TUSCL is the best place to get educated in these matters. 😀

Some oral agreements are enforceable, but this one is not proveable and if you can't prove she had to pay you back for the loan within a year, then the whole contract is out in this state as violative of the Statute of Frauds.

One time I was being a #RETARD and loaned out money. A friend had car troubles around the same time that family members were dealing with hurricane Harvey issues and his aunt got murdered and he was taking care of his mom. No intentional scamming there, cause from I could tell it was all true.

The agreement was to pay me back the $1000 still owed over the course of four months. Plus a little extra was going to be thrown in “as interest”—his initiative not mine.

Coincidentally, around the time I started dating my boyfriend (before he later left me for a pack of hombres later on) then suddenly he would have “personal issues” and yadda yadda and kept putting off meeting to give me my money.

THEN when he finally did it was “here is $150 and we are done”—$300 short of what was loaned (and forget about any interest $ at that point) and he did some weird denial of the fact he already paid me when he didn’t.

But I’m not much one to keep something going, so I let it go. He did something else douchy that was unrelated a month later, so I unfriended him on social media. And that was the end of that.

But then six months down the line, he loans out money (about $300) to my former roommate. And tells her initially she doesn’t have to pay him back. But then later decides she needs to do it and starts messaging her on that? He certainly spent more time heckling her than I did him.

I told her that she doesn’t owe him shit. But if she feels bad, then hand the money to me. She lied and told him she gave me the money.

And THEN that’s when he messaged me on both Facebook and text wanting to “talk it over” Not back then. Not when I unfriended him. Lol seriously. All over $300.

Gotta love karma 😂

There's always Judge Judy.

Hindsight is 20/20. I don't think you're going to get your money back.

On a personal level, I never make loans. I only give gifts. Even if the person insists that it's a loan and they'll pay it back, I'll state that I'm treating it like a gift. If they get money to me, I'll accept it, but I'm not counting on it. That way I can't be disappointed when I don't get paid back.

And, as has been stated previously, I don't give away money that I can't afford to lose entirely.

Sorry that there's no easy solution here.

i rarely loan money to anyone anymore for this specific reason.

it's gone.

Kick her in the nuts

got,

I can put you in touch with an acquaintance of mine, Luigi. Guaranteed she'll "pay"!

i’ve been burned a few times trying to help somebody out. One guy has paid back $350 of 1000... and a stripper friend has paid back 500 of 3500. both of been about five years late in paying me back fully. yeah... unless you have paper on the loan... you’re screwed.

dang. icey. I have to agree with you again.

If you want to pursue something getting a recorded acknowledgment of a debt is useful. Even them acknowledging in a text while saying they don’t have the cash is useful if you did decide to take legal action. A verbal agreement would be valid. The problem is if you can’t prove the verbal agreement exists.

“Under $5K, itll definitely be more expensive trying to get it back even if you could.” Wrong. That’s what small claims courts are for.

There is no way that YOU can make HER responsible. She is who she is. You also cannot make her pay you back. Just accept it for what it is and move on. You gave a friend money to help out. End of story unless you don’t mind loosing a friendship, you should let it go. I have done this many times and still do. I only give money and cars and homes to friends and family; I never loan it because I know that it will never be paid back.

As others have said, you could probably kiss that money goodbye. Itbis good advice to never loan money to family or friends. If I do loan money to people close to me I usually don't expect it back from the start. That way I am not disappointed.

Money makes people funny

I wouldn't worry about the friendship of someone actively trying to cheat me. I would try taking a firmer stance, even if it was just a bluff. Insist she sign a loan agreement with a $20 per week payback interest free. Hell, she probably spends that on Starbucks. Tell her if she refuses, your options are small claims court; or that you are going to file a 1099C and that the loan forgiveness will count as $4k additional income this year cutting into her refund check. Let her know she has three choices: pay you, pay the courts and you, or pay the IRS. A bluff is worth a try, but yeah, you're probably just going to have to eat in the end.

is she good looking at all? i'd say once a week every week she has to get you off until you finally get sick of her. because at this point in time that is the only way she can offer anything as payback, unless she wins a powerball or something. dude, 4 grand-whay were you thinking?

With the one I gave the program money to, I was not in any way looking at her via sexual interest. I did though see her as honest.

In the end she did prove to be, repaying me in full as agreed.

It was only after she "upgraded her presentation", going to high heels and stripper grade makeup, that I started to feel sexual attraction to her.

And it is only thinking about this now, that I have begun to think about what it would have been like if I had perused a sexual relationship with her, making her into my "Sugar Baby" or "Semi-Pro", and probably supplying more money.

Wasn't thinking like this back then, I was seeing someone else, letting myself be effectively locked down via monogamy.

SJG