Falling for a stripper: Please snap me out of it
Long time anonymous lurker, 1st time poster...so of course I'm going bring up a much oft discussed topic.TL;DR - After 4 VIP sessions (and a sizeable chunk of change) in 2 days less than a week apart with the same girl, plus her saying "I love you" a couple times, I've unfortunately let her get into my head big time. Bring me back to reality.
I consider myself an experienced amateur, I know enough to be dangerous, but not enough to always to be fully aware of my situation. I go to clubs only a few times a year and have been doing so for about 10 years now since I was in my early 20s. It was time for one of those trips and went to a club I hadn't been to before.
I bought a drink for and started chatting with a dancer who wasn't my usual type, but who I was still very drawn to; mid 20s, tall, slim with a great ass, smaller tits with awesome little nipples. She came off as authentic, and made great conversation with minimal SS, even spending a ton of time chatting about the same nerdy TV shows and other things we both liked (I never hit it off with strippers because I usually find their small talk too boring/fake). She even got me to talk about my wife and surprisingly happy marriage as she also talked about her serious long term bf. After some LFK (weird transition, huh?), I asked her to the VIP without her even bringing it up first. Curtains closed and immediate DFK somehow led to daty, which thankfully led to her telling me everything on her menu (which was admittedly a little pricey), and a bbbj was negotiated and performed with perfection. Went back up and chatted with DFK and cuddling for about an hour until she offered FS, and I couldn't resist. Went back down for my first ever FS ITC (amazing doggy) and 1st time doing 2 VIP sessions in one trip. We exchanged phone numbers and I headed home.
The first couple days after, there was some texting on her end, including some of the typical "I'm working today, come see me" shit. Against my better judgement I set up a time a few days later to go back and see her. When I came in, she immediately came to me with a kiss, then we got some drinks and chatted. I got to watch how all the other girls loved her and talked to her (which made her even more attractive to me) and she shared stories (most all friendly and funny) about each girl in the club. We went down to the VIP and after like 10 minutes of DFK, we went to BBBJ, to daty (per her request), and then finished back to bbbj. She let me decide how much I thought it was worth, and we went back up to hang out. During her sets shortly afterwards, she was pretty popular with the crowd, but whenever she was tipped, she wouldn't give the guy the same show she gave me on stage when I tipped her. She even leaned away from a kiss attempt by a supposed regular and turned it into a hug as she pointed over towards me as she went away from him.
This went on for an hour until we went back down for yet another second VIP trip. I told her I literally just wanted dances, but it wasn't long before her wandering hands and mouth convinced me I wanted FS from her again. The hat went on and CG led to a finish in doggy. Gave her the expected tip, we cleaned up and went up those stairs yet again. Our chat this time was again about each others relationships (even sharing pictures per her request which I oddly felt very comfortable doing with her), and then she eventually said it: "I love you," but she was clear to specify that didn't mean "in love." After a little more LFK, she said it again, and I reciprocated for some reason that time. Shortly afterward, I headed home.
I'm a bit confused now, and am having more trouble than usual leaving my usually temporary emotions back at the club. She's on vacation with her boyfriend for a few days, so beside a couple texts, I've got some time to think and reevaluate. Am I being hustled by an all-star, at the beginning of a long game, buttered up for some OTC, or dealing with a dancer who's actually got some feelings for me. I like to believe my particular looks, younger age, relationship status, and personality makes me naturally come off as "safe" to dancers. But I've never gotten this gotten this kind of reaction before and this girl is really getting in my head. Someone snap me out of these PL goggles I can't take off and help me understand what's going on!
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Yes sir !
You are getting 100% value for your time and money. With 0% baggage. What's not to love. You only live once. Enjoy the moment.
She's got a great thing going here. She's maxing out her potential with you. Odds are that she's got the string-em-along stripper thing working for her and she knows that you are money in the bank.
Yes she could have feelings for you - it's not impossible. But it is very improbable. Enjoy the ride, fuck her brains out, but don't break the bank. Give it time and see what happens. Easiest test is of course to stop spending money on her in the club and see how she treats you.
1. You just did 4 pricey VIPs and now she's going on a short vacay with her BF - guess who just paid for that vacay?
2. Several strippers will throw out "I love you" sounding like they really mean it to anyone. My retired ATF did the same thing to me, after 1 visit and 1 night together, 2 weeks later she's telling me she "loves me" on the phone, yeah I liked it, but it freaked me out at the same time, and eventually I figured it was a phrase to not take seriously.
3. Talking about a wife and boyfriends is crossing a line I do not like to cross. I keep those lives separate (strip club life, personal life) and feel it's easier that way.
4. TV Shows knowledge = savvy stripper!!!! I met a stripper awhile back who was full of knowledge about NCAA and NBA basketball which made me honry talking about it. After I got to know her better she said it was all a scheme for something just to talk to guys about to get more money out of them. The smart strippers will try to become knowledgeable on subjects guys like so they have something to talk about, whether it be sports, cars, guns, TV shows, etc. etc. When you have something in common to talk about, conversation flows much more smoothly which will usually open up wallets more as well.
5. There's nothing wrong with what you said so far, and only you know what you can afford on those expensive VIP trips, so I suggest you do what you feel comfortable with. If that's once a month or once a week do what works best for you.
