Should I call her back?

Clackport
Washington
I'll try not to make this too long.

I've told this story, but I need to tell it again for context. Me and this female co worker were friendly towards each other. We weren't hanging out outside of work all the time, but we had each other's number. She is gorgeous too by the way. One night I go into a strip club, and I see her dancing. A little awkward for sure. After that it seemed like our relationship was a little different.

She wouldn't talk to me a lot at work, and she wouldn't respond to my texts. I'm guessing she was just really embarrassed at me finding out about her stripping. One day she sends me a work email basically saying she wasn't interested in me, as if I was trying to date her (which I was a little bit, but I didn't think I made it that obvious). She has my number and we work together, so she could have called/texted me or talked to me about in person, but she chose to send me a email. I go off on her in my email reply saying some immature stuff. I later apologize to her through email. The next time we see each other at work, she waves to me and says hi. So I'm thinking we've moved past the drama.

About a month later she got a new job somewhere else at a different location like 30 minutes away from where I work. 2 weeks after she left, I text her to see how she's liking her job. She responds with "who is this". At this point I'm thinking she either got a new number, or she has deleted my number. I don't respond.

Fast forward to this past Friday night. It had probably been a month since she gave me the "who is this". I go into the strip club that I had seen her dancing in. Keep in mind that she's only there every once in a blue moon, and I have other favorites in there, so I'm not there to see her, and I'm not expecting to see her there. Well she was there on Friday. She definitely saw me, I didn't tip her, or go talk to her. I was hanging out with some other strippers.

This morning I wake up to 4 missed calls from her number. The calls were at 3 am. I usually don't call numbers back I don't recognize unless they leave a message (keep in mind the last time I texted that number, she responded with "who is this", so I'm not even sure if it's her number anymore). That being said it seems too much of a coincidence for me to see her 36 hours earlier, and then her calling me. I'm thinking that is still her number. WTF is she calling me four times at 3am? Was she maybe drunk and didn't mean to call me?

She didn't leave a message, so I'm wondering if I should call her back?

Thoughts?

45 comments

Latest

sharkhunter
9 years ago
You can ask her who this is.
just_the_nuts
9 years ago
Call her
Clackport
9 years ago
Similar to what Sharkhunter said, maybe I could text her saying, "you called my phone 4 times yesterday, who is this?"
alabegonz
9 years ago
Hey man, I guess you can that situation "creep zone" you are creeping her out, bro. The next thing you can do if you're going to go fer pussy is to take it to the "friend zone".
tumblingdice
9 years ago
P-Nemesis,whats the big deal?When you call your parents they ask,"who is this".You're lamer than John Smith of late.
alabegonz
9 years ago
But man, this play is going to be long drawn out battle. If I were in your shoes I would play it cool and act like you're there to have fun. You want to send the message that you're a chill guy and just want to be a good bro.
JamesSD
9 years ago
Shame you didnt answer at 3 am, bro. Even strippers dont just call guys at 3 am to talk.

Just text back something vague like "hey, saw your calls last night. What's up?"

Play it cool and do not get sucked into any drama.
GACA
9 years ago
^^^what JamesSD said.
Clackport
9 years ago
@JamesSD- You're right man. Usually when a girl calls at 3 am, it means a booty call. The thing is I didn't respond to her text a month earlier when she asked "who is this", that's my only trepidation of not responding the way you suggest.

@alabegonz- play it cool how?
Clackport
9 years ago
The other thing is she called FOUR times, that makes me think she really wanted me to pick up the phone. If I was awake I would have picked it up after the second call.
Lone_Wolf
9 years ago
After her crazy email the correct course of action is to have no contact with her. But. She is fine and a stripper so the thing to do is txt her back even if it is the wrong move. Hey, if she was going to fuck you she would've done it by now .
georgmicrodong
9 years ago
+1 on what JamesSD said.
shadowcat
9 years ago
I would just ignore her. Bitches be crazy!
GACA
9 years ago
^^^good point. And remember girls who are gonna sleep with you don't make you guess to hard about.

Over thinking about it is a sign you know you're sure as hell not going to get it.

