Table visits...

If you did not invite them to join u and and they did not ask if they could join you, I would say no. It's your money and they have not provided any services.

Absolutely not if they invite themselves to sit next to you. That happened to me once, I politely told her where to go.

No you are not obligated to tip them for their time. I have this happen alot (I am a solo female monger), but I don't really mind as long as they don't overstay their welcome and clam-jam me. I visit some clubs where the "buy the lady a drink" hustle is relentless, and at those clubs I will but her a beverage and if she stays too long I might ask her for a dance, or excuse myself to go to the restroom and upon returning I will take a seat on the other side of the room. The bottom line is that if they choose to stay of their own accord, you don't owe them a dime.

Please believe me when I say that I am not picking on you specifically, because I'm not. I see this type of question, in various form, on these forums fairly often, and I just have to wonder:

Why is this even a question? In what other business is one expected to pay for something for which one didn't request, and didn't approve when offered?

Seriously, have you ever walked into a car dealership, had the salesman hand you a set of keys unsolicited, and been told "that'll be $35,000"?

If this dancer hogging up your space isn't invited, and isn't interacting with you anyway, why aren't you telling her she isn't welcome? This *can* be done politely, it doesn't have to be as nasty as I a am I here.

*clam-jam*....nice term Lopaw!..... Should be in the glossary

Thanks, mikeya02!
Yeah you're right - it oughta be in the damn glossary!
Founder.....you listening? ;)

"clam-jam"

Can I say that is *truly* brilliant

For me, no matter what, rule #1 is: be nice to her -- whatever you decide to say to her, smile, be nice, etc.

So, with that in mind, if a girl comes and sits down uninvited, you are absolutely not obligated to tip her for her time -- not by club rules, for sure. Ethically, I personally feel that if she's sitting at my table and I KNOW I'm not going to tip her or get dances from her, even if she was not invited, the stand-up thing to do is to tell her pretty quickly. Again, with a smile, "thanks so much for coming by, but I want to be up front and let you know I won't be getting dances". Usually, because I like having lots of strippers at my table, I add "but if you want to hang out, you're very welcome to" (and I buy them drinks if they stay), but it sounds like you don't want them there at all, so don't add that, and don't buy them drinks.

I guess cuckolding goes both ways huh?

"Clam Jam" the female equivalent of "Cock Blocking." ;)

Have to agree with the others: If a dancer sits down uninvited, you're under absolutely no obligation to tip. Nuts, if you aren't into her, you aren't even obligated to talk to her. (I got one overly clingy stripper to leave my table when I didn't say word one to her and didn't even look at her.) And if the dancer parks herself at your table and just starts playing on her cell, it'd be time to tell her that you're saving that chair for someone else (i.e., anyone else) or flag down a bouncer and get him to coax her away. He'd probably deserve a tip after that, depending on just how much of a fuss the dancer makes.

Not only are you under no obligation to tip, but you absolutely should not tip. And I wouldn't buy them anything either. Be nice but when you spend money, you create the possibility that you might spend more money. That's like putting out shit in a swarm of flies.

Girls come sit with me all the time at the club where the DS works . Sometimes even when we are together. I'll spend a little on the ones I want to hang with us but not the others. And after a while I just excuse them all. I'll say something nice like compliment their looks but say that I just want to hang with the DS alone for a while and hopefully I'll see them next time. As far as I know, I've yet to offend anyone. Disappoint them yes but not offend.

My point is that you need to be proactive in getting the company you want. Always be friendly unless they refuse to take a hint. But encourage the ones you like to stay with money and encourage the others to move on to others where they might make some money.

By the way I think women who genuinely enjoy strip clubs with their guy, and are ok with him going alone, are awesome. If I ever marry again which seems extremely unlikely. It would have to be with a woman like that.

I guess I am a softy. I know they are trying to make a buck and I understand that. I do like that they recognize us and have come to understand that I am not the jealous wife type there to keep a close, watchful eye on my husband. When we first started going together, they all avoided us like the plague! Even AFTER I would tip them on stage and tell them it was OK to come over. So I am thankful that they have come to recognize and realize that we are not the drama type.
However, I feel like when they pull up a chair and sit down that I need to talk to them, or entertain them. And I am the type that likes to kick back, have a drink and watch the entertainment. I like to watch my husband interact with the ones he finds attractive. And when they are sitting with us, I even feel like it is disrespectful to them if I get up to tip someone else on the stage.
I know I need to focus more on MY experience and what I am there for - but I am a nurturer by birth and I worry to much about everyone else's feelings.

Thanks for all the opinions. I truly enjoy strip clubs with my husband. We have set rules and a "code" word (and sign in sign language) if either of us are uncomfortable in any way. Everything is out in the open. There are no secrets in our relationship - and we have been married 16 years.

"However, I feel like when they pull up a chair and sit down that I need to talk to them, or entertain them. "

??????? You have it all wrong! The dancers are there to entertain you and your husband for a price. If you aren't being entertained, you need to state as politely and firmly as possible that you are not interested and that you won't be spending any money on her.

Some girls, especially the ones that you might be interested in another time, appreciate the honesty. One in particular asked if she could sit and I told her, honestly, that I was leaving in five minutes and would be a poor prospect. I also told her to please come by the next time I was in. She did, and we had a great time. They appreciate people who don't waste their time.

First – it happens to all of us – not just b/c you are a chick or a couple – although they may think a female custy may be more understanding and take their shit.

Secondly – most of these girls are hustlers and just “care” about you for as long as they can make $$$ off of you; you feeling sorry for them will usually only accomplish you spending $$$ you don't want to spend on someone you don't want to spend it on; and once you are not spending $$$ on them; it's sayonara as if you never existed.

It's a cutthroat business and all most dancers care about is getting paid whether they have to lie, cheat; or make one feel sorry for them. It's *your* time and *your* $$$; custies are not there to please the dancers; it's the other way around. If it's affecting/overwhelming the quality of your visit; you need to address it in a fair but straight-forward way – some/many of them will not take it well; but again; one is not there to please them.