@Clubber, I pretty much agree with Gamma's essentials but I would use the term "level of contact" in place of "mileage" or "extras." It's not subjective to state whether I was allowed to touch a dancer anywhere vs. having to sit on my hands.
I don't see how quantity can be subjective, considering every review requires selecting from a set range of options. (Just saying "there were a lot of girls" is vague but I assume that's why @Founder put the set ranges in).
Quality, both of the dancers and the club/overall experience, is inherently subjective to some extent but the whole point of writing a meaningful review is to give enough information that someone else reading the review has a clear impression of what to expect.
The bottom line to me is people need to write better, more substantive reviews for them to serve their intended purpose. Saying "Club looks same as always, beers were cheap, got a deal on dances with my hot favorite" just shouldn't cut it.