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Stripper keeps bailing on meeting OTC - what to do?

Avatar for Tedhe
Tedhe

Hello all,

First time poster to this site, I recently met a dancer who I am getting a great vibe from and great dances from - we have exchanged numbers and know each other's real names - I have seen her 5-6 times already.

We have talked about meeting OTC and have discussed a rate and where to meet, but she has committed to doing so and then bails last minute.

She says she is going back and forth in her head on if she wants to do this - any strategies on how to make this finally work?

Thanks in advance!

T

Comments

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Avatar for K
K

choose some place neutral like a restaurant near the hotel. A few drinks and a chat may calm her nerves and let her pretend this is a date ending in sex rather than a p2p arraignment.

Avatar for TheeOSU
TheeOSU

I wouldn't equate her constant bailing with having a great vibe. She will continue to string you along as long as she keeps getting your money in the club.

Avatar for rockstar666
rockstar666

I'd say dancers have bailed on me around 50% of the time, even when they set the date! Par for the course.

Avatar for Tedhe
Tedhe

K - Good Call, I can see if that angle works

TheeOSU - Great point, one of the main reasons I want her OTC is because we've pretty much maxed out what we can do in ITC - I'm torn between seeing her at the club and pursuing this and feeling like I'm getting stringed- thoughts?

Avatar for Tedhe
Tedhe

Rockstar666 - did persistence ever pay off?

Avatar for K
K

Theeosu is right. If she is making enough in the club she is not going to start otc. You don't have a great vibe with her. She has a great vibe with your wallet.

But once she needs the money and agrees to otc, you sometimes need to help it along. My suggestion may help. If it doesnt , I suggest you cut your losses and stop getting dances in the club from her entirely.

Avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf

Depending on how bad you want it, ask her out for a quick, non-fucking lunch (offer a little $). If she balks, accept that she will never do OTC with you and adjust your spending accordingly.

Avatar for rockstar666
rockstar666

Tedhe: Only rarely. If she bails more than once and you've never fucked her, you won't ever fuck her. She's just playing games. But if she sometimes shows and sometimes bails, that's normal for a dancer, so you have to decide if she's worth it.

Avatar for Tedhe
Tedhe

Great points!

This has more to do with my wallet then me

Avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69

Based on my own experience I never do OTC with a reluctant dancer. I want them totally committed to it or else the experience will likely be mediocre. So I'd move on. 5-6 club visits is way more than is needed for her to get comfortable with the idea. Either she's stringing you along with no intent of following through, or when she finally shows it won't be worth it. Either way, you should find a better stripper.

Avatar for Subraman
Subraman

-->"I wouldn't equate her constant bailing with having a great vibe. She will continue to string you along as long as she keeps getting your money in the club."

That bears repeating. It's a stripper's job to make it feel like you have a great vibe ... you really have no idea whether you actually have a great vibe, or whether it's all smoke and mirrors, brilliantly created by her. Even the real name thing can be a calculated part of her hustle. Usually, it's the latter. And, as TheeOSU says, the smart strategy on her part, even if she has no intention of going OTC with you, is to do exactly what she's doing... flake on OTCs, tell you she's conflicted, etc.

That said, strippers can be legitimately conflicted, and flake regularly without any reason at all. I've done something in your position, that most guys here will howl at, but has worked for me multiple times... If I truly believe the girl is on the fence, but a little push will move her one way or the other, I'll make things as easy for her as I can. "We'll start off with dinner and drinks, and if you end up uncomfortable and calling it off, no worries (but with no payment). And, in the room, if you're only comfortable with BJ or even HJ (at a suitably reduced rate), I'm okay with that. All your call." I have, more than once, gotten a girl over the hump and OTCing with me, once I gave her a lot more freedom. And once they show up and get some drinks in them, they very rarely limit the sexual activity to BJ or HJ -- although you have to be prepared for that to happen.

Avatar for Tedhe
Tedhe

Subraman - Well said! I don't have any illusion that my wallet is the key target here, and to be perfectly honest - I am good with that. I know what this is.

The ability to get this girl OTC is a fantasy - that's it - I have relayed many times to her that I don't want anything personal and would prefer to keep it professional. So maybe a little nudge is in order?

Avatar for Imamutt
Imamutt

You're getting solid advice here. Be careful of spoiling her too much. I found myself doing more and more and being taken for granted. Once she presumes to know your disposable cash budget, she'll likely have you depriving yourself to afford more unless you set boundaries at the start.

Avatar for flagooner
flagooner

"...and feeling like I'm getting stringed- thoughts?"

99% of the time you feel like you are being stringed along by a stripper, you are.

98.9% of the time you don't feel like you are being stringed along by a dancer, you are.

Avatar for shailynn
shailynn

The only solution that hasn't been mentioned is offer more money. If she flakes then - then I would certain quit persuing it.

