OT: Spending Money on a Car

I went to a Jaguar dealer the other day.  I’m rich so I can’t be bothered looking at things that don’t make other guys drool. What other guys think is very important to me.

Anyway, soon after I sat down a dealer came over and asked how I was doing.  I told her to leave.  I don’t like it when ladies try to strike up a conversation with me, I’m afraid it will expose my lack of intelligence.

Then I spot this really dapper dealer who just got called over the PA by the manager.  I guess it was his turn to make himself available to the customers.  I was a afraid he wouldn’t notice me so I took $1k in one dollar bills and kept flipping them at him until they were gone.  Then I went back to my seat.  It was such a rush to have everyone in the dealership looking at me.  I know they thought I was really cool.

When he was replaced at the entrance the dealer, my dealer, introduced himself as Bruce and asked if he could sit down.  I said sure.  After about 10 minutes of just sitting there with no words being exchanged I knew this was the dealer I had to give my commission to.

I pointed to the model in the window and told him I wanted him to give it to me.

Him:  The list price is $75k, but I’m sure we can work something out.

Me: How about if I give you $85k?

Him: (Smiling) Sure.

Me:  Okay, you drive a hard bargain.  I’ll give you $95k but only if you allow me to also purchase the extended warranty and floor mats.  Not a penny less.

Him:  Let’s do it.

I threw another $1k in singles at him as I peeled away.  No reason.  I just like the rush.

It was a great day.  Not only did I get to overspend for something, but everybody knows it.  And I also have a new friend that likes me because I’m really cool and not because I gave him money.  I don't even have to pay him to take him out tomorrow night, but I will.  Oh, did I mention before that I’m rich.

Just another day in my life.  That’s how I roll.