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HarryJones deeply in love - Its Reached It's Climax...

Monday, July 3, 2017 5:53 PM
Okay so you all know my story by now. I've just finished a 1 hour 10 minute phone call with her and we've pretty much settled things once and for all. It was mega positive and I hung up the phone feeling nothing but HUGE respect for her. There is no scam, there is no lies, no games, nothing. Everybody knows how much I care about her but she TRULY with all her heart cares about me too. She wants me to relax. To have fun. To meet Civi girls and actually live my life. She said that on her night off this Friday, shes going to our local regular nightclub (where i'll be) and if she sees me kissing or chatting up another girl, she'll be proud and so happy for me. Thats where the problem has been, some experienced guys on this site and my best friend IRL has told me this, but I've allowed her to pin me down and trap me....even though she never wanted that. I did it to myself. I cant look at other girls with interest anymore, I cant see a future with anyone else and I have neglected other hobbies and interests too much. "I do love you, but not in THAT way, right now" "I'm just a regular girl, I'm still young myself at 24, I want to be partying and meeting people and having fun. But more importantly, you should be doing that too" She doesnt want to be slutty but if she met a guy in a nightclub and took him home, she wouldnt want it to be serious. However she doesnt want just sex from me because she knows its not fair on me and would screw me up. She said i'm a definite 8/10 and that I am very good looking, and I should just up my confidence. She admitted that she's dated 4 out of 10s...i've seen the pics lol We agreed that exchanging silly messages back and fourth EVERY single day for 3 months was a little childish. Some are good, but often its just needless and boring questions for the sake of it. She is 24, her Grandma is dying, she travels 20 miles almost everyday to see her and the rest of her family even though she cant drive and her schedule is manic. Its not necessary. But doesn't need to completely end. She said she loves talking to me and being around me and that she doesn't want there to be any bad blood or bitterness between us. She is still baking me a cake soon for my birthday and buying me gifts. Its not officially the typical "Friend Zone" but we are essentially friends. She also advised me to stop getting as many dances and spending as much because she doesnt care about the money, she cares about what its doing to my head and my heart. We both care immensely for one another and there is definitely mutual respect. So we can still enjoy dances (Maybe a few less), chat (less frequently) and even hangout from time to time....but without me attempting to marry her. She gave me the whole "Never say never" "One Day but certainly no time majorly soon" stuff, BUT made it very clear that I need to stop hanging onto that and assuming its a dead certainty. Just live life for a big first. I would still be "Perfect to settle down with" i'm the "Kindest, loveliest, sweetest guy" she's ever met. And its finally hit me. I have low confidence levels, but even I am confident enough to know that ANY woman would be lucky to have me and to settle down with me...including her. I am the safe bet, the lovely, caring, romantic guy who's super reliable. And thats what a woman wants. BUT a woman wants that at maybe 26, 27, or even 30. Not 24 and not whilst i'm 19. She wants a fairytale happy ending one day and so do I. And everyone deserves that one day...but that day doesn't have to be straight away. I've been forcing it onto the poor girl. So i'm gonna try and live my life more, my work hours have just been increased anyway, I'll find some new hobbies....and maybe i'll even bang a few bitches ;) all whilst holding onto what we have already built, its special and theres no need to throw that away. Its not 100% but if I play my cards right, stop looking so clingy, desperate and needy. Relax around her and allow both of us to have fun (with and without) each other. Something could develop in a few months...or even a year or 2. At least then it will be natural and feel so so special if It did happen. Thanks again for reading and offering advice in the past.

