SB Meeting Place

I always think it's a good idea to listen to your gut. Unless your gut it being a little neurotic, which in this case it might be. My "dates" with my SB always involve some partying first, then head to a hotel for the sex -- at least for the first month or three. After that, if my gut feels good about her, her background otherwise checks out -- she's a regular girl who needs some help -- I'm fine switching to one of our places (if she's a stripper, it takes much much longer). I do not mind going an extra month or two seeing her at a hotel, if I need it to feel okay; saving the hotel fee isn't worth peace of mind or my safety. Frankly, the main reason to go to her place instead of a hotel is because it's more fun and relaxed, with less logistics; if it'st less fun and less relaxed to be at her place, I'd rather stay with the hotel.

In short: don't be neurotic, but also don't be such a short-sighted git that the hotel cost becomes a motivator for less-than-smart behavior.

That's a soul read my friend. Only you can tell if you have any kind of social barometer. But if you are asking here and are nervous you are about to get bombarded with WTF is wrong with you it should be in a neutral place.

@Subraman Excellent advice on looking from the comfort factor perspective. Honestly, I'm more comfortable at hotels for various reasons. I know that the bed, sheets, bathroom and linens would be cleaner, easier access to hotel bar, hotel security etc.

@Uprightcitizen I have known her for 4 months. She has been no non sense, no drama, NSA type SB. The arrangement is going just the way I like it. So, I might switch back to a neutral place to make it more comfortable for me.

It's been 3.5yrs and I hardly every use hotels. Almost always my place, and I really enjoy hosting. I do screen carefully upfront, and I've never had even a hint of blackmail. I guess it only takes one psycho to fuck up your marriage, but I think blackmail is very rare. That's from my own experience and reading online.

The whole point of sugaring is to find sane, responsible, girls that you can trust. My current is 21, blonde, and models swimwear part time. She's also in school, pre-pharmacy.

I think you're overthinking the situation

Can you be blackmailed, sure - is it likely, not really - always kosher to minimize risks if possible, just look at the hotel as part of doing business - and you can put a positive spin on it by looking at it that at least you can afford the hotel (I assume).

It is not uncommon for one to have apprehensions when one is new at something - at least it's usually inexperienced newbies that often have the fears - but still not necessarily kosher to let one's guard down

BTW - not to give you any more scary-cat food for thought, but her recording you is not the only risk - i.e. if you're leaving any kinda electronic or paper trail, then you're leaving the bread-crumbs to possibly be tracked down per se - e.g. hotel-rental/credit-card charges, emails, texts, etc - there are also ways to minimize this but that's kinda beyond my expertise

For many guys, a reason of concern about going to their place is possibly getting set up to be robbed by a possible thug/criminal BF, and it getting worst than that - but that can also happen in a hotel room -again not likely but ...

If she doesn't have access to your personal information, how would she blackmail you? You made both statements in the same post, seems far-fetched so you're either have extremely high paranoia or lack some comprehension about your situation.

If I were you I would be more concerned about:

- Your phone's GPS history
- Going back to your wife smelling anything like this girl - her perfume, soap of choice, that sort of thing
- Message and communication traces
- Anything that might get on your clothes that would be hard to explain
- The mileage on your car always being some specific amount greater than your commute back & forth to work and where you tell your wife you've been

One guy I know who is on SA was blackmailed for like $500 after she stalked him and called his home phone number. Fortunately his wife did not pick up before he did. He was also lucky it was such a modest sum.

The lesson for him was making himself more anonymous of course. His security was sloppy which included using his actual cell phone number.

I don't think blackmail, stalking, being set up for robbery/assault happens terribly often -- but it DOES happen. Don't overblow the risk, but don't sleepwalk through life, either.

Idk random. For married guys, beyond just the blackmail risk, there are also the issues of discretion and basic respect. I wouldn't give a shit if I was single, but I would never dream of banging one of these chicks in my marital home. Some things should just be sacred.

Meet the hooker wherever you feel the most comfortable doing it.

Really some great points from the experts here. Thanks for the insights! I think I'm going to go back to hotel atleast for another month or two, not because I don't trust this SB but just for my peace of mind!

@papi_chula You are right. I need to more careful with credit card statement and emails and calendar reminders. One time I was almost got caught with a calendar reminder for a hotel checkin. Google started doing that shit by reading through my email.

@JeffTuscl GPS location history is a good one. I haven't thought about it so thanks. I think I'm covered from other angles.

Thanks again everyone!

Here's a recent discussion about a guy dealing with an extortion attempt by his SB:

https://tinyurl.com/yblwsuat

The OP sounds a little "green" and naive, but I think some of the advice is helpful. If I were ever threatened with extortion, I would document everything and make it clear to her that she's committing a felony. Then I would cut off all contact.

I've met at SB's place of resident more than a few times. Even spent the night a few times.

Like others have said prior I wouldn't do it if you are getting a gut feeling not to do so. I tend to trust my instincts and for the most part they don't let me down.

The other side to this of course is if you are uneasy chances are she is going to pick up on it as well and there is no sense creating drama if it isn't necessary.