The Ordeal of Regular Women

avatar for IronFox22
IronFox22
Ohio
For you guys who go to the strip clubs a lot, do you find it sort of reprograms your brain a bit so that it affects how you converse with regular women? I've gotten so used to the clubs that, when I consider the prospect of trying to hook up with a regular woman (which usually involves conversation, dinner, excellent behavior, and usually multiple dates), the whole thing seems tiresome. My brain knows I can just go down the street and get what I want at the local dive club. I'm not claiming that this is a healthy thing, I'm just pointing out that it can make dating seem like a pain in the ass.

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avatar for GACA
GACA
9 years ago
It does train the brain to sorta expect a few things and not deal with other bullshit. Overall it's completely improved my dating game. Most because (and I believe it was Papi who preached it) it give me the leverage to walk away when girls start playing the "shit test" games.

I'm sure it's why women hate men who go to Strip clubs. It's like we have an ace up our sleeve
avatar for JamesSD
JamesSD
9 years ago
I agree mostly with GACA. It's pretty amazing how much leverage you have in dating when you're willing to walk away.

The downsides of course are hotness compromises, availability, and lack of bullshit.
avatar for K
K
9 years ago
I don't treat women differently. I treat myself differently. I found this improved ny dating life and relationships
avatar for dutchman2000
dutchman2000
9 years ago
I like to talk to the dancers.so it's actually helped me. Ive found myself surprisingly more bold with civies. In both word and hands. Just seems natural. Hasn't got me slapped yet.
avatar for rockstar666
rockstar666
9 years ago
IronFox22, I have the opposite problem. Too often I've treated dancers like my civvy dates, and expected the same courtesies. But taken as a group, they are unreliable, untrustworthy and money talks above all else. When your wallet is gone, so are they.

But we're talking across purposes. I'm talking about fun dates and you're talking about fucking. I see how a "fun" date that doesn't end in fucking can be really upsetting! But as a rule, I don't date anyone unless I'm going to fuck them or already. I'm not 100% on the former, but I also don't dump a ton of money on a girl until we are.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
9 years ago
I agree that all this stripper whispering effects my actual real-life game with civilian women. But I don't share your weariness at the prospect of doing the whole dance with civilian women just because it's easier with strippers. What all this interaction with strippers has done is made me WAAAAY slower in pulling the trigger in having sex with civilian women -- there are any number of women who I would have had sex with, and then either felt bad about it myself (because it was a desperation fuck with a woman I wasn't totally attracted to) or hurt her feelings or both. I get to avoid both buyer's remorse and hurting anyone's feelings, because it's easy for me to pass on sex with a civilian, since getting a stripper is a fine outlet. But I think I'm wired to enjoy the chase -- just as I enjoy pursuing strippers who refuse OTC at first, I enjoy pursuing civilian women who expect to be romanced first, I don't ever mind putting in the work
avatar for dutchman2000
dutchman2000
9 years ago
I like to talk to the dancers.so it's actually helped me. Ive found myself surprisingly more bold with civies. In both word and hands. Just seems natural. Hasn't got me slapped yet.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
I've checked out women in the line going into local night clubs and found that they are dressed way too conservative. Heels not high enough, not enough makeup, just too covered up. Not dressed for sex. I've commented to some staff at that club and others that they looked like they were going to a Rotary Club meeting. But then I had to concede that maybe I have been spoiled by strip clubs.

I like to look women over real good. That is appreciated in strip clubs, but not in other places, no way! You can't conduct yourself in other places they way you can in a strip club.

In our local no touching clubs, all you can do is talk, so sometimes the talk gets real explicit. Can't do that with women found in other places.

Women who dance in strip clubs, even if they don't do anything like OTC, they still get heated up by the doings in the strip club. So they don't need any courting before explosive sex.

Women in the outside realm are committed to replicating conservative forms of life, and so they judge men by their suitability for this. With strippers they are more open minded.

I'm following a number of local political unfolding's. The women involved are middle aged, and now they all use Facebook. Their timelines are loaded up with all sorts of highly conservative and conformist stuff, like Nancy Reagan, high school sports, and charitable events which are mostly social and secondarily about raising money.

I cannot stand any of this stuff. By comparison even religion is better!

So yes, even though our local strip clubs are no touching, I've been completely shaped by the interactions which go on within them.

SJG

Man in the Gray Flannel Suit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEWZpUhD…
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
After I turned 40 or so; I had no desire to continue to deal w/ civvies – for me personally I was no longer “looking for love/romance” and just enjoyed/desired instant gratification such as what I get in the SCs.

I’ve always tended to be a black/white all-or-nothing type person – if I’m w/ a civvy then I treat it seriously and I don’t fool around behind their backs – the older I’ve gotten the less I wanna deal with the civvy relationship overhead and def want to employ the K.I.S.S. principle in my life.

SCs provide a way for me to get the instant gratification and fun I want – w/o the SCs I would have no choice but to play the civvy game of dealing w/ the civvy relationship overhead just so I could get some play – no thanks.
avatar for Timex345
Timex345
9 years ago
I am in my mid 40s. I have no desire to have children or get married. Showclubs are my best option for female
companionship. It is the path of least resistance for me. I am not against dating and sharing my life with someone.
But, the thought of dating someone just exhausts me. The constant texts, gifts, meeting family and friends,
judgements, male friends who want to have sex with your girlfriend, etc., etc. does not excite me the way
a visit to my favorite club does.
avatar for magicrat
magicrat
9 years ago
In my old age I have determined that conversation with most women is uninteresting and/or boring. Once I find one, either stripper or civi, I tend to treat them similarly though so I do think the cross training works.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
My experience with strippers has made it much easier to successfully date non-strippers. These women can't figure out why I'm not trying to fuck them on the first date. They think I'm refreshing and mature. No. I just fucked a gorgeous young woman shortly before the date so I can pretend that sex isn't my main goal and I can actually pull it off. It's like being a superhero. These women tell me about the shit that others guys do which is all a poorly designed effort to fuck. I sympathize cause I'm just looking for a relationship.

I'm also a 1000 times better at talking to and flirting with women because of strippers. The struggle I face is getting a civilian date who is solidly fuckable. I don't mind the dinner, dates, communication etc if she's fuckable but there have been too many (roughly 2/3 of dates) who I wouldn't fuck. That's frustrating.
avatar for seaboardrr
seaboardrr
9 years ago
It hasn't affected me because I've always had the mentality that if one chica won't do something there's another right behind her who will and there literally HAS always been one right behind another to choose from.

What it has done has made me able to train mrs sea to think like a man. It's made her be more assertive and i've been able to teach her that while she can have that pie-in-the-sky ideal of wanting a perfect 10 in every aspect that she also looks at every female in 1 of 2 categories. There's fuckable and not fuckable and you make an instant assessment as soon as you look at a woman. I've been able to teach her that in man thinking cute=fuckable.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
9 years ago
I think clubbing has helped a bit. But, I also think age has helped significantly. I'm more relaxed (post divorce) and I'm not worried about chatting up anyone. In truth - I'd credit having a dog more than clubbing - if that makes sense!
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
9 years ago
Not a problem. I don't date civilians.
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