So do what you want, but this one you already lost so serve it up as practice on saying what you want to say and doing what you want to do.
alabegonz
9 years ago
Hey vro, if you can say you're just calling her and you are not the creepy guy in less than a minute, then say goodbye at the 61th second, you re good, man. You gotta say, hey I'm just returning you call, and I'm just wondering about the situation, I know it's kinda awkward but ... blah blah blah . Talk for a minute and break the rapport. Make sure the conversation is not finished. Then forget about her, bro. She's going to wonder about you acting like that it's going to get buzzing you later.
rh48hr
9 years ago
What JamesSD said and don't go in with expectations. See what she has to say. At this point you shouldn't be trying to date her, just trying to get in her pants. So if she's looking for a booty call, tell her you're down for that. Anything else she says is just noise.
georgebailey
9 years ago
Move on. She already played you. There's nothing you can do with this event. It's over.
jackslash
9 years ago
I would call her back. You say she's gorgeous, but she's also a little crazy. It can't hurt to talk and see what develops.
Clackport
9 years ago
Ok, so I know now that I won't call her back. If I do respond to her through text, should I ask "who is this?"
Clackport
9 years ago
@jack- I should call her instead of texting her?
rh48hr
9 years ago
I think that's poetic justice if you do ask "who is this?"

I think you just say. "I got calls from this number last night, who is this?"

If she replies you can work the booty call, no response and you can move on with no harm done.
JamesSD
9 years ago
The last thing you want is a phone call in the middle of the day.

I wouldn't ask "who is this?". Seriously, just text what I wrote, then assume you won't hear from her. Practice your text game with this one. Don't be eager and reply back with jokes as often as possible.

The goal is to either end up out for drinks or have her over to your place, late at night. You want a fuck buddy from this one.
seaboardrr
9 years ago
You went to the club and ignored her so after a long night of work and drinking and probably a little horny at 3am she called you because she was interested and wanted to know why you ignored her. She's a woman; even if she's not really interested you still can't ignore her. That's what she's thinking in her head. As soon as you call her back during the day while she's sober she'll be in the driver's seat again and decide she's not interested. If she was truly interested in you she'd let you know by actually talking to you either in person or by actually leaving a VM msg.

Ignore the calls and go back to the SC and have a good time like you normally do but stay away from her just like last time. Sounds like drama. If/when she finally comes to talk to you ITC make sure she def knows you're down for some fun but not down for any drama.

If you do want to play this out then act a little distracted when she comes over to talk to you. You should act like you WANT to pay attention to her but that there are too many others interesting things going on around you and you can't stop yourself from looking around at all the fun. Don't ask her out. If she asks to meet you OTC for anything at all (sex or dinner or movie, etc....) act busy. If she says how about next "whatever"-day tell her you already have plans that day. Don't be specific. Don't try to make up some huge story about your plans because plans can change, stories can be checked, questions can be asked. No need to lie and get caught in a lie. If you say you have plans your plans could be you sitting your ass at home in peace watching TV. Don't lie. Just don't be specific. If she questions your plans just give her the "bitch, I said I have plans" look. I'm of course being flippant. I'm not saying she's a bitch and don't call her one. Just give her the little wry half smile that says "I said I have plans and I don't really feel the need to explain myself to you".

If she does ask YOU out agree to something a week or 2 away and then don't call her. A day or 2 before the "date" call her to verify if you're picking her up, if y'all are meeting somewhere and the time, etc.... Other than that stay iff the damn phone. Calling her or texting her does not help you in the least bit. Leave her twisting in the wind. Women do this to men ALL the time so use it against her. Don't act like you are over joyed to finally go out with her. Don't tell her how you've always desired her, etc, etc.... Once she gets to know the real you and decides if she likes you or not then things can change and you can show interest. Until then she's still "auditioning" you trying to decide if you're worth dating or sleeping with.

NOW.........say all this transpires and the day or 2 before your outing you call to verify and she acts like "who is this?" all over again and starts sounding like she might not want to go out. If that happens quickly tell her that's fine because you've had other plans come up with some other friends but didn't want to cancel on her. The key is for her to know that you have a life and won't be sitting at home bored.

2 options here:
1- She's not interested and thinks you're stalking her
2- She can't decide if she's interested or not and trying to figure that out
3- If she was flat out interested she'd have already let it be known.

