Do not disturb

If it's somebody I know I won't be interested in, I just tell 'em "Sure, but I just got here, so I'm not buying drinks or dances yet."

Otherwise, I'll let her sit down and let her try to sell me something. Annoying waitresses get "I'll let you know when I decide."

Just smile and confidently say "no thanks". Your doing them a favor by not waisting there time.

GMD I like that first paragraph! Gets right to the point.

Lone_Wolf you cold bro lol jk. Reminds me of the times I got rejected at the high school dances. The girls would be nice and just say "no thanks". Lol.

GMD said it right you need to grow a pair and not let yourself get pushed around by teenagers in lingerie.

"I absolutely hate it when a girl I'm not interested in comes and sits down by me. Of course 30 seconds after that a waitress will come by doing the buy a dancer a drink hustle. I'm too much of a nice guy, so whenever a dancer asks if she can sit by me, I say yes. Whenever the waitress asks if I want to buy the dancer a drink, I say yes"

so unless i'm misinterpreting this, you buy drinks for dances you aren't interested in? you're right, you are too much of a nice guy.

the one thing i've learned over the years is that dancers look out for each other. they don't mind if you aren't into them and often times they'll help you get the dancer you want. i was at a club not too long ago and i mentioned to one of the dancers that i love latinas (she asked what kinda girls i like). about 10 minutes later, after the dancer i was talking to left to go on stage, another dancer approached me and of course she was latina. as she sat down, she said something along the lines of "i'm looking for this guy, i heard he likes latinas" so right then I KNEW that the other dancer had sent her over to talk to me. only problem is this latina didn't appeal to me at all, but that's besides the point lol

Hide in the restroom for 5 minutes. Come back. If she's still waiting grab the first dancer you see and offer her $5 to pretend to talk to you until the other one gets lost.

Larry, anything said after "No, thank you" is said by the loser -- whether it's said by you or by her. It really is that simple.

Her: Can I sit with you? You: No, thank you. Her: are you sure? You: No, thank you.

The only polite thing you need to do, is don't cut her off when she's talking. That's rude. But once she's asked her question or finished her pitch, I decline with a no thank you. That's about the only time the dancers bitch a whine, is when we don't even allow them the courtesy to finish their first sentence or the first sales pitch.

Also shortly after she sits with me, if invited, I know right away if I'm going to likely buy dancers from her. If no, then I either don't offer a drink or tell her or the waitress no. Again, "no, thank you." Simple and direct. Same with dances. She's free to sit if she wants, but she's sitting for free. Also, along the lines of Lone_Wolf, I Do let her know right away (either first 30 seconds or a couple songs) that "I won't be buying any dances tonight" or "I won't be buying any dances from you tonight" although version 2 sounds rude, so I use it less than the first one. But within a song or 2, she may be charming enough to change my mind, so I offer a drink then (since I've changed my mind). Or maybe I just flat out ASK HER for dances before she even asks. The takeaway, is I'm polite to let her know that I'm not buying dances. She's free to sit and talk, still, if she wants, and many still do. But then, since I've been straight with her, she won't try asking. Sort of head-it-off-at-the-pass and not waste her time. Larry, most, if you really get to talk with them, your rather know that you aren't interested up-front.

You're right that it's a social situation, but remember a SC is a pseudo-social environment. There is a certain direct and transactional aspect to it, still. That's why it's only pseudo-social.

@govikings- when I say not interested in, it doesn't necessarily mean I don't find them attractive, or that I think they're ugly. It just means I'm not interested in doing dances with them. But yeah it happens all the time, a girl will sit down, I'll buy a drink for her. We'll chat for a little bit, she'll ask for a dance, I say not right now, and she'll move on to the next customer. I'm not a big dance guy in the first place, so it's not often when I get dances, I'm more of a stageshow guy.

@chessmaster- LMAO

Yeah Larry, you need to learn how to guard your space -- from the teenagers in lingerie -- that goes for both the dancers and a waitresses. Smiling and confidence helps. Polite and firm. Like GMD, said, you are free to change your mind about the drinks and shoo her away.

There's a difference between being a gentleman and being a doormat.

larry posted: "Are there ways I can show the dancer I'm not interested before she even sits down?"

Sure there is. First, go get a sack transplant, or perhaps even a 2 for 1 sack/spine combo. After that, you may find it easier to stand up for yourself. ;)

When a girl who I don't like asks to sit, I usually just tell her that I would rather chill out by myself for a while. 95%+ percent of the girls get the message and just move on. if they are too stupid to get it, or hold the mistaken impression that they can sell me if they just try hard enough, I let them know in no uncertain terms, though as politely as possible (which sometimes just isn't possible), that they are not my type. Simple.

