How easy is it for strippers to find boyfriends/husbands?
theDirkDiggler
Illinois
This question is probably better suited for SW, but no one with a dick is welcome there so i've always wondered how strippers find boyfriends and eventually husbands AFTER they start stripping and are still stripping. Everyone here says don't date a stripper. And most people with their head on straight won't date a stripper if they know what's good for them. Most "normal" guys will not be comfortable with the girl stripping especially if they have frequented strip clubs themselves. And it's not like porn where you can marry someone from the industry, although i guess managers (and sometimes bouncers and DJS) are always trying to hook up with the strippers. So there has to be a small subset of males that strippers can choose from. Basically, guys that don't care about sharing a girl as long as they can get some of that. Or guys that don't want to work and live off their girl. Or maybe she lies and tries to keep her job secret for as long as she can and who knows how long she can do it, but many of them hide it from the families and friends and acquaintances for seeming forever. It seems unusual that someone so desirable couldn't have anyone she wanted. But that's the reality. Maybe i should have rephrased the question, is it even possible for a stripper to find good marriage material while she is stripping and continues to do so?
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42 comments
I have known quite a few that have married customers. I have no idea how well they worked out because the girls quit dancing once they got the ring.
I knew one that was engaged to a customer and she really wanted to marry him and quit the business. But he insisted on a prenup and that she quit dancing. No security there so they eventually parted ways. Too bad. They deserved each other.
I'll put it in a coaching youth basketball analogy:
Getting with a hot girl is like having a top player with a fucked up attitude. You put with the attitude because he can win you some games...
Getting with a hot "stripper" is like having a top player, with a fucked up attitude, and his parents are constantly yelling from the stands.. shit is not worth the headache.
Moral of the story:
Marry (coach) the medium looking girl. And just come to the game and be entertained by the "hot-stripper" girl.
But since there are probably no strippers like that out there, I doubt that they ever end up with guys like me. I'm sure they are all heartbroken about it.
Anyway, the bottom line is that finding a boyfriend is probably easy for them because most of them are attractive and men tend to prioritize looks. But finding a *good* one is probably hard, for all the reasons the OP and others have mentioned. And keeping a boyfriend faithful must be really difficult. After all, this kind of guy probably isn't very good at keeping it in his pants. And their stripper friends are mostly hot and mostly promiscuous.
But too many guys divide women into two categories, and so the dancers in strip clubs are stigmatized.
I learned early on, once the girl understands that you don't see her that way, doors open.
Sunday Night, "Sorry, *I* don't go out with customers".
Monday Night, her voice on my answering machine, "I want to SEE you."
SJG
Hermetic Kabbalah
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRLOLa18…
It's sorta a catch-22 - a guy can't ask a dancer to quit "her career"/ability-to-make-$$$ if he's not looking to commit to her long-term - many guys would like to date a dancer so they can fuck-her but in reality very-few are willing to commit to her as a person, IMO.
As per the topic from the dancers I've talked to about it, they expressed difficulty in having a normal relationship. One dancer said she just prefers to stay single, make her money, and have her run with different guys. Can't hate on her for that. Another said she always caught her boyfriends cheating and they'd always blame it on her occupation. I felt bad for her but I tell her that's no excuse for them. Then she asked me point blank if I'd ever date a dancer. And I didn't lie, I told her no because I'd be too jealous about a ton of guys groping her and possibly more on a daily basis. She appreciated the honesty but after that the conversation got cold and we ended it shortly after that. The ones who had boyfriends probably just lied to me because they all said they didnt have one. I guess trying to contribute to the fantasy or plain SS but whatever.
SJG
Amen brother. And, IME, oblivious to the fact that they ARE being disrespectful.
And then you are incredulous when I explain that they tend to treat me differently, not being so mercenary, and happy to engage in civilian style intense intimacies, simply because I don't treat them differently than I would treat any other woman.