21 comments

  • ime
    •
    7 years ago
    "...or even a year or 2." Sorry man you have no chance, move on.
  • HarryJones
    •
    7 years ago
    ^ Didn't mean it like that. I've finally seen the light and the error of my ways, give credit where credit is due and accept the major step that i've taken
  • Bj99
    •
    7 years ago
    Just for a laugh ;) [view link] You are friend zoned. Still, like I keep saying, respect what you feel enough to not settle for less, even with someone else. Then you won't need to worry ab her changing her mind someday and destroying your life.
  • houjack
    •
    7 years ago
    Long winded way of saying friend zoned.
  • HarryJones
    •
    7 years ago
    But this can only be more psoitive than me tortuing myself? Right?
  • Bj99
    •
    7 years ago
    In the long run, but you shouldn't be happy ab this. There's no real hope. She doesn't have romantic feelings for you. haven't you ever not been interested in someone who had feelings for you? See it for what it is. Be sad, or angry, and then move on.
  • Dougster
    •
    7 years ago
    "Something could develop in a few months...or even a year or 2." So you're saying there's a chance?
  • HarryJones
    •
    7 years ago
    I almost cried. Lol I'm not happy. I'm half heartbroken but half releived.
  • Bj99
    •
    7 years ago
    Cry then. Be sad for a few days, and then move forward. She doesn't love you, so it's just not meant to be. There's someone better for you out there who will love you back. It's that simple.
  • Uprightcitizen
    •
    7 years ago
    May god have mercy on your soul...
  • Uprightcitizen
    •
    7 years ago
    When you walked into the club you just took the blue pill. It is a fantasy at its core and the girls that work there make $$ on developing that fantasy. The more $$ you throw the more you reinforce that world with the dancers. Yes its possible to get involved with a dancer at your age but most dancers dont see any paying customers as potential mates since, well why are you in a strip club to begin with? The ironic truth is in fact just being there often precludes them from that real possibility. Knowing you are in an alternate reality is the first step toward emotional and intellectual freedom. If you want the harsh truth take red pill and as I advised juice to free your mind...
  • Lone_Wolf
    •
    7 years ago
    OP: You are heading towards a restraining order and a loss of self respect that will take years to get over.
  • TheeOSU
    •
    7 years ago
    I've only read a bit here and a bit there of OP's posts but i've seen enough to call bullshit on his postings. In his very first discussion March 27 he said that he recently turned 20 then March 28 he titles his discussion "Any clubs for a 19 year old in Orlando Florida?" then today July 3, two thirds of the way down in his first post here he again refers to himself as a 19yr old. A guy that had a birthday in March still doesn't know how old he is in July? I'll bet there are other slip ups in the fairy tales that he's been posting here that apparently many of you have swallowed but i detected bullshit in his first topic hence my decisions not to read through all of his postings but for anyone that wants to investigate themselves, feel free. [view link]
  • a21985
    •
    7 years ago
    So honored we got to all read an early release of the long awaited sequel to Tolstoy's War & Peace. But seriously OP, I just couldn't get through reading all of that, but if whatever it is you are talking about is true, good luck or congrats, whichever one makes the most sense here.
  • Alter_Kocker96
    •
    7 years ago
    TheeOSU +1 Nevertheless, Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. Friedrich Nietzsche
  • Dougster
    •
    7 years ago
    @Lone_Sheep: Get a grip!
  • HarryJones
    •
    7 years ago
    I'm 19, 20 at the start of Septembef so i'll often just call myself 20. Especially with everyone else here being so much older....and me being way too young for this kinda thing. At the end of the day, I havent really gained anything. Not like theres been a happy ending or anything, so lying wouldnt exactly have been fun. Its not an overly well written or interesting "story" if you think it is one
  • Pizza (hiatus)
    •
    7 years ago
    As someone who has communicated more deeply with HarryJones on this subject I think he is being legit.
  • Rick999
    •
    7 years ago
    I would be trying to meet girls in a college at that age, not in a strip club. There are more to choose from and they are all single. I didn't have money to waste at that age either since I was a full time student except for summer and winter jobs. Actually I never visited a strip club until long after college.
  • GACA
    •
    7 years ago
    I feel bad for the kid. Sooooo clueless on how girls his age work. The more you fawn over them, the more desperate and unattractive you seem. Girls typically want guys who could take their pick of women but In the end choose them. They're obsessed with making a bad boy good like a weird thing with them. You're a nice guy so there's really nothing change which makes you not a challenge and quite simply boring. Good person and when they're done spearing and getting their heart broken riding the cock carousel and use them maybe having two or three kids then yeah you're the safe bet you're the consolation prize... way to go kid :)
  • larryfisherman
    •
    7 years ago
    You're 19 years old dude, go out in the civilian world and get yourself a girlfriend or fuckbuddy. A stripper should be the last thing on your mind at your age.
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