Guys with SO who are in the dark about your clubbing, what efforts do you go to to keep your habit a secret? In a previous thread I exposed how far I will go to keep the secret. How about you guys?
a. Never go when you're going to be in close contact with SO without being able to shower and change clothes beforehand.
b. Don't let SO wash clothes.
c. Don't use personal phone or anything that can be traced to you personally. Be an internet ghost to make stalking harder.
d. Don't use social media to stalk dancers...you will end up in their "people you may know" list eventually, along with your photo.
e. Don't give dancers any reason to seek you (tell them you have a good job, piss them off after establishing relationship, etc.)
I am usually away on work when I am clubbing so the prep is minimal but...
1. Sometimes I have to get a hotel somewhere I shouldn’t be so I use my own credit card which only “me” has acccess to the online only bill.
2. I go to casinos so clothes smelling like smoke is not uncommon, what is uncommon is my clothes smelling like stripper perfume. When I get home from a trip I immediately do the laundry (not unusual for me to do my own laundry). If you’re in a pinch, rub your sweaty gym clothes against those clothes or spray your clothes with some body spray. Cheap body spray will do wonders versus real cologne which can sometimes bring out the stripper perfume even more instead of masking it.
3. Don’t give out the regular phone number. Back in the day I used to be careless with giving my real business cell phone number out since I have probably have close to 500 business contacts in my phone and it rings all times of the day and night. All was fine until some dumb stripper started txting every Friday and Saturday night that she was working and to come visit her to every single contact in her phone. Think blocking her solved the problem? She got 3 new numbers in the next 2 months and pulled the same thing each time!
4. Lastly planning a weekend with your DS? Have a single or divorced buddy as a back up alibi. Preferring that he doesn’t live in your same town so there’s no way in hell he could run into your SO.
When I was married I did layer upon layer of security :)
Base principles:
- Always have a change of clothes.
- At minimum, wash arms, face, and neck with soap and water before you get home. Preferably, take a shower.
- Have a 2nd line -- there's tradeoffs of hobby phone vs 2nd line app on your main phone. For me, best answer is solidly 2nd line app, but for others, hobby phone
- Always have a reason for being in the general area of the strip club. If you get into an accident, or a red light camera snaps your picture, or whatever, there should be no surprise that you were where you were. Reasons could include: I go to the city for work, once a month my buddy who lives in the city and I go to happy hour together, etc.
Layer examples:
- She looks in your car and sees the change of clothes. WTF do you have a change of clothes in your car? Answer: it's in my gym bag, and she knows I go to the gym, and my gym bag is always in my trunk. I have gym clothes in my gym bag, in case I go to the gym from work and need to change. And I have regular clothes in my gym bag, in case I go to the gym straight from home, and then need to shower and change into work clothes after my workout.
Overall, I'd have an explanation for things like: why were you in the city on Thursday? Why do you have a change of clothes in your car? Why do you have a 2nd phone?
I agree with rh48r. Your best bet is to not have a serious SO if you are going to be a dedicated clubber. Because getting caught is almost impossible to recover from. I say this from first hand experience...
Never really did anything other than not tell her. I was around women in my work, so smell was not an issue. She knew co-workers and I would meet after work at times.
She even went to clubs with me about 3 or 4 times. But also, like shai, above, I was also out of town working sort of often.
My wife knows I go to clubs but doesn't push the issue to find out, so I am like Clubber and just keep it low key. I go to the club after work and it is on the way home, so no issue there. If I go on the weekend I either also go to work or play golf or "run errands" in addition to stopping by a club. Basically I always have a cover activity tied to my visits.
In my car I always have my strip club clothes which I change in and out of before and after a visit. I wash the pants myself but the shirts and underwear I throw in the laundry like all other clothes.
On the way home from the club I will sometimes wash up at a gas station or store bathroom.
I also don't text with my strippers or exchange any personal info or share social media accounts. I do have pics of my ATF DS on my phone, though.
I've been caught and busted several times over the course of my marriage and we are still going strong in that regard, so I mostly just don't bring attention to it rather than outright hide it. It usually just ends with my wife giving me the "stink eye" and a guilt trip. She mostly turns a blind eye to it because she knows I have the sexual appetite of a nymphomaniac compared to her. She just doesn't want me having actual sex with other women, so she mostly ignores the issue. She recently found and saw all my pictures of my ATF DS on my phone and just said, "You know I can see all your pictures on your phone!" But then she left it at that.
Also every now and then (like once a year) she gets a little tipsy and gets in the mood to go to a club with me. LOL I always choose a club that I don't regularly visit. Also my CFs/ATFs always promise to pretend not to know me if they see me IRL.
I have that one advantage you don't. The clothes issue. When working, I was around women all the time, often in close proximity. So never an issue with smelling like perfume. The one time I saw a regular outside the club, she just said I and I returned it. Wife didn't ask, but to cover, I just told her she was a customer. As for my phone, no issue as it is always with me. She has one but never uses it other then if I call her when I am not at home.
I sneak around going to SC out of respect for my wife. She's not stupid and can probably smell the alcohol and other women after my visit. I get home at a reasonable hour and try not to be too blount about my dirty habits.
Forgot to mention, that was when I was working. Since I had to retire and take care of my wife, going clubbing is nearly impossible. Only been about 3 times in over a year. Hope to meet up with vincemichaels tomorrow for a bit.
