Kind of a long story....but arent they all :-) Update number 3

Why stay away for so long? I seriously get the impression that you think she is toxic in some way so you have to stay away for a while. If so, I think that's silly. Go play with your new lust interest and enjoy your new found outlet. You deserve it after however long you've lived in the wasteland that is sex within marriage for most guys.

You're right to get the test done and to not fuck the wife at the moment, easy as that may be. But the odds are overwhelming that you caught nothing. So start planning your next trip to see her ASAP. The test will be negative and then you can play to your hearts content.

If the tests show negative I will probably go see her again this weekend. With protection of course

$229 for STD testing sounds like a lot, there are community clinics that will do it for free.

The STD clinics will give you HIV results on the spot (w/ results for other STDs taking a few days)

^^^ can you go to those of you have health insurance?

You know ewire, when pressed and you explain things more thoroughly you seem like a pretty well grounded and prepared guy, one that has his shit together. Are you sure you're cut out for this kinda thing?

You talk about changing shirts, showering, etc etc which takes a lot of preparation, I know I would fuck up eventually at home. Lucky for me I only club when I am out of town so I have no worries and can be relatively care free.

Over the years I've had some long term relationships with dancers and emotions got pretty deep at times, this stuff is not for the faint of heart.

My best advice is if you have somewhat deep pockets and the personality to accept rejection and drama at times then go for it. Just don't over analyze everything like you're doing a little now - just enjoy the ride - go with the flow!!!

Damn did mine at STD-testing.com and it included a full 10 STD panel so it works out to about $24.00 a test. Was not happy with the price but just wanted to get it done and get results so I can figure out next steps

Go fuck if tests come back all good!

Also did not use insurance I think with it, would have been half that price. The issue is my wife has access to all my health insurance so she would have seen that come in. I went with more money but more anonymity

Shaiylynn yeah I am well enough off that I may not qualify for a clinic. I am not rich by any means but solid middle class for sure.

Am I cut out for this is a great question. I am pretty thorough guy one of my jobs has been a project manager. The key is not to let your guard down or you will make a mistake. Emotionally I am old enough to understand that this is about money and fantasy only so I think I can keep things strait.

I have limited money for these things, and long term is not an option so I think its going to be short term thing and Just enjoy it for a little while then back to reality.

"... can you go to those of you have health insurance ..."

In the context of the free STD clinics; I have been using them up to a few months ago and I have health insurance - the one I go to has never asked me for payment nor if I have health insurance nor if I am able to pay - in the past they would ask if you wanted to make a donation and I usually donated 20-bucks; but now they don't even take donations (perhaps the employees where pocketing them? although I think one can still make a donation online if they wish).

Before Obama Care when there were lots of people w/o health insurance these clinics were greatly needed; but now w/ Obama Care and most people seemingly having health insurance IDK if these free clinics will still be around athough i used one a couple of months ago.

ewire: Here's a funny story. As a general rule, I stay very safe even doing extras. I realize some folks have different ways of assessing risk than I do, and no judgement meant, I just tend to be on the conservative side. For example, I don't do BBBJ as extras, especially ITC. Well, a few years back, my stripper and I were ITC getting ourselves worked up, and then she just did it -- we hadn't negotiated for it at all, but she just put her mouth on my uncovered unit and started sucking. I got her off pretty quick, but still ... she'd done it.

In the next two days, it started to burn when I peed. Uh oh. I was married at the time, BTW; my sex life had slowed down a bit by this time, maybe once a week, but we still had a sex life. Anyway, doctor tested me, and he said a word I remembered forever: urethritis. It's inflammation of the urethra, usually caused by bacterial infection but you're never quite sure. Still, I was able to come home to my then-wife and say, "doctor tested me for everything. He thinks I have urethritis, we're awaiting results". Anyway, the fact that I was able to say the name of a non-STD meant she wasn't suspicious, AND we had a reason not to have sex.

BTW, it came back that I didn't have any STD or urethritis. My urine was completely clear. My guilty mind had completely invented the pain on urination, and the moment the doctor told me I was clear, it never burned again. Happy ending!

Anyway, I recommend remembering that term -- doctor says you might have urethritis, it's kinda like a UTI, of COURSE it's not an STD, you haven't been doing anything that could possibly expose you to an STD, but better not have sex until the doctor confirms results and it gets treated.

Based on what you've described in your posts - and how you are in a solid middle class income area - I'd say $229 isn't a bad price to pay for piece of mind.

Once you get your clean bill of health - it's all good. You've learned - and you know how quickly things can slip inside.

I've gotten all mine done for free at the health department. The last time I got a nice lecture from the nurse administering the tests but who gives a shit. All clean so far.