Caught, But Not Really

Wow - that would be a close-call if you were in a relationship, kinda hard to explain that one away LOL

I guess if you had an S.O. it could've been worse, there could have been lipstick on your dick - good luck explaining that one away LOL

The closest I had was glitter on the back of my head lol... wife asked & thankfully I was at a Halloween function with my job so I used that as an excuse... I'm way more careful now lol

Early in my career and marriage, entertaining clients or colleagues (from higher up levels in the company, visiting from other locations) in strip clubs (on the company dime) was an expected part of my job. It was truly a "look and don't touch" activity back then, since clubs didn't even have private dance rooms (some had "VIP" rooms but they weren't private), so she grudgingly accepted it. So, perfume smells, the occasional glitter, etc easily explained away.

Using strip clubs for regular business entertaining has gone out of style, but I still have some clients from that era that still like to hold a status meeting in a SC every now and then, so I can continue to use that as cover.

I do try to be more careful, though. I keep my gym bag in the car, with a towel, and usually a change of clothes. I keep scented shower powder to help cover up perfume smells. I frequent sports bars that still allow smoking to explain smoke smells.

So, no close calls lately.

In my 20's in one of my earliest OTC experiences, I took the girl to dinner at a restaurant about 40 miles from where I lived, thinking it was safe. I did not see the person who saw me, but not only did they see me they knew the stripper I was with. By the time I got home, my wife aready knew who I had been with and where I had been.

I now only club when out of town so not an issue...

But, back in the day I went to a local club (before I was married) with friends and on the way back I got a speeding ticket (thank goodness I did not have 1 drink that night). It’s common for people getting speeding tickets to get published in the local paper, and if anyone would have read where I got pulled over, most people would know I was at that strip club because it would list the road I was pulled over on, and there’s nothing else on this road by a few houses.

Luckily I dodged a bullet and my name was never published in the local paper.

I do not strip club locally anymore and haven’t done so for almost 20 years.

Glitter. My ATF was addicted to this spray tan and glitter. Got to the point that needed to bring a change of clothes me when clubbing.

The other thing that almost got me caught was smoke. Clothes smelled like smoke when getting home. So to avoid these problems just started to always bring a change of clothes with me.

Being single now, don’t have to worry about it any more though.

I got caught but didn't care. She had moved out and I knew divorce was coming. In the mean time I was seeing a stripper OTC that became my original ATF. She lived 300 miles away and I drove over to see her for a couple of days every month. This was before smart phones/texting so there were a lot of cards/letters going back and forth.

My mail man told me that me wife or her girl friend would park down the street and wait for him to deliver the mail. They would then check my mail for incriminating evidence.

Once my ATF was in the Philippines with her mother taking care of her deceased aunts estate and she mailed me a letter from there. unknown to me my wife and her friend stole that letter and then my wife wrote a letter to my ATF telling her that I was married with children. Of course My ATF knew this already. So no big deal. I confronted my wife about it and demanded that letter. She turned it over to me.

She tried to bring up my infidelity during mediation but the mediator stopped her. We were supposed to be working out a settlement not fixing blame. I left happy.

I've been caught several times.

1. My wife pulled up next to me in her car as I was parallel parking mine in front of a bikini bar. It was the only business open on the entire block.

2. I snuck out to go to a club at 10pm after my wife fell asleep. On my way home at 2am I get a text from her asking where I was and if everything was OK.

3. I came home from the club at 11pm and get in bed with my wife and she smells my ATF's perfume.

4. Several times my wife has asked me why I'm withdrawing so much cash from the bank.

For 1) I had no good excuse. I was cold busted so I admitted it. Also for a few of those withdrawals per 4) I had to admit I was going to the club. For all the others I made up lame excuses, but my wife didn't press the issue. She knows I go to strip clubs and watch porn and most of the time she lets it all slide. She knows she doesn't have the same sexual appetite as I do and would rather I do that stuff rather than cheat on her and sleep with other women.

Ah, the joys of an open and permissive relationship where I don't have to lie to anyone.

"unknown to me my wife and her friend stole that letter"... which is a federal crime

Walked into the house without my pants on. Long story.

Damn lopaw that's a story I want to hear!

Doces - what happened when you got home with the upset wife?

"Ah, the joys of an open and permissive relationship where I don't have to lie to anyone."

This right here.

I got caught early on in my pl career. I was at a club - waiting for my cf to arrive. She was late - and I had to get home. On my way home - I called the club - talked to the bouncer - described the dancer - he says she just got in. I literally made a u turn in the street - and went back - directly into vip with her. I couldn’t explain my lateness. I was dead in the water!

I’ve learned lots over the years - and I’ve confirmed that I’m a shitty guy when it comes to monogamy!

That needs to go in the most pathetic thread too

Agree with joc. Lol