Lastly - being younger does have its advantages inside the club, although breaking the barrier is tough. I am under 40 and still have a tough time getting attention in the club. Younger strippers and usually bad at determining age and often say I look under 30, which is a bad thing because most assume I don't have a lot of money to spend so they write me off. BUT once they do discover I can spend freely, they sure like doing ITC with me over some guy in their 50s or 60s. Guys like you and I are still young enough that there is a more likely but still subtle chance of mutual attraction between a stripper and you.
Stringing along is what Nina did to the PL who spent 20-30k and did not get his willy wet.
None of which doesn't mean you aren't a favored customer of hers... but in addition, it probably also means she's a talented salesperson who has profiled you correctly as being vulnerable to this kind of lovey-dovey hustle. It always cracks me up how these types of strippers throw out "I love you" so easily and quickly. C'mon, she said she loves you after what, two trips in the club? Even for a smitten regular, when you see it typed out like that, you have to realize it's ridiculous, right?
Enjoy the ride if you can keep yourself under control, but the fact that you'd even question this makes me think you might be better off running... which, of course, you won't do :)
Jackslash...that's a typically funny response from your good self :-)
But she sounds like an awesome stripper. So keep fucking her and enjoy it. Start taking her on OTC dates. Just don't fall in love. Enjoy the shit out of the fantasy that she's your girlfriend, but always know that she's not your girlfriend. The key is to enjoy the fantasy like it's real while all the time knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that it's not real.
If you can't make those clear distinctions, then stop seeing her immediately.
If you can't do that, then don't see her either. She's not your girlfriend in any sense of that term. She's just an extraordinary actress.
Assume she really does love you. If she falls in love with you that easily, she will fall in love with someone else just as easily. If she leaves her BF for you, she will leave you for the next guy. You've spent no time in the real world building a relationship.
Enjoy the fantasy in the club. Leave it there. Walk away if you can't
No reason for me to go on and on. If you start having these "feelings" again - come back and read Lopaw and Shailynn comments. You've got a wife for your feelings - not a P4P dancer!!!
Advice noted, wallet getting put back in my pocket.
someone they are dating outside of the club. This always helps me keep my emotions in check.
I take breaks from visiting the clubs as well. This helps too. I also have seen girls being dropped off by their boyfriends so that shoots me back to reality. Nothing kills a good time at a showclub by wanting to visit with just one entertainer. I do my best to avoid spending all of my time with just one girl.
She is stripping and fucking because she wants money to come fast and easy, NOT because she is a stable, conservative, financial genius. She may like you, she may just like your money. The only way you'll ever know the difference will be to see her OTC for a while. If she buys, or cooks, dinner then fucks you repeatedly without P4P, it is possible that she enjoys your company. If she finally kicks the loser boyfriend out so you can come stay at her place, she probably really likes you.
If you see her often enough, you will be part of her next financial crises and the big fight with her loser boyfriend. You will be asked to fork over money for the electric bill, moving, fixing her car and any number of other emergencies. Whether she really likes you, or not, she will assume that if you care about her you will pay. She will eventually get mad at you and scream and yell, then (if she has busted up with her boyfriend) she will insist on making up with an entire night of steamy sex. She will likely drop off the grid for days or even weeks. She may even start texting you way too often and at awkward times (like texting you while she is giving some other PL a lap dance)
If you want to see more of this stripper, you can manage it. It will be a twisting, strange journey. It will NOT all be fun. But hell, it might include some of the best sex you'll ever have.
" I like to believe my particular looks, younger age, relationship status, and personality makes me naturally come off as "safe" to dancers. But I've never gotten this gotten this kind of reaction before and this girl is really getting in my head. Someone snap me out of these PL goggles I can't take off and help me understand what's going on!"
Yes, you are probably dream customer, you shave, you shower and wash your dick, wear deodorant, own a washing machine, no beer belly or gang tats. Do you wear rough (blue jeans) or soft fabric pants to the SC? Strippers hate rough fabric. If she is getting in your head, it means you have a keeper stripper. I goto sleep every night dreaming about my ATF. I still know that in a couple months I will have to say goodbye forever to her since she will move back home. ATF knows Im poor and I have a budget, but Im much better than typical SC customers. I FIV her only with permission. I dont try to recruit her for "dancing at private parties" or "modeling". I let her talk about her life and not my life, etc.
@Timex345 With my ATF, I've driven her to the SC once for her shift, and picked her up another time. So it might not be a BF but a customer. Some strippers have attachment problems, they have multiple BFs or guy friends or regulars due to daddy issues. I'll exploit her daddy issue and attachment issue aslong as I can OTC. My ATF told me on the 2nd time we met, I am not the only guy in her life, and she left it at that. I told her immediately after, that she isnt the only dancer I know in the club and there were others before she started working here, and she then acknowledged that she knows Im a SC customer. Aslong as both sides know there is no exclusiveness, there cant be hurt feelings.
When I was new to the scene, I dated several OTC, but it was just the long con. Requests for money outside of OTC for every bullshit reason you can imagine. I withheld my money, and they all went away except one. I stayed with her for 2 years, and then I discovered a ferocious opiate habit. She's in rehab now, and the fun and fantasy is over. Bottom line...Keep it in the club, or see someone else if she's pulling at your heartstrings.