By that I mean some choking and face cheek slapping.
I like it, both ways. Not to hard.
I was with a girl today I have been with 2 times prior. So I started choking her and slapping her some with the tip of my fingers(not hard at all).
I had her slap me and she did it harder than I did her(but not hard either).
After she told me she knows what I like now and I told her I would be rougher the next time.
How have strippers reacted to you if you went here?
I've been pursuing this in clubs more than I used to. Haven't had much luck in the past, but either times have changed, or my approach has, because the incidence of girls who respond positively, and seem to actually like it, has gone way up. Not the near 100% Subraman gets, but way more than I've gotten before.
I don't do the bottom thing though, so maybe that's the rest. :)
I like touching/grabbing but not into the hitting stuff - I've had some dancers take my hands and put them around their neck for me to choak them but not really into-it, also have had some try to choke me and not into that either.
A good # of black-dancers ha ve asked me to slap their ass but it seems I rarely do it hard-enough for their liking.
I do like pulling on hair but since most of my dances involve ebonies that's not doable for the most-part.
I also like to slap a girls boobs in kinda a smacking motion but usually when they have large full natural breasts.
Shit
I choked a few strippers....getting choked out during a orgasm is intense
^^^^ Juicy, I think you're confused. They are not referring to "self-service" (aka) "choking your own chicken" in the VIP area because a stripper will not get you off, making you finish yourself!
I'm really surprised by the number of strippers who want me to slap their ass hard and sometimes even choke them. WTF. I jus want to fuck a cute young thing.
BTW, not to be an easily offended SJW who needs to run off to his safe space for a good cry, but I do wince a bit at the title term "aggressive", which implies a lack of consent or even not caring if she consents or not. The kind of light (or sometimes, not-so-light) domination we're talking about is not consent-free aggression. The girls routinely invite it or, if asked, welcome it, no reason to just spring it on them.
+519,472 on what Subraman said about consent. With an addendum about corollary which is "limits."
I've actually had better luck on sugar sites with this. My profile always contains something like "I top. If you bottom, I'm especially interested. Let's talk limits."
In retrospect, mentioning "limits" in the context of spanking and other BDSM style activities might be one of the reasons for increased success in stripper world, as well. I've gotten downright clinical in some online discussions with girls. :)
Getting aggressive? Slapping? Choking?
If you're some impotent, weak, repulsive dude who gets off on that sort of thing, take it outside the strip club. Find some babe outside of the club who has no self-esteem and who consents to that sort of horseshit.
-->"I've actually had better luck on sugar sites with this. "
I noticed lots and lots of SBs specifically use phrases like "looking for a dominant daddy", though don't have nearly enough experience to know whether this is meant as a general personality description, or applies sexually
-->"If you're some impotent, weak, repulsive dude who gets off on that sort of thing, take it outside the strip club. Find some babe outside of the club who has no self-esteem and who consents to that sort of horseshit. "
RM, consensual domination been studied for years, and enjoying the dom or sub role has nothing to do with being "impotent, weak", etc... it's a perfectly legit form of sexual expression. Your projecting here, though, might be warning sign! Just wondering -- is it just the choking and slapping you're objecting to, not the spanking? Just wondering if you've decided certain domination activities are ok and others aren't, and how.
The fact that the girls so commonly both invite it, and urge you to do it harder, is explicit verbal consent... for myself, I'm just as comfortable in either power role, but the vast majority of strippers would rather play sub.
I'm a wuss. Saying don't stop when I am close is about as aggressive as I get.
The whole thread's repulsive, @Subra. If you're into choking your partner, then find yourself a GF outside of the club. Anyway, that's what bouncers are for; push a dancers limits too far, and maybe you'll leave the club without any teeth.
RM: I like it that a guy who has no understanding of domination, and also doesn't go to strip clubs, is the arbiter of what is acceptable in strip clubs... sorry, we're all going to keep going, we're all going to enjoy ourselves, we'll all keep discussing it, and nothing being discussed is non-consensual (from what I can tell). And your profound ignorance of consensual domination doesn't make your view right, it makes it ignorant. I've only been doing this several decades, and never pushed a dancer's limits or had any trouble with a bouncer; yes, when asked "do you want to be dominant or submissive", they almost always choose submissive
Try to calm down there, @Subra. I've posted many times about several long-term flings I've had with strippers. I have something like twice the number of reviews that you do, posted under an alias. Although posting strip-club reviews could only be considered a status-symbol on a strange site like this.
The vast majority of dancers want to make money and go home safely. I'd wager that 99.9% of strippers are not interested in getting choked while you slap them in your face in the lap-dance area. Maybe take all your expertise to a peer-reviewed journal like the "Journal of Psychiatric Research." I'm sure they'd be more than interested in your theories about sexual domination.
