She was just not a partner, only interested in external appearances and what outside people think. Never actually recognized me as a legitimate human being.
Marriage should, in my opinion, but outlawed by SCOTUS, violates 14 Amendment.
My ex got mad at me for watching the playboy channel. Kicked my ass out of the house, drained all money from bank, canceled all credit cards and informed me that my twin girls were not actually mine (turned out to be a lie, but it fucking hurt). She eventually took me back in only to hurt me again. This time, she waited for me to fall asleep, then she pulled me out of bed by my cock. She grabbed my cock and fucking pulled me onto the floor. It fucking hurt then, but I almost thank her now because It literally gave me another inch and a half length to beat off with. After pulling me onto the floor by my cock, she kicked me out again. I basically lived on the fucking street in my car for 30 days until I could make money to rent a hotel room since she had all cards canceled and all my money removed from bank. I decided not to go back after that.
She was/is a very beautiful woman with a very materialistic self centered attitude. It pissed her off that I watched titties on TV. She looked like Jaquelyn Smith with DDD tits. I fucking hate her now.
I did not anticipate the future issue because I was in awe struck blinding love with her.
So, I moved on. Now, I am married to a very beautiful woman 20 years younger than I am. She makes 6 figure income, doesn’t care about my Pervert behavior because she has hers as well. She does not need me, yet she chooses me. She was engaged to get married when we met and I learned that her fiancé was using her as his “meal ticket”. She was too nice for an ass like that so I stole her away. That was 10 years ago and I absolutely love everything about her.
My ex-wife was very jealous and totally insecure with what I felt for her. At 32 years of marriage she acused me of seeing another woman. (which was not true.) but by that time I had my fill of her bitchiness. I said no more and I left.
I was married for 25 years very happy and we had no fights. Out of the blue she decided she wanted a divorce. She was a very beautiful lady and it broke my heart. I moved on and am married to a younger woman who is wonderful!
^^^^Yup. The person I never would have expected it from did it to me. And that’s why I’m done with relationships. I trust no one except my kids. And I am perfectly content to pay for pussy the rest of my life with no strings attached and no drama.
I don't know what it is with women that makes them snap like that. They can be with you for years, you can give them the world and treat them like queens, and they still manage to fuck up. And they never end up with something better...
Been married twice. I never cheated and neither did they. I used to think I was attracted to the feisty spitfire types, but apparently I am just drawn to insecure bipolar types. Gave away half my shit twice, I will never marry again. Falling in love is easy. Staying in love has eluded me.
I'm at the point most of my buddies have kids in elementary school and are done having new babies and have been married between 5 and 15 years and there is a big trend towards separations and divorces.
Often times it's death by a million papercuts. Sometimes someone falls in love with someone else; one of my friends got totally blindsided when his wife he adored left him for another man. But it's often years of little sex and not much positive interaction that doesn't involve the kids.
Kids really erode marriages. They make finances worse and take a lot of time and energy away from the relationship. None of my childfree friends have split up yet.
With my ex, it was simply that she used the marriage as a weapon. She did not do this when we were dating. No way she could have.
Marriage is an intense legal and moral entanglement. Once that was established she weaponized it.
I saw partnership as the answer, but she would never make even a single more in that direction, no matter for how long I held out the olive branch.
I don't hold this against her, I don't hate her. But I don't think I am ever going to allow her to see the sight of my face ever again. She tried to come back into this area a couple of years ago. I posted about this. I cut off contact with her. She had no way of finding me.
All I allow her is email, and that is non responsive. I mean, it is just news announcements. I do not allow her to interrogate me.
I mean it, marriage should be outlawed.
I am building a counter cultural organization, only for an elect few, but for us it will replace marriage with something infinitely better.
Nidian, sorry to hear that things went so badly for you. Never would have imagined such.
Marriage can destroy a life.
Nicole, I have started other threads, asking who would go through it again, if they were young. A surprising number said, yes, but I find their answers to be illogical.
I'm still trying to understand what happened in my marriage.
For one thing, at even the preschool age I had largely rejected the moral authority of both of my parents, and then claimed for myself the moral high ground. So in large measure I have raised myself.
