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Fundamental differences between Missionary and Clackport

Missionary

I am Clackport's alter ego. While Clackport is cool, there are differences between us. The main thing is I say the things he's too afraid to say.

If a hot girl with long hair that you're dating cuts her hair Halle Berry length. She asks you, "how do you like my haircut?"
Clackport would say, "I love it!"
Missionary would say, "Who told you that looks good, it looks terrible! I hate it when it girls cut their hair super short, they lose some of their attractiveness!"

A girl that you're trying to fuck, but she is taking it super slow with you. She finally invites you to back to her place after a night of bar hopping. When you're at her house, she says she just wants to watch a movie.
Clackport would say, "sounds good to me."
Missionary would say, "I've been pursuing you for two months and you still haven't given me the pussy. I got other hoes that want to fuck me, so let me fuck the shit out of you and forget this goddamn movie!"

Clackport wines and dines these bitches, Missionary gets straight to the point.

A girl asks you, "does this dress make me look like a slut?"
Clackport would say, "not at all, you look classy but yet sexy."
Missionary would say, "of course it does, I wouldn't have you any other way!"

Clackport needs to man up!!