What The Fuck 4Got2Wipe!?!?!?!?

You would have to be laying on the ground - wrapped in bacon - to get mauled by dachshunds!

A slow walk in the other direction is a useful defense for a dachshund attack.

I like that the page asks how you feel about the article - and one option is hilarious!

Yeaa! ddfnetworkvr.com

If you wrap yourself in bacon I’m willing to bet Juice would maul you to death as well.

Juice starts salivating just reading the b-a-c-o -

Sorry - now Juice needs a nap - and a wet nap!

How embarrassing to be the sheriffs deputy who felt so threatened by a weiner dog that he had to shoot and kill it.

A few comments:

First, little 4got is now walking around the house like he owns the place. He just gave me a look that is no doubt similar to the lion's. Sort of a "give me a new chew bone or it is wildebeest time!"

Second, why did that article not have a click box to vote "brilliant"?

Finally, I'm going to print up a sign saying "this house protected by a killer dog" with a silhouette of a doxie. That'll scare any criminals!

When you take him out you may wanna put one of those muzzle cages on him.

Ban all Dachsunds

I always wondered what the terror dog of the ‘10s decade would be. Dobies, Shepherds, Rotties, Pits, now it’s Doxies’ turn. Sounds about right.

Dominic77 - you can see the outlier in that scenario. The killer dog with legs the length of Vienna sausages!