If you don't control your space Larry then others will control it for you, which makes for a crappy night. This is especially true in clubs with aggressive girls.

The funny thing is how nice and "normal" I seem to the girls that I like. Little do they know how many undesirables I had to blow off to get to them.

Yes, best is to get to her before she sits down. But if you do this, probably that girl will forever be a closed door to you. Certainly if you brush her off more than once, I've seen this. They never forget.

You can take hold of her hand and just say, as others have, "Sorry I'm just getting settled, not ready for drinks or dances yet."

SJG

doxyspotting.com

Led Zeppelin: No Quarter, Earl's Court 5/25/1975 youtube.com

SJG is making a lot more sense nowadays!

Thanks for the insight Dominic.

I too was once a nice guy. Now I tell them I'm waiting for someone, or no when they ask if I want company (or can I sit with you).

I have same problem, and usually will tell them I'm waiting for somebody.

Another variation of this is dancers that are on my B list, and will get dances from them if nothing better is around. Invariably one on the B list will come by as I am waiting for one of the A list to get done with some PL. And it seems like the B list girl will come by just at the point when the A list girl frees up. Shit! End up BSing awhile with the B list girl until she leaves and by that time the A list girl has moved on.

@VeryBigDawg: It's perfectly acceptable to say you're waiting for someone when you really are. :)

I just love the input on this thread from all of the mongerers. You guys collectively sure have a lot of experience with strippers. I'm hoping to retain it all for upcoming visits.

Larry Fisherman, do you mean San Jose Gay or San Jose Guy? Because I get confused with knowing which to pay attention to.

Like Rick, I just tell them I need to chill for a bit. Works fine when said with a smile and nice attitude..

I don't like any dancer just sitting by me. Even if one that might interest me. I call all the shots. Only one thing can change that approach.

@Jim- I'm talking about San Jose Guy.

"... First, go get a sack transplant, or perhaps even a 2 for 1 sack/spine combo. After that, you may find it easier to stand up for yourself ..."

LOL - pretty much it in a nutshell - should be standard advice for newbs that seem to have this issue

Like Dugan - I go w/ the "I just wanna chill by myself for a while" - dancers already know the "I'm waiting for someone" line and although most will take this as "I'm not interested" some of the hardcore hustlers come back w/ "oh yeah who - I'll go get her for you".

The worst ones are the ones that don't ask and either plunk themselves on your lap uninvited or start grinding on you and all over you when you have no interest.

If you buy her a drink, she will think you're interested.

If you say no she'll get the idea quick.

Larry just tell her waiting on somebody. be prepared because sometimes she will ask who...LOL Works every time!

Tell her you are currently getting over a bad case of the herps

Papi, I've hard that happen to me too. The stripper said she would go get her. Then came back and said she wasn't there. My response...."then I'll wait for someone else".

If I'm not sure but I know I don't want to buy her a drink but might not mind if she sat at my table, I will say "if you want to". In response to if I mind if she joins me. That usually prompts her to ask more questions. Most of the time the dancers end up walking away. I guess they figure I'm wasting their time and know I'm not going to buy them a drink or I would have just said ok. If a waitress comes over right after a dancer sits down with me, I almost immediately tell the waitress no. I thought I was a nice guy too but compared to others, maybe I'm more like a dancers boyfriend. Nahh, the dancers boyfriend would tell her she can buy her own drink, plus maybe his too.

The other night it was a slow night at the club. Twice I had dancers with me who had to go to the stage but we're going to return. But as soon as they left, I had at least three dancers hit me up for dances each time. I just told them I was waiting on X dancer on stage and they were all cool about it.

I tell them that I'm waiting on someone and maybe we'll chat next time. That works most of the time....but sometimes the more helpful ones will ask who I am waiting for and offer to go get her for me. That's when I drop the name of a normally unattainable hot dancer that I would never normally be able to get a hold of. Talk about turning a lemon into lemonade!

If the girls don't approach the customers, they won't make any money. Girls talk in the dressing room. The last thing you want to do is get a bad reputation. I recommend just being honest. Just say you are waiting for someone. It isn't a complete lie. You are waiting for a girl who interests you. In the long run, she will appreciate the fact she did not waste a lot of time. A lot of these suggestions have already been posted. But, this usually works for me.

I usually just tell them who I am waiting or looking for. Unless they're new, they know anyway. I'm always polite but stand my ground.