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Facebook Friends - An Open Invetation To Sex?

Apr 7, 2016, 8:47 PM

They never tell you what you need to know.

Oh Facebook, I am rarely on there, and Mrs. S is not and never will have a Facebook account. You would have to do some deep searching through my photos to even know I am married, she doesn't like her photos on there. I think over 8 years of photos she's in maybe 5.

If you're like me, I have a ton of "friends" on there and most of them I haven't seen in 15+ years. Some I occasionally see in a grocery store and we walk by each other like strangers. Anyway my point is there is the girl/woman who friended me a few years ago and I cannot remember her for the life of me. Over the past year or so she has started posting several photos of herself (instead of just her kids) and she is gorgeous and even has posted photos of herself in a bikini. She is also married, and her husband is ugly as fuck, but judging by the photos it looks like they get along well. She is a kept woman though, has 3 kids and doesn't work, seems to have a nice life with a nice house and nice cars. She lives in a town about 30 minutes south of me.

I decided to investigate (Facebook stalk) and it appears I went to Jr High with her as our mutual friends are all from the same Jr High. We both have a large number of "Facebook friends" but only share 13 mutual friends. All of these mutual friends went to the same Jr High as me, and apparently her. Of these 13 mutual friends, all of them were in the grade ahead of me, I am the only one in the grade behind everyone else. Of the 13, 11 of them are girls and 1 guy is one of my best friends (who also was a year ahead of me in school) and he can't remember her either. Our theory is we must have went to Jr High with her and she moved away for high school. Maybe she was fugly back then and that's why we don't remember her, but she's gorgeous now.

She "likes" at least 75% of the photos I post, which I rarely post. I think I've posted 2 photos so far this year.

I would do her in a heartbeat. Is this some stupid fantasy I have, or should I send her an innocent message? Like, "Hey I really enjoyed your photos of you and your kids at the pumpkin patch (your daughter is so cute) but I don't remember you too well, did you go to XXXXXX Jr. High with me?"

I mean, I'd like to say "hey I like banging strippers but I'd love to bang you and that would save me a lot of money," but I'm thinking that may be a little too direct.

comments (13)

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shailynn9 years ago

I prefer a more non-direct approach. Maybe if I offer to bring Chackin Fangers and Four Loko - think that will seal the deal?

jackslash9 years ago

Fuck her right in the pussy.

georgmicrodong9 years ago

An innocuous "We apparently went to the same junior high, but I'm not putting a name to your face. Were you only there a little while, or was I Captain Oblivious?" message like the one you posted should be good enough.

On the other hand, if you want to accelerate things a bit:

"How about you and me tie your husband up and make him watch us fuck?"

"I eat pussy."

"Is this a mouse in my pocket, or are you looking reeeealllyyyy hot?"

"My wife won't let me look at your pictures on Facebook anymore. How about we hook up so I can put some on my phone?"

JohnSmith699 years ago

I would casually mention that you have taken graduate level courses in performing cunninglingus

JamesSD9 years ago

Her liking your photos means nothing. Some people click like on everything.

You could certainly send a casual feeler type message, but I wouldn't get your hopes too high.

shailynn9 years ago

I could say I am a new professor at JS69 College.

Ugh I don't think there's anyway I can contact this broad without coming across like a creep. The only way I don't come of as a creep is if she has the same feelings as me.

I could also say "listen I just went down on a stripper that probably fucked 5 guys before me so it goes without question that I'm a rather open minded guy. As long as you don't force me to eat asparagus I'll do anything you want. As long as your husband doesn't have a vast gun collection I would like to offer my sexual services. I offer a money back guarantee as well."

shailynn9 years ago

"liking your photos means nothing. Some people click like on everything."

I know I know, that's why I haven't done anything. I've managed (to the best of my knowledge) not to creep anyone out within a 45 mile radius of my home, so there no point to take that risk now.

JamesSD9 years ago

I'm going to contradict myself and say that women (and people) seeking affair partners tend to be lazy. Call it Ahnold syndrome after his homely housekeeper he had a secret lovechild with. Only reason he would ever have banged her was she was there.

Women want someone safe for an affair, so they often stay away from online hookup sites and bars. If she's looking you're a good candidate; you have mutual friends but aren't really in the same social circle nor same immediate geographic area. You're also married, which a lot of married women prefer.

But yeah, first contact should have plausible deniability to the point if your wife saw it she wouldn't immediately assume you were fishing for an affair.

rick339 years ago

Treat facebook like you would a company picnic. Don't act on it.

shailynn9 years ago

"Treat facebook like you would a company picnic. Don't act on it."

DAMN IT - I don't like that answer... but I know you're right. JamesSD gave the best rationalization for someone that has the balls to try

sharkhunter9 years ago

I don't like that answer either. Too many hot girls show up on Facebook. Too bad almost all of them seem to be one to two thousand miles away. Putting the shoe on the other foot, if one of the girls suddenly said she wanted to fuck me, I would wonder how often she does that sort of thing.

shailynn9 years ago

^^^^ I would be stupid enough to think she only had eyes for me. That's the way I rationalize a lot of this crap to keep me from going crazy! lol

larryfisherman9 years ago

"If you're like me, I have a ton of "friends" on there and most of them I haven't seen in 15+ years. Some I occasionally see in a grocery store and we walk by each other like strangers."

So true man, +1000