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Last night I was "that guy"

grand1511

Euphoria

Such a strange, crazy trip at the club last night.

Started out with no door guy at the register upon my arrival. As I waited for him to show up, I notice a stack of business cards on the counter. Thinking they might be free passes or discount offers I take a closer look: Bank's Bail Bonds. Hmmm, I know the club has been sliding downhill, but really?

Finally get in and grab a seat. My CF is on stage tearing it up for a bachelor party. Kind of fun to watch from a distance. Then I notice the guy at the table next to me. He's the trivia king at my neighborhood Buffalo Wild Wings. His screen name is ALLBUG but I have no idea who he really is. We've probably only had a couple passing comments in the several years I've been a semi-regular there. The weird thing, he's always playing the video trivia games with 2 other guys and they'll each have two or three game controllers to be playing multiple games simultaneously. His name is all over the top of the leaderboards between trivia rounds....a real savant.

CF finishes on stage but is drafted into taking the bachelor back to the couches for a few dances. She sees me, nods on her way back and I know I'm on her radar. Trivia Dude (TD) keeps nervously looking back into the couch area like Barney Fife.

She finally finishes and comes right to my table. It had been a few months since we had connected. Part of the problem was that one of her fake boobs had popped and she was out of action for 6 weeks getting it fixed and recovering. She tells me the full story. I update her on my much less dramatic recent life. The whole time she's leaning in on me, rubbing those new titties on my arm...I've got a hand on her knee. And TD is going bonkers...up and down out of his seat. Pacing occasionally behind us. I'm getting the vibe that he really wants a dance from her. CF actually excuses herself to go to the dressing room for a bit. The woman who sells dancer wear had just rolled her rack of goods back there. 10-15 minutes CF comes back to my table and we both know it's time for dances. I see TD stressing out more as we head back. Did 5-6 dances plus ample chit chat while we were back there....when we head back to my table and CF gives me a hug & a kiss while TD is blatantly watching us. She heads back to dressing room to freshen up.

My mission was accomplished, but I decide to stick around to see how this all plays out for TD. When CF comes back out she strategically works the room to avoid hi's table. She wrangles up a few more dances from other customers and every time she's back on the couches, TD is up and down from his chair, continually looking into the couch room. It's getting creepy now. When she would come out, he'd jump from his table to try to cross paths with her but she would always deflect making contact.

I finally left knowing that on this night in this strip club with this dancer, my name was on the virtual leaderboard and TD was scrambling to catch up. (If you made it all this way, thanks for reading...this is the only crowd I know that could possibly appreciate this story.)