That's a lot to digest so I'll shut up now

JamesSD
9 years ago
I mostly agree with seaboardrr. I think this girl wants to fuck, but like most girls doesn't want to be explicit or pre plan it.

Strippers hate to date customers and struggle with civilians. You're in the sweet spot.
Clackport
9 years ago
@seaboardrr- thanks for that, that makes a lot of sense. I agree with your two possible options it could be. You're right, I need to stay in the upper hand. The only thing is she dances only once in a blue moon. So if I don't text or call her, and then just go to her strip club, it could be probably be three months before I see her there.
jackslash
9 years ago
I would call her just because she called you. You can ask why she called. I don't think you lose anything by doing this.
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
I think she's a crazy bitch who is calling to accuse you of stalking. I would always completely ignore her. There is no pussy to be had here.
GACA
9 years ago
^^^oh, ya good point...I'd still text a hoe asking why the fuck she's blowing up my phone
Clackport
9 years ago
I could see her trying to accuse me of stalking. The thing is I saw her Friday night, and then she calls me Saturday night at 3 am of all times. If she was gonna call me at 3 am, why wouldn't it have been Friday night? These bitches be crazy for real.
alabegonz
9 years ago
Hey bro, there is no win in your situation. Your goal is to make her bomb your inbox, because if she bombs your inbox with messages like I want to see you, licking her pussy is not gonna happen.
alabegonz
9 years ago
And if you do not return the call with no voice message, you will be seen as a doosh and a perv and also a creep. Make that call happen but it should not go over 60 seconds.
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
She has a regular job so this may not apply to her; but I've had late night calls from strippers “waning to know whatz/up” i.e. “get together” and it's been b/c they had a bad night and want/need the money; not saying this chick didn't wanna fuck; just looking at another possible angle.

If her looks are worth it; I'd say pursuit it as long as you go in not expecting anything and not getting involved in any way (emotionally; financially; etc) if she turns out to be more drama than she's worth – if she's too much of a head-case and not willing to meet you at least halfway; then not worth the headache.
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
Give Juice her # and he'll take care of everythang
grand1511
9 years ago
She could have been calling for bail $$$$$$!
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
I don't need to read your post Ranukam. Just that you posted it means that you should call her back. Or as many tuscler's will say, "Fuck her in the pussy."

SJG
https://sites.google.com/site/sjgportal/…

Mick Taylor
Red House
https://sites.google.com/site/sjgportal/…
Clackport
9 years ago
All right, I will do what JamesSD suggests and text her tonight. I'll let you know what happened tomorrow.

You're welcome to make guesses on what you think will happen.
mikeya02
9 years ago
My first guess is that you won't get a rapid response, but who knows? Girls don't really like explaining their actions
Lone_Wolf
9 years ago
Guess: Once you show interest again, she will become distant and say something snarky about you pursuing her.
tumblingdice
9 years ago
What I guess will happen next is you will be on your hand and knees with a red plastic ball in your mouth and strap marks on your ass.
warhawks
9 years ago

I wouldn't call.

I'd only text.

Something innocuous like: "Saw you called. Sorry I missed it. What's up?"
seaboardrr
9 years ago
You can def text or call her but make sure she knows you're just returning her multiple missed calls. Keep it short too. You can mention she looked amazing the other night and it was good to see her ITC but other than that just ask what she was calling about.
crazyjoe
9 years ago
Call her and get all ip in that ass
Clubber
9 years ago
One word, ignore.

But I am thinking I'd be like you and want to know what's going on and not just drop it. As they say, curiosity killed the cat, so be careful.

As for the results of your next move, it will be more of the same.
Clackport
9 years ago
Update: so I sent her a text Sunday night, I said "Did you call me last night?" She didn't respond, so I figure the episode has ended lol. I figure she's just some crazy stripper bitch. I was almost not gonna even respond in the first place because I thought it was crazy, but I was curious lol. Nothing left to see here folks.
GACA
9 years ago
^^^still think you should have gone with,

"Why are you blowing up my phone?"

This would have ilicit a response of some kind, instead of the passive, did you call, but hey I like the drama so...
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