Introducing dalcowboyfan

Since Gatorfan has been gone for some time, I have decided to formally take his place with the one-liners.

Who am I?
You will never figure out my identity. I could be anybody.
Here are a few possibilities:

"front room friendliness in AMP's"
"tranny hj's"
"LDK's for under $50"
"the system"
"squawk!"
"DS at Follies"
"Papi Chulo Modes"

Let the one-liners begin!