I read about 'current favorite' and 'all-time favorite'. Do any of you deal with

avatar for jojojo897
jojojo897
California
I'm guessing this falls under the gentlemen who don't have the intention of becoming a regular for any dancer or just go to the club to get a couple dances from familiar faces.

If this does actually happen though, is drama inevitable?

Do you negotiate who you choose to spend your club time with?

Would treating one dancer like a secondary when the other is unavailable or vice versa hurt their feelings?

I'm sure the likely answer to any of this would be that most dancers not even caring about it. At least that's what it looks like in my little dilemma. I just hope it stays that way. I still can't help but feel like I should accommodate these two specific dancers in my situation but that's likely due to me being a fresh club goer. I should probably do what some of you other gentlemen do which is to have a favorite and a secondary backup.

Maybe it's time for me to take a break off the club scene or at least the local club I go to. I choose the latter. Enjoying myself with even more dancers in a span of several clubs instead of one would probably make the situation worse.

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avatar for Bavarian
Bavarian
9 years ago
I only deal with one favorite at a time. That means that I only spend on her. I might go to other strip clubs but it's just to hang out with buddies and have a few drinks.

So far I've only had two favorites in a span of 4 years. Someone very special would have to come along for me to move on to favorite #3.

No drama.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
9 years ago
I'm currently playing the field. It would take a really special one for me to go that route. She would have to be willing to drive to my house for OTC and I would have to feel safe enough to go BBFS with her. There are 3 22 yo's in the running but my surgery has put everything on hold.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
9 years ago
As a general rule, the guys who get into hot water and drama are the guys who are pussies and totally intimidated by the strippers. You know how standard parental advice is that you need to be consistent with kids, they will try to break the rules, but if you let them take advantage of you, they get out-of-control, and deep down they want YOU to be in control? With strippers, be confident, clear, and up-front about what your intentions are, and don't let THEM dictate their rules to you -- otherwise, there's 100% chance of drama around who stole whose customer, anger at you, etc. You'll have a much more enjoyable time if you just man up and act like a CUSTOMER, not a boyfriend who is sneaking around and/or scared of his girlfriend.

Obviously enough, some of these girls are so unhinged that no matter how above-board you are, shit will go bad, and you can't help that. But make good choices in your strippers, and it's not a problem.

For me, I enjoy the far greater mileage, YMMV, and intimacy with a favorite, so if my fave is in the club, I am hers 100% -- I'll hang out with just her for my entire 3-4 hour trip, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Every other girl knows that they're competing to be my #2, on days my fave isn't there. I've had zero drama, for years, over this -- but every girl knows where she stands with me, I'm not a little bitch who sneaks around.
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
9 years ago
I agree with Subraman's general approach.

If you're not intending to get dances with a dancer that night when she sits down, let her know. Just tactfully following that one rule should prevent most drama ("I'm just hanging out tonight/for right now", "I'm waiting for someone to come back", "I've got someone coming over"). A dancer who can't handle being told that should not be in your rotation (at least until she can get over that issue - sometimes they will pout and then come back and make extra nice). The rest will be glad to not waste time, and might want to stay and chat anyway. Of course, you have to be able to express preferences on such controversial issues as whether you want a slice of lime in your beer to begin with. ;)

The main reason for me to visit a different club would be when the one I'm at isn't a good time at the moment or it has started to feel stale. It may or may not help with drama avoidance to visit a different club - oftentimes the dancers in the same general area have friends who work at the various other clubs and might spot a regular and mention it to each other. I often casually mention in conversation when I have been to a different club recently anyway (as do dancers), though, so again, no drama.
avatar for Cowboy12
Cowboy12
9 years ago
I am working on finding a #2 dancer.
My CF is very popular and she is often busy when I arrive at the club.
I recently spent time with another dancer while I was waiting for my #1 and we really connected....already got her number.

I talked to my CF and she is cool with the situation.
On Friday, both were working. I spent most of my time with the CF, but told her I wanted to visit with the other dancer, and had no issues.
No drama may be due in part to them both being over 30, so they're more mature than the 20 somethings.

Like others have said, in this and other discussions, you have to be in charge of the situation.
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
9 years ago
^ this, too!

I think almost any dancer would be much happier with the situation of a regular finding another dancer when her schedule gets too full than him sitting and seething that other men are taking up the time of his precious.

Also, not being passive-aggressive and ditching one for the other depending on current events / openly discussing the situation is a good look. :-)
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
Do dancers owe an explanation of who they dance for or spend time with? A custy does not owe a dancer an explanation or a "weak lie" to spare their feelings since the realiaty is they don't have feelings for us - it's a BUSINESS transaction and you best believe that is how 99% of dancers see it - they don't want YOU - they just want your $$$ - one does not need to be all "apologetic" w.r.t. not giving a dancer YOUR $$$ - not that one has to be rude about it - it's a business relationship and it's always best when business parties are civil and above-board.

Only one person can wear the pants in a "relationship" - might as well be you since at least you are the one w/ the $$$ - makes no f'ing sense *even* in the PL-context to give a dancer all your $$$ AND all the power - WTF - that is a recipe for getting used and manipulated since you give all your power & leverage away and when this happens in business you are screwed (and not in a good way).

This topic of how to handle a fave or multiple faves often comes up and many PLs resort to the flight option of the "flee or fight" response (i.e. they either start hitting another club or try to go when one of the faves is not there) - bottom line - you are the customer and you are there to be pleased not to please them - all you owe them is to compensate them fairly when you want her services/time - you don't owe compensating a fave every time you see her in a club (unless it's what you want).
avatar for jojojo897
jojojo897
9 years ago
Thanks for the your input fellas.