:)
SJG
So she said she doesn't date customers but she wants to see you because you treat her special? Gee where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, on the top 10 list of stripper shit.
But like she said, "*I* don't go out with customers." And then later on in an almost apologetic tone she said, "You don't understand, I get hit on by 50 guys a night."
What she was explaining is that guys sit her down for a drink, as I had done, and then ask her for P4P OTC.
Once she understood that that was not what I was trying to do, then her entire persona changed. I was not treating her special because she dances in a strip club, I was treating her like I would any other woman, like one I met in the supermarket check out line, or an office worker.
I never forgot that education, at such a tender and inexperienced age.
At that club, there is no ITC mileage, but some of the girls do OTC. All of the girls get OTC offers.
I was not offering OTC, I was approaching her in a completely civilian manner. Once she saw this, her way of interacting with me changed completely.
Our local strip clubs remain zero mileage, but they are also much lower cost.
What makes for a clip joint is how Deja Vu runs San Francisco, a place where the regulatory environment is very loose. Without DV, girls would be climbing all over guys, and doing whatever it takes to close the deal on backroom action. Ideal for developing GFE rapport with a girl you have selected because you like her. Many of the high mileage venues across the country have been written about highly for being this way. San Francisco could be like this.
With DV, its, "wanna dance". If you accept then you are a chump because you are accepting something which will be very expensive but not very good.
Its not just the high cost, its that the choreography between you and the girl is just wrong.
SJG
So she rejected you that night but then the next day she realized her mistake of turning down the guy who offered no money to meet outside the club. And then left you a message on your answering machine that she needs to see you based of your short encounter in the club?
This just gets better and better. LOL. Please, tell me more about the 'civilian' experience, SJG.
What he is trying to imply is that he treating them well. But in reality he regards women as inferior to me. If you want proof of this just look at the roles he foresees for men versus women in his "church". Men will do all the work and be the achievers. Women, OTOH, will just be attracted to the achievers and working as 24/7 prostitutes for them. (Except their pay, apparently, will come as shares in an insolvent organization.) If you ask him to elaborate on these different roles he claims right up.
So it's not that he think that treating strippers as ordinary women is an act of some kind of respect. It's just that he sees all women as, ultimately, prostitutes. So, in his twisted mind, it makes sense. Since they are all prostitutes anyway, why make any distinction in their treatment.
@SJG is the big misogynist I think the board has seen. And he is very overt about it too.
I know my own preferences match that assumption. For example, my usual method of picking a girl whom I wish to date (or get a lap dance from) is simply to determine within my mind's eye, "Is she hot enough? Yes or no?" and if yes, then I want to get closer; if no, I don't. As time progresses, maybe her behavior influences me, too. If she's a yes, then she can ruin it by being annoying, bitchy, prissy, princessy, rude, thus turning herself into a no despite her good looks. But if she starts out as a no, she can't really do anything by mere behavior to change that fact. No means no, period.
And my lifetime experience tells me, if I think of her as a yes, I don't get to date her. That's one of the ironies of physical beauty. That which is physically appealing ENOUGH to me, has NEVER also been INTERESTED in me. Hence, I attend strip clubs, where at least she is interested in my wallet.
Wasn't very long before she told me she was moving in with him. She told me a lot about him and them over time. As I've mentioned before on here, we had an interesting relationship. She was basically alone in the world when I met her. And in conversation found out she knew my son and his gf. Anyway, she would always talk with me as she might with a father.
So it came as no surprise, sometime later, when she told me she was pregnant. She said she was going to have the baby, but the guy wasn't so sure about that. Anyway, a short time later she got to the club when I was already there. She stopped by my table and said she'd be right back. So she went to the dressing room, I thought. She comes back in a few minutes still in her civilian clothes and said she wanted to talk, but not in the club. I asked what happened and she said she had just quit and let's go! We left and I took her out to eat. Tears started flowing and she bared her soul to me. She told me that her bf and his mother talked her into an abortion, but then that really ended their relationship and she had moved out and pretty far away.