And where do I tend to find those who seem to think like me? I find it in some of dancers at strip clubs. Two come to mind right off that I hit it off with right away. Turned out that they had each run away from home at aound 12 or 13yo, and then actually done pretty well.
I did not run away or anything like that, but I never saw anything my parents said or did as having any kind of a moral basis.
So yes, you could say that I saw myself as being used, being exploited, in order to keep the externals of a marriage going. Everyday still, I see this as being more so, and being endemic in our society, usually the norm.
I just started to see it at a young age.
So in intimate relationships and marriages of my own, I was certainly not going to let anything like that happen.
Of my ex-wife, I had noticed that when ever her family members are together, it is the women who run things, the men are very passive. I am sure that these men would not admit that, but that is how I see it.
I would not ever be willing to allow much of that in my life.
Once talking with some hispanic friends, about a family reunion some people held in a public park, I commented, "That sort of stuff, it gives women too much power, and there is no other reason for it."
Generally I am better in f2f conversation with people 1 on 1, not in groups.
And I like intense sexual intimacy.
But otherwise I see no real reasons to make accommodations to familial groupings, tending to favor highly intellectual conversations over common sorts, easily getting tiered out if I have to deal with common groupings.
And post divorce, what is different is just that I am not even willing to attempt to placate people. I have my own stuff which I want to do, and which I am going to do.
Family events? How many hours of good reading time would that waste?
I think prior to marriage, my would be wife was on her very best behavior, and maybe she saw that I could not be pushed around like the men in her family seem to get. But she thought after marriage that she would have the ultimate whip to crack and that she could break me. No, I would not allow that, I knew that I had to defend what defensible boundaries I still had.
I think just as a child, having to defend myself against my mother, it meant that I became different from other people who did not do that.
Bye the time I graduated from high school, though still quite inexperienced when it came to women, I still had been through enough that I knew that some things were really wrong about gender relations, and I knew that marriage was basically a death trap.
So that does not mean that one might not someday marry, but it will then be for practical reasons. The idea that marriage is in and of itself an ideal, that was something I would never go along with.
My wife was maybe a bit like me in thinking that way. But she still seemed to have fantasies and ideals, even though they contradicted all her own life experience, and the experience of everyone she knew.
So I wanted her to be a partner, but she never seemed to even understand that. I wanted the marriage to be inner directed. She wanted it to be outer directed, and that meant subordinate to her friends and family.
So then of course this would never work.
She was not like this before we were married. It was only after we were married that she felt she then had the kinds of power which she could use to enforce her will.
I had to learn then to endure rage which went on for days at a time and was designed to prevent sleeping. I survived a nightmare.
I still say of my ex, she is not bad, and I am not bad. But marriage is horrid. It just carries too much baggage with it. It makes both parties subject to outside coercion.
21 comments
Marriage should, in my opinion, but outlawed by SCOTUS, violates 14 Amendment.
SJG
Stephan Hoeller
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj5QW8vc…
# top od my class
Cruz Reynoso: Sowing the Seeds of Justice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPZLKpqF…
Sidney Poitier portraying Thurgood Marshall, Dir George Stevens Jr., son of the highly acclaimed director George Stevens.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbCNRCrd…
Here is the full movie:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGMSf87h…
Richard Kiley ... Chief Justice Earl Warren
Mike Nussbaum ... Justice Felix Frankfurter
SJG
She was/is a very beautiful woman with a very materialistic self centered attitude. It pissed her off that I watched titties on TV. She looked like Jaquelyn Smith with DDD tits. I fucking hate her now.
I did not anticipate the future issue because I was in awe struck blinding love with her.
So, I moved on. Now, I am married to a very beautiful woman 20 years younger than I am. She makes 6 figure income, doesn’t care about my Pervert behavior because she has hers as well. She does not need me, yet she chooses me. She was engaged to get married when we met and I learned that her fiancé was using her as his “meal ticket”. She was too nice for an ass like that so I stole her away. That was 10 years ago and I absolutely love everything about her.
Who said u have to do that
Often times it's death by a million papercuts. Sometimes someone falls in love with someone else; one of my friends got totally blindsided when his wife he adored left him for another man. But it's often years of little sex and not much positive interaction that doesn't involve the kids.
