Strippers

Nice - post it on StripperWeb

Awesome!

More! More! More!

A good way to start a morning! Thanks.

Q What's the best thing to get for lunch at a strip club? A BBBJBLT

Q How can I know if a stripper is playing me? A Does she refer to you as a violin or a cello?

Q Would a stripper's husband be mad if he caught her having sex with me in their house? A Yes. He doesn't want her to bring her work home with her.

Q What can I give a stripper that she never got from her husband? A Child support.

Q How do you make it rain? A Seed the clouds.

Q Why do women hate it when their husbands go to strip clubs? A They don't like to know that men are having fun.

Q I've been texting this stripper 25 times a day to tell her I love her, but she never replies. What can I do to convince her that we're meant to be together? A Text her more often.

Q What did the stripper say after she lost her virginity? A Get off me, Dad.

Q When is a stripper too drunk? A When she can't spread her legs.

Q What's the best wine to buy for a stripper? A A whitetrash zinfandel.

Q Why is it better to have sex with a Jewish stripper? A Because you can catch an STD from gentile to gentile contact.

Q I'm going out on a date with a stripper. How can I tell when the date is over? A She'll put her panties back on.

Q I met this sexy stripper. Do you think she's out of my league? A What night do you bowl on?

Q Where do strippers lose their virginity? A On a pool table.

Q What name should I use when I go to a strip club? A Benjamin Franklin.

Q How can I impress a stripper when I take her out to dinner? A Go to Burger King but don't use the drive-up window.

Q What did the stripper's kid bring to school for show and tell? A Head lice.

Q How does a stripper's boyfriend remember her bra size? A It's the same as his IQ.

Q Why didn’t the stripper go to her high school prom? A She couldn't find a baby sitter.

Q What person is most admired by strippers? A Jack Daniels.

Q What do you call a stripper's birth control pills? A Crime stoppers.

Q Why don't strippers marry their high school sweetheart? A It's against the law to marry your brother.

Q What's the best gift to give a stripper for Christmas? A A gift card to the House of Tattoos.

Q What does a stripper think "genitalia" is? A An Italian airline.

Q How does a stripper's boyfriend help with domestic chores? A He deposits a load in his dishwasher.

Q Why did the stripper have two black eyes? A Her boyfriend had to ask for his beer twice.

Q There's a hot stripper at the club. How do I get into her panties? A Pick them up off the floor.

Q Why do strippers shave their pussies? A Their mothers told them never to let men see their pubic hair.

Q I keep offering this stirpper money but she won't put my wiener in her mouth. Why not? A She's a vegetarian.

Q How can I write off my strip club expenses on my taxes? A Tell the IRS you gave the money to Charity.

Q I don't get you guys who are infatuated with strippers. Why give money to a woman who will never have sex with you? A Because it reminds us of what it was like when we were married.

Q What's the best way to pick up a stripper? A Lift with your legs, not your back.

Q What's the worst thing about having sex with a stripper? A The guys waiting impatiently in line behind you.

Q What's the difference between a stripper and a bowling ball? A You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

Q Why don't strippers have hair on their pussies? A Does grass grow on a busy highway?

Q What advice do you have about eating a stripper's pussy? A Once you get past the smell you've got it licked.

Q What do you call a stripper with political opinions? A Wrong.

Q Can anything beat a stripper giving you a blow job? A Yes. Her boyfriend.

Q Why do strippers dance to Rihanna? A They can relate to her greatest hits.

Q Why did the stripper's boyfriend break up with her? A He wanted to be free to hit other women.

Q What does a stripper's boyfriend do when his dishwasher stops working? A He hits her.

Q Why are strippers like carnival rides? A Everyone gets a turn, and when you get off you want to puke.

Q How can you tell that a stripper isn't really that into you? A She spits.

Q This stripper says she likes me. How can I tell if she's a gold digger? A Check for a pick and shovel in the back of her pickup truck.

Q Who makes more money: a drug dealer or a stripper? A A stripper because she sells the same crack over and over.

Q How many cops does it take to push a stripper down the stairs? A None. "She fell."

Q What do you tell a stripper with two black eyes? A Nothing. You already told her twice.

Q What's the difference between Jello and a dead stripper? A Jello wiggles when you eat it.

Q What should I do if a stripper is screaming and bleeding in my hotel room? A Shoot her again.

Q Why don't I ever see politicians in strip clubs? A Strippers don't want to get a bad reputation.

Q How can I get a stripper's attention? A Yell "whore!"

Q What's the difference between an onion and a stripper? A People cry when they chop up an onion.

Q What do I need to give a stripper so she'll have sex with me? A A black eye.

Q What will happen if I tell an attractive young woman that I like pussy more than legs or breasts? A You'll get kicked out of KFC.

Q What's your secret for getting stripers to have sex with you? A Roofies.

Q What's the best hotel to take a stripper to? A HoJos.

Q Why are strippers like paleontologists? A They both study homo erectus.

Q Im a stripper and I wanna know if I could stop dancing and join the military? A You could be an army sniper since you know how to take shots.

Q Why do you feel compelled to drink in strip clubs? Nothing good ever came from drinking. A Drinking lets me ignore irritating, sanctimonious twits.

Q During OTC, how do I keep a stripper from leaving the motel before the hour is up? A Handcuffs.

Good stuff, guys. Keep it rollin !

@jack - Excellent use of time! LOL

Rotflmao