Why I Can Never Run For Political Office

You are cleaner than than 95% of politicians.

Got my vote LMFAO...I'm sure the rest of these faggots agree :)

You are clean as a whistle! That's amateur stuff when compared to the shit most politicians have hiding in their closets!

... And many hours of interior camera footage attending the clubs.

Plus, in N. C. all clubs are membership clubs. Scanning ID is common.

Only live once

Honest Vince - you might want to reword the part about loving kids... it might be misunderstood.

maybe you should change the name of the governors mansion to Neverland Ranch?

If you have never threatened to grab a woman by the pussy, then you are not qualified for political office. Nice try though.

The mansion needs a Chuck E. Cheese franchise!

Lol

it's all good unles you get caught in bedbwith a dead girl or a live boy you should be just fine.

Dead girl or live boy - love it!

Does it still count if the dead girl is a hooker?

^^^I'd say same difference you are the one running for office thank god it's not me.

^^ I don't think it matters (if the dead girl is a hooker) as long as you aren't caught having sex with her - as your town may have laws against that sort of thing...

Maybe not, but you could defineitly be the hero in a modern day musical.

Priest and boy.

Boy and Priest.

It's not weird cuz the boy's 19...

^ ugh, fake vm made me laugh, again... had to take a shot to numb the self loathing. ;)

Warhawks - possible the best current act on Howard Stern

Shaillyn's way too corrupt for political office. However, he would make a terrific lawyer.

OMG. I read your list and I have done (or pretty close) all but 3 of them.

1. I threw up on a sorority girl at a party in college. Close, it was my date to a formal.

2. I bounced a check when I was 19 (bad fiscal management). 19 or 20.

3. At least 4 strippers know my real name (potential blackmail). Yep

4. I have more speeding tickets than I'd like to admit but only 2 over the past 16 years (carelessness). My driving record has a few blemishes, but probably not that bad. I've had some recent hiccups.

5. I've sent dick picks but only when requested (another blackmail potential). Never sent a dick pic. My zoom isn't powerful enough.

6. I constantly make fun of Lil Fishsticks (potential bulky call out). Yep.

7. I make fun of Juice (potential issue with threatment of mentally handicapped). Nope.

8. I once was thrown out of a bar (apparently peeing on the floor is frowned upon). I've been thrown out of a hockey game for the same reason.

9. I've flown the different states just to have sex (potential misuse of city funds). Yep, but didn't get it.

10. I once miscounted the votes in my homeowners association so the asshole everyone hates didn't get elected to the board (corruption). Nope. But that's classic.

Oh come on, shailynn, you and the Juiceman in a race for the presidency. It would be great for the country, certainly can't be worse than the 2 we just had. :)