Yes Nichole, you can pay for dinner, but the guy might have felt that in declaring that you were rebuking him. So I guess that took the wind out of his sails, so to speak. You have the right to do what you want. To me it sounds like a tense date, and you sound to me rather immature.
Usually college students live in more liberal ways. But post college people tend to become more conservative, and so just like with Car Keys and Wallet Dates becoming more the norm than Hook Up's, guys become more likely to be paying.
If the guy really seemed to want to pay, maybe better to let him?
If you want to pay or pay half, maybe better to say that when you first accept?
From my perspective, if it is a real "date", then I would be expecting to pay and generally planning on getting the girl into bed ASAP. Saving the money by letting her pay is of zero importance. And at this point in my life, I would try to steer it so that subsequent meetings are just beddings.
Once I listened to a young woman go on and on in front of a group about how she does not want guys to pay, saying repeatedly, "I am not a prostitute".
All I can say is that people are entitled to their views, and that our society has lots of rules and common practices, but they can be altered.
If I took her out, I would not consider that she was a prostitute. I would be expecting to pay, but it does not have to go that way. If I went to the trouble of asking her out, my intent would be to get her into bed ASAP, but without pressuring her.
With girls say a little bit more experienced, I would say that on a first date they let the guy pay and then they do spread their legs.
In some cases they are even more aggressive, like calling me up about 9pm and saying, "I'm coming over", and that overnighter being our first date. So it all depends.
And then when it really is P4P, the velocity and expectation that the guy pays for everything are even higher.
7 comments
Buy me dinner.
If I am pleased with dinner, later we can go to your place and I’ll glue you to your coffee table.
Usually college students live in more liberal ways. But post college people tend to become more conservative, and so just like with Car Keys and Wallet Dates becoming more the norm than Hook Up's, guys become more likely to be paying.
If the guy really seemed to want to pay, maybe better to let him?
If you want to pay or pay half, maybe better to say that when you first accept?
From my perspective, if it is a real "date", then I would be expecting to pay and generally planning on getting the girl into bed ASAP. Saving the money by letting her pay is of zero importance. And at this point in my life, I would try to steer it so that subsequent meetings are just beddings.
Once I listened to a young woman go on and on in front of a group about how she does not want guys to pay, saying repeatedly, "I am not a prostitute".
All I can say is that people are entitled to their views, and that our society has lots of rules and common practices, but they can be altered.
If I took her out, I would not consider that she was a prostitute. I would be expecting to pay, but it does not have to go that way. If I went to the trouble of asking her out, my intent would be to get her into bed ASAP, but without pressuring her.
With girls say a little bit more experienced, I would say that on a first date they let the guy pay and then they do spread their legs.
In some cases they are even more aggressive, like calling me up about 9pm and saying, "I'm coming over", and that overnighter being our first date. So it all depends.
And then when it really is P4P, the velocity and expectation that the guy pays for everything are even higher.
SJG
Alvin Lee – The Bluest Blues
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rB6OlJqV…