I saw her a few times where she had moved and at the club she was working. Wasn't close and was difficult to have a chance to get there. After I saw her about 3 times over the next few months, I told her i couldn't keep coming to that club. That pretty much ended our relationship.
I still saw her a few times afterwards when she was with my son and when she would visit my son or come with him to family events. Was a strained "relationship" and she was pretty cold towards me. As time went on she and my son drifted apart as friends and I've never seen her again.
I really couldn't talk to my son about her since he didn't know about us. Last I heard, she was still single and doing very well in what ever she was doing. Lived in her condo on the beach and drove her Porsche around. Bottom line, she had her rough spots, but
seemed to have survived pretty well. I hope she is well!
It is probably very easy for a guy to agree to date a stripper. The lure of a hot girl - who makes questionable life choices - can be very attractive. However, if the girl continues to dance, it can make it difficult for the boyfriend. Some guys are happy to have a hot dancer girlfriend for a fuck buddy (and a free fuck buddy at that).
The dancers may have a very different view of how to maintain a good relationship. They see things differently, as their world revolves around themselves. Looking hot - checking their look everywhere. Knowing that guys are looking at them everywhere they go. These things fuel the ego. If they have older dudes buying them things - then they know their looks are a commodity - and they know the value of those looks too.
I think BurlingtonHF had a good post here - and his ideas are also pertinent. It’s fun to get a stripper - but it’s generally a short term relationship - with some great sex - and many broken commitments.
I know an ex dancer - who’s in her early 50’s. She’s never been married. Works in a corporate job. She’s filed several sexual harassment suits against men in her office. She’s also had affairs with several married men in her office. Her world always revolved around her - and it still does. The difference is - she was super hot - and corporate office working guys were drooling over her - but now she’s average and there’s no drooling now. She’s high maintenance - as she still requires everything to be as she wants it - but she’s no longer hot - and she doesn’t understand why guys aren’t drooling to help her out.
Other women only care about themselves and will always be looking to trade up in a relationship. Strippers fit this description. Their life will be filled with a long series of boyfriends, baby daddies, and ex’s. The smart ones will find someone to take care of them before their looks are completely gone.
That's one of the sadder darker aspects of being a stripper. Just the loneliness that I'm all but sure they feel. And in a weird sense, some of them might stay in the business longer to try to appease that, particularly if they've already been alienated by their families and/or friends.
That's something that has intrigued me for awhile now. How very beautiful and attractive women deal with the eventual loss of their looks. It cannot be easy and must be just as hard as a very wealthy man gradually losing all his money when he needs it the most.
The funny thing is a few of the dancers i've met were literally serious nursing students. If that was their career goal, then stripping isn't that much of a stretch for them in terms of job personality fit. I don't know about the teacher thing. A nurse can be caught stripping, but she probably can't be legally fired, i think. A teacher stands no chance if she's caught (and she will be very tempted to strip in the summers), with all the angry parents, some of whom have probably seen her strip. Also most customers aren't like students, but with all the crazy teachers lately, who knows...
However, since she’s retired from dancing, she’s had her tits redone, had lyposuction in her ass, had her eyes (and face touched up), and a few other procedures. Now she’s run into a scare with blood clots - and she believes the clots may have occurred due to some of her recent surgeries.
The truth is - she’s trying to maintain her looks - in an attempt to retain a sense of self worth - as she’s sure her looks and worth are highly correlated. She doesn’t really date. Generally a date with her is either her coming to a guys place for some food - before he fucks her - or going to dinner with a coworker who will endure her talk about herself - and her issues that occurred from her surgeries.
You can talk with her for hours - and you will hear lots of “I” and “me” - but never will you hear “how are you?”
She had friends (unfortunately in the same circle), but no family. Part of why I became the father figure. That, plus I was well over twice her age.
Probable?... no. Meaning Vegas-odds no.