@Clubber That is cool that you balanced your clubbing with time for your wife. That is what I'm committed to as well. I don't allow my clubbing (or porn watching) to interfere or affect my sex life with my wife and also my everyday responsibilities. And because of it, my wife puts up with it.
Also I think one thing that plays to my favor is that my father-in-law was also a married PL monger in his day and my wife knew that about him, so she is a little more tolerant of it.
I take her with me when we are together and she knows I go alone or with buds when we are not. Fortunate for me she is into it..... only bad thing is when we are together she gets all the attention.... which isn't all that bad... especially later.
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a. Never go when you're going to be in close contact with SO without being able to shower and change clothes beforehand.
b. Don't let SO wash clothes.
c. Don't use personal phone or anything that can be traced to you personally. Be an internet ghost to make stalking harder.
d. Don't use social media to stalk dancers...you will end up in their "people you may know" list eventually, along with your photo.
e. Don't give dancers any reason to seek you (tell them you have a good job, piss them off after establishing relationship, etc.)
1. Sometimes I have to get a hotel somewhere I shouldn’t be so I use my own credit card which only “me” has acccess to the online only bill.
2. I go to casinos so clothes smelling like smoke is not uncommon, what is uncommon is my clothes smelling like stripper perfume. When I get home from a trip I immediately do the laundry (not unusual for me to do my own laundry). If you’re in a pinch, rub your sweaty gym clothes against those clothes or spray your clothes with some body spray. Cheap body spray will do wonders versus real cologne which can sometimes bring out the stripper perfume even more instead of masking it.
3. Don’t give out the regular phone number. Back in the day I used to be careless with giving my real business cell phone number out since I have probably have close to 500 business contacts in my phone and it rings all times of the day and night. All was fine until some dumb stripper started txting every Friday and Saturday night that she was working and to come visit her to every single contact in her phone. Think blocking her solved the problem? She got 3 new numbers in the next 2 months and pulled the same thing each time!
4. Lastly planning a weekend with your DS? Have a single or divorced buddy as a back up alibi. Preferring that he doesn’t live in your same town so there’s no way in hell he could run into your SO.
2. Divorce Lawyer
As of today you won't find many of these dancing in strip clubs. This is why we need to start a fund, and send some of these girls to schools.
SJG
Base principles:
- Always have a change of clothes.
- At minimum, wash arms, face, and neck with soap and water before you get home. Preferably, take a shower.
- Have a 2nd line -- there's tradeoffs of hobby phone vs 2nd line app on your main phone. For me, best answer is solidly 2nd line app, but for others, hobby phone
- Always have a reason for being in the general area of the strip club. If you get into an accident, or a red light camera snaps your picture, or whatever, there should be no surprise that you were where you were. Reasons could include: I go to the city for work, once a month my buddy who lives in the city and I go to happy hour together, etc.
Layer examples:
- She looks in your car and sees the change of clothes. WTF do you have a change of clothes in your car? Answer: it's in my gym bag, and she knows I go to the gym, and my gym bag is always in my trunk. I have gym clothes in my gym bag, in case I go to the gym from work and need to change. And I have regular clothes in my gym bag, in case I go to the gym straight from home, and then need to shower and change into work clothes after my workout.
Overall, I'd have an explanation for things like: why were you in the city on Thursday? Why do you have a change of clothes in your car? Why do you have a 2nd phone?
She even went to clubs with me about 3 or 4 times. But also, like shai, above, I was also out of town working sort of often.
In my car I always have my strip club clothes which I change in and out of before and after a visit. I wash the pants myself but the shirts and underwear I throw in the laundry like all other clothes.
On the way home from the club I will sometimes wash up at a gas station or store bathroom.
I also don't text with my strippers or exchange any personal info or share social media accounts. I do have pics of my ATF DS on my phone, though.
I've been caught and busted several times over the course of my marriage and we are still going strong in that regard, so I mostly just don't bring attention to it rather than outright hide it. It usually just ends with my wife giving me the "stink eye" and a guilt trip. She mostly turns a blind eye to it because she knows I have the sexual appetite of a nymphomaniac compared to her. She just doesn't want me having actual sex with other women, so she mostly ignores the issue. She recently found and saw all my pictures of my ATF DS on my phone and just said, "You know I can see all your pictures on your phone!" But then she left it at that.
Also every now and then (like once a year) she gets a little tipsy and gets in the mood to go to a club with me. LOL I always choose a club that I don't regularly visit. Also my CFs/ATFs always promise to pretend not to know me if they see me IRL.
SJG
I have that one advantage you don't. The clothes issue. When working, I was around women all the time, often in close proximity. So never an issue with smelling like perfume. The one time I saw a regular outside the club, she just said I and I returned it. Wife didn't ask, but to cover, I just told her she was a customer. As for my phone, no issue as it is always with me. She has one but never uses it other then if I call her when I am not at home.
Forgot to mention, that was when I was working. Since I had to retire and take care of my wife, going clubbing is nearly impossible. Only been about 3 times in over a year. Hope to meet up with vincemichaels tomorrow for a bit.
Also I think one thing that plays to my favor is that my father-in-law was also a married PL monger in his day and my wife knew that about him, so she is a little more tolerant of it.
Also have a good time mongering with vince!