tuscl

Fundamental differences between Missionary and Clackport

Monday, January 25, 2016 12:33 PM
I am Clackport's alter ego. While Clackport is cool, there are differences between us. The main thing is I say the things he's too afraid to say. If a hot girl with long hair that you're dating cuts her hair Halle Berry length. She asks you, "how do you like my haircut?" Clackport would say, "I love it!" Missionary would say, "Who told you that looks good, it looks terrible! I hate it when it girls cut their hair super short, they lose some of their attractiveness!" A girl that you're trying to fuck, but she is taking it super slow with you. She finally invites you to back to her place after a night of bar hopping. When you're at her house, she says she just wants to watch a movie. Clackport would say, "sounds good to me." Missionary would say, "I've been pursuing you for two months and you still haven't given me the pussy. I got other hoes that want to fuck me, so let me fuck the shit out of you and forget this goddamn movie!" Clackport wines and dines these bitches, Missionary gets straight to the point. A girl asks you, "does this dress make me look like a slut?" Clackport would say, "not at all, you look classy but yet sexy." Missionary would say, "of course it does, I wouldn't have you any other way!" Clackport needs to man up!!

15 comments

  • san_jose_guy
    8 years ago
    Thank you for clarifying these differences for us. SJG
  • shailynn
    8 years ago
    If these fuckers keep taking on multiple personalities like juice, they'll both eventually end up being retards just like juice.
  • 4got2wipe
    8 years ago
    "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. Oscar Levant" Brilliant!
  • MrDeuce
    8 years ago
    The problem is that Ranukam/Clackport and Missionary have to share a fixed number of IQ points, let's say 120, just like Juice and his many aliases have to share his 60 points. Do the math.
  • shailynn
    8 years ago
    ^^^ you're being generous with 120 and 60!!!!!
  • anongirl98
    8 years ago
    Mrdeuce - lol I often consider how you guys come up with stuff like that last comment of yours hahahaha if trolls had to split their IQs that would explain a lot!!
  • Missionary
    8 years ago
    Lol!
  • crazyjoe
    8 years ago
    Shit
  • MrDeuce
    8 years ago
    I'm glad you're amused, Missionary. Do you and Clackport also share a sense of humor?
  • Missionary
    8 years ago
    LMFAO Mr. Deuce Bigalow, I'm in tears right now! You're about as funny as Bill Belichick!
  • motorhead
    8 years ago
    Missionary is a playa in LA Clackport plays NBA2k16 on his X-Box 360 in Portland
  • crazyjoe
    8 years ago
    Missionary wtf is your problem
  • 4got2wipe
    8 years ago
    "The problem is that Ranukam/Clackport and Missionary have to share a fixed number of IQ points, let's say 120, just like Juice and his many aliases have to share his 60 points. Do the math." Brilliant! " ^^^ you're being generous with 120 and 60!!!!!" Double brilliant and totally ace!
  • shailynn
    8 years ago
    "Ace?" Oh so we are playing tennis now?
  • twentyfive
    8 years ago
    Two numbnuts with opposable thumbs
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