Avatar for Tedhe
Tedhe

All solid advice!

I am just unfamiliar of the rules in this world - I think the best course of action is to slow things down and go scarce a bit - nothing is more boring then to ask for the same thing over and over again.

I'm not looking for a partner here, just a hottie to have fun with. Period.

Avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael

Make the offer just one more time, but gently explain that if she bails again, then you won't offer again and your wallet is closed to her.

Of course, the critical factor here is that you need to mean it, and follow through accordingly.

Strippers are infinite; your time and money are not.

Avatar for shailynn
shailynn

^^^^ if you're a member of the motherfuckin $350k club your money IS infinite!!!! Lol

Avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong

Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, thrice is enemy action.

Back off, with something like "I get that you're conflicted. Think about it for a bit and I'll lay off for a while."

Then start spending a little less money. :)

Avatar for s88
s88

Before the SC, get some $100 bills and put them in your wallet. Next time you her ITC, DONT buy any LDs, just discuss OTC and casually show her all the $100s, dont say you will give her all of them, it is just a psychological thing for her. Like a pussy seeing a squirrel. It might convince her if she doesn't get them, some other stripper will offer OTC tonight to you and get those $100s.

Avatar for kiddo
kiddo

I would spend money on other dancers, but be really friendly to her. Wait a couple months and see what happens. It usually doesn't work out for either one. If you do get her in the sack, you'll likely not be satisfied with dances any more. She knows that. Why would she want to give up your business in the club? I've dated OTC a few times, and a few were not for $$ (especially when I was younger). Now, occasionally, I'll date OTC for dinner, and let her make the next move. Sometimes great, sometimes just good food and company.

Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

Do what Rech does & text her some dick pics - works for him but apparently Rech has a very photogenic dick.

Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

Welcome to the OTC club & stripper bizarro world where one learns that strippers being honest & following thru are the exception to the rule.

Best thing a SC playa can do is set his expectations low that way he won't be disappointed.

Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

^^^Just send her one of Hecks dick pics

Avatar for Tedhe
Tedhe

Lol well said papi_chulo!

I enjoy the wackiness that is this little hobby, just want to make sure I understand the rules of the game!

Avatar for Tedhe
Tedhe

I can relate to one thing - if we do go OTC, this fantasy will die off pretty fast after we bang. That I can imagine being a motivator to keep things ITC

Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

It depends on one's M.O. - most PLs actually get hooked & will come crying to the board when their OTC pussy dumps them or won't answer their texts.

But if you're a variety hit-it -and-quit-it PL then perhaps it may be a one & done.

Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

Papi what do you mean most PLs get hooked and come crying to the board that's just JS69 and his aliases, ;)

Avatar for Tedhe
Tedhe

In all honesty - all I want out of this girl is pay and play, keep it casual and fun.

No serious emotions. No strings attached.

Avatar for K
K

Tedhe

"- all I want out of this girl is pay and play, keep it casual and fun.

No serious emotions. No strings attached., "

that's what most of want, until we don't .

Avatar for Tedhe
Tedhe

K - interesting point...

Could you elaborate on what you mean "until we don't" - is the pursuit of something like this not worth it? Or do guys generally become a PL?

Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

Most guys don't become PLs - they were already PLs & they just become aware of it

Avatar for Tedhe
Tedhe

LOL

What are the traits of a SC Playboy then?

Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

We're all PLs - some are just clueless or don't want to admit it

:)

Avatar for flagooner
flagooner

"- all I want out of this girl is pay and play, keep it casual and fun.

No serious emotions. No strings attached., "

We all tell ourselves that at the beginning...

It rarely ends that way.

Avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe

Lay a dukey on her head and dont forget your shovel

Avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong

@Tedhe: Human male brains are wired such that genuine affection, even sometimes love, is almost inevitable after a period of time having sex with the same woman. Hormones released by your body, and pheromones released by hers are the primary cause.

See her and fuck her often enough, and you'll soon join the ranks of PL extraordinaire.

Because technically, serotonin and dopamine are the only things you really like.

Avatar for rockstar666
rockstar666

georgemicrodong sez: @Tedhe: Human male brains are wired such that genuine affection, even sometimes love, is almost inevitable after a period of time having sex with the same woman. Hormones released by your body, and pheromones released by hers are the primary cause.

This is true, except the phenomenons stop working when you get married.

Avatar for RandomMember
RandomMember

Yet another thread about the difficulty of paying hookers for sex.

Avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong

@rockstar: No, they stop being released when you get married. For some unlucky souls anyway. :)

After a long enough period of no serotonin and dopamine release the fresh flush when fucking a new pussy starts working its magic. Thus mid-life crises and PLs. :)

Avatar for unclewillSea
unclewillSea

Cut the hoe off. Spend your money with another hoe at her club.

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