RM: I know that a guy who doesn't go to strip clubs probably knows better than the girls themselves, what they want ... but humoring the girls a bit, there is a chance they know better than you what their limits are, and if she says "harder!", she's not only doing something within her limits, but may actually prefer *say) getting spanked to (say) getting her pussy groped without her consent, which is discussed ad nauseum on this site and you have no objection to. She knows better than you what she'll accept and what her limits are -- you wearing your ignorance like a badge doesn't change that. The fact that you don't understand it or like it has absolutely no bearing on her choices.
BTW, the same goes in reverse ... many strippers will happily take the dominant role, and again, as long as both stripper and customer are consenting, it's no one else's call on whether it's any more or less ethical than anything else. The pronouncement of the supreme arbiter notwithstanding
I'm not as versatile as Subraman, pretty much all top, with only minor bottom tendencies, but I've been with enough subs to know that I'm far more qualified than RandomMember is to comment on the subject.
It's not a weakness or impotence thing. Some subs, along with some tops, do, in fact, have problems, but they are no more representative of the entire group of BDSM lifestyle afficianados than are the posters on this board representative of strip club goers in general.
And if "posting strip-club reviews could only be considered a status-symbol on a strange site like this," then boasting that you "have something like twice the number of reviews that you do, posted under an alias" is even stranger. You want credit for reviews for which there is no evidence? Good luck with that.
This thread makes me grateful for the ignore feature :) I realize I'm seeing only one side of a "conversation", but I deeply don't care about the other side.
-->"m not as versatile as Subraman, pretty much all top, with only minor bottom tendencies, but I've been with enough subs to know that I'm far more qualified than RandomMember is to comment on the subject."
Don't sell RM short, he did spend 30 seconds googling the topic so he could name a journal -- as if this would remotely fool anyone into thinking he has the remotest understanding of it. Ironically, if he followed his own advice and spent a few hours digging into modern thinking on the topic, he'd find the evidence-based results overturning the previous by-rote thinking of it as unhealthy and the grudging admission that it's a common and healthy sexual expression that an enormous percentage of people have played with, at least lightly. But if you've made up your mind and your entire expertise is google-for-30s, that's not the picture that immediately comes up.
I'm still interested in knowing the answer to my original question: if a stripper asks for or consents to a light spanking, is that still "repulsive"? If she then tells you to do it harder? Does consent have any place is RM's value system when it comes to stripper/customer interactions? Is it that difficult to understand that for a stripper who is so inclined, getting spanked might be preferable to having her pussy touched, and that this is exactly the choice they very often make -- and RM is deciding unilaterally is repulsive?
ROFL, I really need to dig out the thread where @Deuce took me off ignore and declared me a "good contributor." Not that I give a shit, @Deuce, but you should really try to be consistent and avoid making a fool of yourself.
Listen, ladies, I have no experience with BDSM. The point is that if you start choking dancers that you hardly know during a lapdance, you're likely to leave the club without any teeth.
OK, you two, go to the john and have a shit contest, the one with the biggest pile wins. :)
Crazyjoe will judge.
RM-->'Listen, ladies, I have no experience with BDSM."
Right, that part is excruciatingly obvious, you have no experience, don't understand it, and don't want to understand it. So instead of coming in with a lecturing, superior tone, maybe try a different approach? I'd have a completely different tone if that's the way you came in.
-->" The point is that if you start choking dancers that you hardly know during a lapdance, you're likely to leave the club without any teeth. "
That has no bearing on reality, it's an SJG-like prediction as to how you THINK things might go... you should at least be open to the notion that those of us who have actually done it in strip clubs, know differently. In reality, I've been playing this way at strip clubs for decades, as dom and sub, from light to hard. So, across all of the time I've SC'ed:
Agree that grabbing and choking a random dancer is a bad idea :) I don't think anyone is just grabbing and choking a dancer they hardly know, without a discussion of consent first -- although I think the exact same thing applies to touching her pussy, and you should be running into the zillion threads where guys advise "you can just tell, just touch it" and saying the same thing. Plain and simple: if the stripper is okay with it, or even encouraging it, no you won't "leave the club without any teeth"
@RandomMember: " I have no experience with BDSM."
Believe it or not, we managed to figure that out. With your first words.
"if you start choking dancers that you hardly know during a lapdance, you're likely to leave the club without any teeth."
Proving that either you refuse to actually read that to which you are responding, your reading comprehension sucks moosedick, or that you're willfully ignoring what's being said.
Nobody except you is talking about randomly choking and slapping strippers. Stop with the straw man.
I think Random is on the right track it's generally the impotent, weak, repulsive dudes who get off being sexually dominant since it's a change from real life. Interestingly the guys who are powerful IRL are more likely to want a break from that and take the submissive role. That's apparently, however, it works with guys, anyway. The whole BDSM thing is ultra-weird in my mind, anyway. Get me 100' away from anyone of either gender who is into that. (And all the ones I know who have been into that, are what I'll call "sleeper weirdos" in real life.)
-->"Interestingly the guys who are powerful IRL are more likely to want a break from that and take the submissive role."