It was a busy night being approached by four dancers. I gave them all a heads up on who I'm there for and they all respected it. It took about half an hour before my intended visit took notice. It was a bit funny that while we were caught up with talking, she ended up losing track of her turn on stage which caused the maids go up to clean the stage/poles. Anyway, I'm currently getting in touch with both of them to make it so that I intend to prioritize one over the other due to availability (one seems to have more regulars lined up than the other). They both 'seem' mature enough to assess the situation so hopefully I can make it simple that way. I'll see once I get a proper response.

Six dancers taken to VIP in a span of three months, I think I'll finally try that route of 'current favorite'. There's always a possibility in losing interest but only time will tell. I'm sure the simple remedy would be me switching over to the other or taking a break as said before.
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
9 years ago
Contacting them to tell them who is currently in the #1 spot is a bad idea. It's much better to go with the flow on any given visit with the understanding that any preference only applies to that visit.
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
9 years ago
In other words, Current Favorite isn't a matter of a formal contract. It's who inspires you to sit with her for 3 hours and spend time in the VIP. It sounds like your possibilities are in flux, and given your descriptions, I would be more inclined to prefer the new one than the one who is always busy.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
I don't think you need to run away to another club in order to not deal w/ a dancer - IME 100% of the time when i tell a dancer "no" that I've gotten dances from b/f on several occasions; sure some of them may pout or take it as rejection - but 100% of the time when I've wanted to spend my $$$ on them on a subsequent visit they have been happy to take my $$$.

Dancers *absolutely* know custies want variety and want to be w/ another dancer(s) - they know this - but if you don't set the rules/boundaries they will take advantage of the "power vacuum".
avatar for jojojo897
jojojo897
9 years ago
I blame my blunt personality with getting things situated. I'm a person of logical thinking so I felt that contacting them was the best scenario to go with to make my intentions clear. It's a business and we're customers at the end of the day. Looking for what's best for their business and satisfying my needs should be a given. As for going with the flow? That mindset isn't always a good idea from my perspective. It's very situational which in this case I avoided. I pretty much apply my preference before I head over there. No use wasting my time if they aren't available. Isn't that why we get their phone numbers in the first place (aside from 'out the club' situations)? Anyway, I have already gotten in touch with both of them and everything is all settled. I can't read their actual emotions through text but what was said makes everything seem fine. Still, I like your take on 'current favorite'. I'll keep that thought in mind. I intend to make my visits towards the dancer who is less busy and/or has less regulars but if something comes up then I'm sure I can enjoy myself with the other if she's available as well as any other familiar face in the club who I've had a good time with. Sucks that I can't get the best of both worlds with one dancer. Both of them cater to me differently but the club life isn't as simple as it seems. I'm sure if someone like that ever shows up, she'll probably become an 'all-time favorite'.
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
9 years ago
The thing about going with the flow is that conditions are always changing. Maybe a bunch of whales have come in since your list visit and her motivation has dropped. Maybe she broke up with her boyfriend, and her interest in your company has increased. If you decide beforehand on one or the other, you're more likely to be pursuing a lost cause so to speak, or missing out on a great opportunity.
avatar for JamesSD
JamesSD
9 years ago
My experience has been you can turn down a dancer for dances once, but if you turn her down a second time in a row, she'll stop approaching.

Some dancers won't take well to bring your second choice, others get the game and will appreciate if you don't waste he time when you're not buying.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
9 years ago
I kind of go with who's available among dancers I like. One dancer seems intent on keeping me as a regular but I have told her not right now because I wanted dances from other dancers on certain nights. She wasn't happy when I kept telling that. Probably the same result no matter what I told her. In my opinion, I do not have any favorites right now but there are a few girls I will get dances from and all the others are probably no thanks. There are a couple of new ones I might try out though. One dancer lives less than 30 minutes away and we both remembered that fact. She approached me again last night even though I declined getting dances again. If I only buy the two for ones, once an hour, then I usually only get two or 3 sets of dances before I decide to leave.

The last thing I want to do is wait around for one specific dancer.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
9 years ago
That was one thing I liked about Platinum Plus, the girls did two for one specials anytime and I had some nights where I had over 8 favorites show up. In just 2 or 3 hours, I could spend a lot of money with dances only being 10 to 15 dollars a pop. Dancers are so inconsistent with schedules and when they work at a given club, I was constantly trying out different dancers. They would come and go and the only ones who routinely showed up when I did, almost always got dances from me. You know they are favorites when you're stuck in a traffic jam on I85 about 1am walking around past other cars on the interstate and found out 2 of your favorites said hi to you as you walked past their car.
avatar for jojojo897
jojojo897
9 years ago
I do get what ppwh is saying on going with the flow. I could always just ask both of them ahead of time if they're working on a certain day and leave it at that. Then I'll head to the club to see what I'm in the mood for or take notice on which of my favored dancer decides to keep me company first. Maybe they're both busy or aren't interested on my arrival. That'a fine too. I'll still enjoy myself with someone else or take my leave without denting my wallet. Whatever happens, at least this is opening some doors on any great opportunity may arrive just as ppwh says.

I did have an instance of a similar situation like you sharkhunter but not as bad. She wasn't as butt-hurt about it but still tried to make some negotiations with me. I doubt she would pursue to make me her regular since I've only went VIP with her once. I'm ready to deny her again if I have to as I already mentioned that I'm here for so and so. Don't really have an interest in taking her back to VIP either...no connection of interests.
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