Table visits...
txSOONER
Texas
I am a woman. A woman who more often than not - drags my husband to the strip club. I need him to get in and my idea of fun and excitement is too watch him get lap Dances.
But here is my question. Because we go fairly often to the same club (and he often goes without me if I am at work), a lot of the ladies recognize him (us) when we come in. I don't care how he works it when I am not with him - but when I AM there, the ladies will come over (uninvited) and pull up a chair. I don't mind buying an occasional drink for them, but I am not interested in buying their drinks and food for the entire afternoon.
If I invite them over - that is one thing. But if they just come over and sit down (and play on their phone) and hang out with us - what is the general rule as far as tipping is concerned? I know they are there to make money, so I feel bad for them, but if we don't ASK them to come sit down and hang out, am I obliged to tip them for their time?
But here is my question. Because we go fairly often to the same club (and he often goes without me if I am at work), a lot of the ladies recognize him (us) when we come in. I don't care how he works it when I am not with him - but when I AM there, the ladies will come over (uninvited) and pull up a chair. I don't mind buying an occasional drink for them, but I am not interested in buying their drinks and food for the entire afternoon.
If I invite them over - that is one thing. But if they just come over and sit down (and play on their phone) and hang out with us - what is the general rule as far as tipping is concerned? I know they are there to make money, so I feel bad for them, but if we don't ASK them to come sit down and hang out, am I obliged to tip them for their time?
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15 comments
Why is this even a question? In what other business is one expected to pay for something for which one didn't request, and didn't approve when offered?
Seriously, have you ever walked into a car dealership, had the salesman hand you a set of keys unsolicited, and been told "that'll be $35,000"?
If this dancer hogging up your space isn't invited, and isn't interacting with you anyway, why aren't you telling her she isn't welcome? This *can* be done politely, it doesn't have to be as nasty as I a am I here.
Yeah you're right - it oughta be in the damn glossary!
Founder.....you listening? ;)
Can I say that is *truly* brilliant
So, with that in mind, if a girl comes and sits down uninvited, you are absolutely not obligated to tip her for her time -- not by club rules, for sure. Ethically, I personally feel that if she's sitting at my table and I KNOW I'm not going to tip her or get dances from her, even if she was not invited, the stand-up thing to do is to tell her pretty quickly. Again, with a smile, "thanks so much for coming by, but I want to be up front and let you know I won't be getting dances". Usually, because I like having lots of strippers at my table, I add "but if you want to hang out, you're very welcome to" (and I buy them drinks if they stay), but it sounds like you don't want them there at all, so don't add that, and don't buy them drinks.
"Clam Jam" the female equivalent of "Cock Blocking." ;)
Girls come sit with me all the time at the club where the DS works . Sometimes even when we are together. I'll spend a little on the ones I want to hang with us but not the others. And after a while I just excuse them all. I'll say something nice like compliment their looks but say that I just want to hang with the DS alone for a while and hopefully I'll see them next time. As far as I know, I've yet to offend anyone. Disappoint them yes but not offend.
My point is that you need to be proactive in getting the company you want. Always be friendly unless they refuse to take a hint. But encourage the ones you like to stay with money and encourage the others to move on to others where they might make some money.
By the way I think women who genuinely enjoy strip clubs with their guy, and are ok with him going alone, are awesome. If I ever marry again which seems extremely unlikely. It would have to be with a woman like that.
However, I feel like when they pull up a chair and sit down that I need to talk to them, or entertain them. And I am the type that likes to kick back, have a drink and watch the entertainment. I like to watch my husband interact with the ones he finds attractive. And when they are sitting with us, I even feel like it is disrespectful to them if I get up to tip someone else on the stage.
I know I need to focus more on MY experience and what I am there for - but I am a nurturer by birth and I worry to much about everyone else's feelings.
Thanks for all the opinions. I truly enjoy strip clubs with my husband. We have set rules and a "code" word (and sign in sign language) if either of us are uncomfortable in any way. Everything is out in the open. There are no secrets in our relationship - and we have been married 16 years.
??????? You have it all wrong! The dancers are there to entertain you and your husband for a price. If you aren't being entertained, you need to state as politely and firmly as possible that you are not interested and that you won't be spending any money on her.
Some girls, especially the ones that you might be interested in another time, appreciate the honesty. One in particular asked if she could sit and I told her, honestly, that I was leaving in five minutes and would be a poor prospect. I also told her to please come by the next time I was in. She did, and we had a great time. They appreciate people who don't waste their time.
Secondly – most of these girls are hustlers and just “care” about you for as long as they can make $$$ off of you; you feeling sorry for them will usually only accomplish you spending $$$ you don't want to spend on someone you don't want to spend it on; and once you are not spending $$$ on them; it's sayonara as if you never existed.
It's a cutthroat business and all most dancers care about is getting paid whether they have to lie, cheat; or make one feel sorry for them. It's *your* time and *your* $$$; custies are not there to please the dancers; it's the other way around. If it's affecting/overwhelming the quality of your visit; you need to address it in a fair but straight-forward way – some/many of them will not take it well; but again; one is not there to please them.