Getting aggressive w/ a stripper during lapdances
sflguy123
Florida
I like it, both ways. Not to hard.
I was with a girl today I have been with 2 times prior. So I started choking her and slapping her some with the tip of my fingers(not hard at all).
I had her slap me and she did it harder than I did her(but not hard either).
After she told me she knows what I like now and I told her I would be rougher the next time.
How have strippers reacted to you if you went here?
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41 comments
I don't do the bottom thing though, so maybe that's the rest. :)
A good # of black-dancers ha ve asked me to slap their ass but it seems I rarely do it hard-enough for their liking.
I do like pulling on hair but since most of my dances involve ebonies that's not doable for the most-part.
I also like to slap a girls boobs in kinda a smacking motion but usually when they have large full natural breasts.
I've actually had better luck on sugar sites with this. My profile *always* contains something like "I top. If you bottom, I'm especially interested. Let's talk limits."
In retrospect, mentioning "limits" in the context of spanking and other BDSM style activities might be one of the reasons for increased success in stripper world, as well. I've gotten downright clinical in some online discussions with girls. :)
If you're some impotent, weak, repulsive dude who gets off on that sort of thing, take it outside the strip club. Find some babe outside of the club who has no self-esteem and who consents to that sort of horseshit.
I noticed lots and lots of SBs specifically use phrases like "looking for a dominant daddy", though don't have nearly enough experience to know whether this is meant as a general personality description, or applies sexually
RM, consensual domination been studied for years, and enjoying the dom or sub role has nothing to do with being "impotent, weak", etc... it's a perfectly legit form of sexual expression. Your projecting here, though, might be warning sign! Just wondering -- is it just the choking and slapping you're objecting to, not the spanking? Just wondering if you've decided certain domination activities are ok and others aren't, and how.
The fact that the girls so commonly both invite it, and urge you to do it harder, is explicit verbal consent... for myself, I'm just as comfortable in either power role, but the vast majority of strippers would rather play sub.
The vast majority of dancers want to make money and go home safely. I'd wager that 99.9% of strippers are not interested in getting choked while you slap them in your face in the lap-dance area. Maybe take all your expertise to a peer-reviewed journal like the "Journal of Psychiatric Research." I'm sure they'd be more than interested in your theories about sexual domination.
It's not a weakness or impotence thing. Some subs, along with some tops, do, in fact, have problems, but they are no more representative of the entire group of BDSM lifestyle afficianados than are the posters on this board representative of strip club goers in general.
And if "posting strip-club reviews could only be considered a status-symbol on a strange site like this," then boasting that you "have something like twice the number of reviews that you do, posted under an alias" is even stranger. You want credit for reviews for which there is no evidence? Good luck with that.
Don't sell RM short, he did spend 30 seconds googling the topic so he could name a journal -- as if this would remotely fool anyone into thinking he has the remotest understanding of it. Ironically, if he followed his own advice and spent a few hours digging into modern thinking on the topic, he'd find the evidence-based results overturning the previous by-rote thinking of it as unhealthy and the grudging admission that it's a common and healthy sexual expression that an enormous percentage of people have played with, at least lightly. But if you've made up your mind and your entire expertise is google-for-30s, that's not the picture that immediately comes up.
I'm still interested in knowing the answer to my original question: if a stripper asks for or consents to a light spanking, is that still "repulsive"? If she then tells you to do it harder? Does consent have any place is RM's value system when it comes to stripper/customer interactions? Is it that difficult to understand that for a stripper who is so inclined, getting spanked might be preferable to having her pussy touched, and that this is exactly the choice they very often make -- and RM is deciding unilaterally is repulsive?
Listen, ladies, I have no experience with BDSM. The point is that if you start choking dancers that you hardly know during a lapdance, you're likely to leave the club without any teeth.
Crazyjoe will judge.
Right, that part is excruciatingly obvious, you have no experience, don't understand it, and don't want to understand it. So instead of coming in with a lecturing, superior tone, maybe try a different approach? I'd have a completely different tone if that's the way you came in.
-->" The point is that if you start choking dancers that you hardly know during a lapdance, you're likely to leave the club without any teeth. "
That has no bearing on reality, it's an SJG-like prediction as to how you THINK things might go... you should at least be open to the notion that those of us who have actually done it in strip clubs, know differently. In reality, I've been playing this way at strip clubs for decades, as dom and sub, from light to hard. So, across all of the time I've SC'ed:
- Number of times I've been told by a bouncer or stripper, AFTER I've sought and obtained her consent, to stop spanking/choking/etc her: exactly 0.
- Number of times I"ve been told by a bouncer or stripper to stop touching her pussy or tits: a bunch. Although since I started applying the BDSM philosphy of seeking explicit consent, that's 0 also.
Agree that grabbing and choking a random dancer is a bad idea :) I don't think anyone is just grabbing and choking a dancer they hardly know, without a discussion of consent first -- although I think the exact same thing applies to touching her pussy, and you should be running into the zillion threads where guys advise "you can just tell, just touch it" and saying the same thing. Plain and simple: if the stripper is okay with it, or even encouraging it, no you won't "leave the club without any teeth"
Believe it or not, we managed to figure that out. With your first words.
"if you start choking dancers that you hardly know during a lapdance, you're likely to leave the club without any teeth."
Proving that either you refuse to actually read that to which you are responding, your reading comprehension sucks moosedick, or that you're willfully ignoring what's being said.
Nobody except you is talking about randomly choking and slapping strippers. Stop with the straw man.
That appears to be a myth that's just repeated by rote, with no actual data ... no way to predict which role someone will want. I enjoy both...
SJG
Lol!
Just what strippers told me. Used to know one coworkers who was apparently into and he is (much to my surprise) fairly mildly powerful in the corporate one. Of course a sample size one is nothing, so mostly go on the word of the strippers I talked to. Before I learned to get 100 miles away from any of them who are into that shit.
Anyway, no way to know how much to trust that study without being able to read the methodology. But if it's true, maybe everyone should practice BDSM to make us a healthier nation!
Anyway, the part that especially rings true to me is their measurement (not in the abstract, but quoted in subsequent summaries in industry journals) that 92% of women identified as either subs or switches, only 8% identified as just dommes. LIke I said, I can't remember the last time a stripper turned me down for at least a light playful spanking, and in my real life dating life, the women have been overwhelmingly submissive also, and that absolutely exploded once 50 Shades came out
I have news from you: my experience is, 100% of strippers are into that shit LOL! CEO as sub is definitely a thing... we just don't know that that's the norm rather than a super noticeable and interesting exception
While it's true that I know very little about BDSM, my hunch is that most men with your interest in inflicting pain on women were themselves humiliated and abused by women in their early childhood. Perhaps it was an abusive mother or a female teacher that ridiculed your lack of masculinity in front the other children. Your handle does tend to suggest a lack of confidence in your own level of masculinity.
Try getting some therapy, @NanoDong; it's never too late!!