Kids really erode marriages. They make finances worse and take a lot of time and energy away from the relationship. None of my childfree friends have split up yet.
Car Keys and Wallet Dating
https://www.tuscl.net/app/discussion.php…
With my ex, it was simply that she used the marriage as a weapon. She did not do this when we were dating. No way she could have.
Marriage is an intense legal and moral entanglement. Once that was established she weaponized it.
I saw partnership as the answer, but she would never make even a single more in that direction, no matter for how long I held out the olive branch.
I don't hold this against her, I don't hate her. But I don't think I am ever going to allow her to see the sight of my face ever again. She tried to come back into this area a couple of years ago. I posted about this. I cut off contact with her. She had no way of finding me.
All I allow her is email, and that is non responsive. I mean, it is just news announcements. I do not allow her to interrogate me.
I mean it, marriage should be outlawed.
I am building a counter cultural organization, only for an elect few, but for us it will replace marriage with something infinitely better.
SJG
King Crimson - Live in Hyde Park (1969) - Complete Performance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiA_q-Kf…
Marriage can destroy a life.
Nicole, I have started other threads, asking who would go through it again, if they were young. A surprising number said, yes, but I find their answers to be illogical.
I'm still trying to understand what happened in my marriage.
For one thing, at even the preschool age I had largely rejected the moral authority of both of my parents, and then claimed for myself the moral high ground. So in large measure I have raised myself.
And where do I tend to find those who seem to think like me? I find it in some of dancers at strip clubs. Two come to mind right off that I hit it off with right away. Turned out that they had each run away from home at aound 12 or 13yo, and then actually done pretty well.
I did not run away or anything like that, but I never saw anything my parents said or did as having any kind of a moral basis.
So yes, you could say that I saw myself as being used, being exploited, in order to keep the externals of a marriage going. Everyday still, I see this as being more so, and being endemic in our society, usually the norm.
I just started to see it at a young age.
So in intimate relationships and marriages of my own, I was certainly not going to let anything like that happen.
Of my ex-wife, I had noticed that when ever her family members are together, it is the women who run things, the men are very passive. I am sure that these men would not admit that, but that is how I see it.
I would not ever be willing to allow much of that in my life.
Once talking with some hispanic friends, about a family reunion some people held in a public park, I commented, "That sort of stuff, it gives women too much power, and there is no other reason for it."
Generally I am better in f2f conversation with people 1 on 1, not in groups.
And I like intense sexual intimacy.
But otherwise I see no real reasons to make accommodations to familial groupings, tending to favor highly intellectual conversations over common sorts, easily getting tiered out if I have to deal with common groupings.
And post divorce, what is different is just that I am not even willing to attempt to placate people. I have my own stuff which I want to do, and which I am going to do.
Family events? How many hours of good reading time would that waste?
I think prior to marriage, my would be wife was on her very best behavior, and maybe she saw that I could not be pushed around like the men in her family seem to get. But she thought after marriage that she would have the ultimate whip to crack and that she could break me. No, I would not allow that, I knew that I had to defend what defensible boundaries I still had.
I think just as a child, having to defend myself against my mother, it meant that I became different from other people who did not do that.
SJG
So that does not mean that one might not someday marry, but it will then be for practical reasons. The idea that marriage is in and of itself an ideal, that was something I would never go along with.
My wife was maybe a bit like me in thinking that way. But she still seemed to have fantasies and ideals, even though they contradicted all her own life experience, and the experience of everyone she knew.
So I wanted her to be a partner, but she never seemed to even understand that. I wanted the marriage to be inner directed. She wanted it to be outer directed, and that meant subordinate to her friends and family.
So then of course this would never work.
She was not like this before we were married. It was only after we were married that she felt she then had the kinds of power which she could use to enforce her will.
I had to learn then to endure rage which went on for days at a time and was designed to prevent sleeping. I survived a nightmare.
I still say of my ex, she is not bad, and I am not bad. But marriage is horrid. It just carries too much baggage with it. It makes both parties subject to outside coercion.
Good Thread!
SJG
Stephan Hoeller: Hermeticism and Gnosticism---Volume 1: Part 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5Svff9P…
Thread Location Assistance
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