Keeping a boyfriend? If she wants the relationship to be more than just fucking, she probably won't keep him for very long
Finding or keeping a husband? I highly doubt very many of them do while they are still stripping because I doubt that very many of them actually can even hold onto a boyfriend longterm.
Yes TFP, it really is that simple. She didn't really reject me, she was harsh and abrupt with me, because she thought I was one of the 50 guys per night who offered to pay her and fuck her. So she needed to make sure I understood that she did not do that.
So I just talked to her in an unpretentious way, as a guy would talk to a woman he met someplace else. I told her the things a girl will always want to know, like what I did for a living.
She changed completely and became apologetic in tone.
Now of course the last thing I had ever thought of doing was a P4P session with her. This was before I had ever even patronized an AMP.
The last thing I would have ever done is try to pay a woman for sex. And so once she saw that I was not trying to do that, she changed completely.
Consider this, a guy learns about the time he is in junior high school that the women held up as sex symbols, like in the movies and in Playboy centerfolds, are out of his social reach. So would that also apply to the girls in a bar like the Sunnyvale Brass Rail?
Only one way to find out. So first she had to make sure I understood that she did not "go out with customers". And then when she saw that I was talking to her just like I would have a girl I had met somewhere else, she changed completely.
This was before cell phones, and so women were much more careful about telephone numbers.
So when she said, "You don't understand, I get hit on by 50 guys a night," I still felt that the honorability of my intentions was being trashed. So just instinctively to try and restore my honor, I just grabbed a cocktail napkin and wrote down my complete name and telephone number, and then handed it to her.
She, now standing, held it down at arms length and then said, "Well okay."
Because I had felt that my honor had been attacked, I decided to quit while I was still ahead and go home.
Worked very late the next night, forgot about the matter, came home, found a message on my mechanical answering machine, one of those real big ones with its own built in tape. Played it back and it was her.
Of course the woman knows that it will come down to sex. Usually they don't move that fast. But sometimes there are exceptions and they do move as fast as pro's do. The main thing is just is the guy being open and honest with her, being real with her.
Yes it is true, so long as you are not treating a woman like a prostitute, she often will want to be fucking your brains out all night long, and for free. This applies to lonely MILF's, but it also applies to young hotties who parade around in little more than high heels and makeup and get money thrown at them all night long.
I was inexperienced, and just testing the waters. But if I stayed around and sat more rounds at her stage, and started to talk some about where we might go when we went out, that might have further opened her up and resulted in me waking up with her the next morning.
But again, I was inexperienced and did not need to move that fast, and I had to work the next day. Work schedule and life style differences between us would have made things hard.
In AMPs, most guys get an HJ. I treat the girls like civilians, and not only do I get mind blowing GFE-FS, the girls will often turn it into a Girl Friend Audition. It doesn't get better than that. I still pay them, but that is just as a show of respect, care, and concern.
Watch this:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062137/
All the scenes are both interesting and hilarious, but pay special attention to the one with Jeanne Moreau .
SJG
Yardbirds Mr. Your A Better Man Than I - Heart Full Of Soul live (NOT OFFICIAL RELEASE) , kind of a less polished performance. Most interesting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QcTgPyI…
1968 Anderson Theater, like the girl on the cover. I do!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9ULMxxl…
Tijuana Strippers on Jerry Springer
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/pQaiA2_DMSc/hqdef…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meLivBOI…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQaiA2_D…
http://www.fashiondivadesign.com/stephan…
Tijuana gallery, HK Bar
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/tiju…
Las Chavelas girls
http://laschavelasbar.com/gallery/may-20…
http://laschavelasbar.com/gallery/cache/…
http://www.thegmanifesto.com/2009/04/mex…
SJG
I was Bambi, in way over my head. But that was part of why things worked so well. No guile on my part.
SJG
Senator Jeff Flake (R) AZ, declining to run again.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/jeff-flake-an…
Do you believe a single word of what this dude SJG posts??? I sure as hell don't.
SJG