That appears to be a myth that's just repeated by rote, with no actual data ... no way to predict which role someone will want. I enjoy both...
Among the little bit of data we do have, a recent study found the main predictor is sex: the vast majority of women identify as sexually submissive, a majority (but smaller majority) of men identify as sexually dominant. I can dig up the attribution, it is from an actual and fairly recent study, but not a huge one
I would say that it requires a more complex relationship with the service provider to go into S and M. Can't really expect that with one you have just met, and in the basic club environment. But we have some posters here who like it and know how to get it.
SJG
Let's see the study!
onlinelibrary.wiley.com That's the abstract. I don't have a subscription to read the study myself so just have to go by summaries from others. <1500 participants, which though small makes it the most authoritative at the moment, although it generally rings true to me (which means nothing, obviously, other than I"ve experienced many of the things in the study, such as the overwhelming number of women being sub or switch, etc.). Again, the "powerful men are all submissive" has no basis in any peer-reviewed study, that I can tell -- it's just a thing people who don't know, repeat.. in fact, the study does not address and measure this directly, but they did measure an attribute that indicates the reverse may more generally be true -- we may notice a CEO submissive more because of the role reversal, but that may not be the common model, if those measures are any indication.
Ugh, I must have put in an angle bracket and the rest of my post got cut off... it's small, 1500ish participants, but rings true to me (that doesn't mean anything, obviously, but some of the study conclusions, such as that the vast majority of women are sub or switches, is exactly what I've experienced). The "CEO as sub" has not been measured definitively in a peer-reviewed study, and hasn't been measured directly in this one either, but the study did measure a particular attribute they defined as "agreeableness", and the results of those measurements indicate the opposite: CEO as sub might be much less common than the reverse (perhaps we just notice it more because of the role reversal). In any case, I'd venture the "the guys who are powerful IRL are more likely to want a break from that and take the submissive role." claim you made above is like all other similar claims -- based on no real data, just something that's repeated. Do you know where you got it from? Just something you've read?
Well apparently the researcher are out the Netherlands, which is a country pretty renowned for its weirdness. I'm surprised, in fact, if the study took place in the Netherlands they were even able to find a control group to compare against!
Lol!
Subraman: " Do you know where you got it from? "
Just what strippers told me. Used to know one coworkers who was apparently into and he is (much to my surprise) fairly mildly powerful in the corporate one. Of course a sample size one is nothing, so mostly go on the word of the strippers I talked to. Before I learned to get 100 miles away from any of them who are into that shit.
Should say somewhere between "fairly" and "mildly" powerful in the corporate world.
Anyway, no way to know how much to trust that study without being able to read the methodology. But if it's true, maybe everyone should practice BDSM to make us a healthier nation!
No argument about those netherlanders :) lol... this study is not definitive or anything, but I"d claim it's representative of what the psych community has been finding out about the bdsm community over the past 15 years, now that they're not just deciding "it's pathological" and constructing studies to "prove" it.
Anyway, the part that especially rings true to me is their measurement (not in the abstract, but quoted in subsequent summaries in industry journals) that 92% of women identified as either subs or switches, only 8% identified as just dommes. LIke I said, I can't remember the last time a stripper turned me down for at least a light playful spanking, and in my real life dating life, the women have been overwhelmingly submissive also, and that absolutely exploded once 50 Shades came out
-->"Just what strippers told me. Used to know one coworkers who was apparently into and he is (much to my surprise) fairly mildly powerful in the corporate one. Of course a sample size one is nothing, so mostly go on the word of the strippers I talked to. Before I learned to get 100 miles away from any of them who are into that shit."
I have news from you: my experience is, 100% of strippers are into that shit LOL! CEO as sub is definitely a thing... we just don't know that that's the norm rather than a super noticeable and interesting exception
And the "CEO as sub" thing might be a correlation in the opposite direction, i.e. sexual submissives are more likely to become CEOs, and not the opposite. :)
A masochist and a sadist went on a date. All night the masochist kept saying, "Hurt me! Hurt me!", and the sadist kept saying, "No."
@GeorgeNanoDong-
While it's true that I know very little about BDSM, my hunch is that most men with your interest in inflicting pain on women were themselves humiliated and abused by women in their early childhood. Perhaps it was an abusive mother or a female teacher that ridiculed your lack of masculinity in front the other children. Your handle does tend to suggest a lack of confidence in your own level of masculinity.
Try getting some therapy, @NanoDong; it's never too late!!
Your hunch is incorrect. But then, you knew that when you wrote it.
I lightly -- and sometimes not-so-lightly -- dominate nearly every stripper I've been with in the VIP. I do ask first, but it's been pretty close to 100% that strippers invite at least light playful spanking, hair pulling, choking, etc., and I'd even say most invite moderate play and beyond -- pretty decent contact pussy spanking, ass spanking, nipple pinching, choking, "yes master"ing, etc. As long as you ask first and check her comfort for contact level, etc., the girls seem incredibly, amazingly inviting of this