I've given serveral gifts to some of my regulars. One I used to have flowers delivered to her prior to seeing her at the club. When she and her children were involved in a frightning accident I got her two little girls each a stuffed toy and gave her the deductable to get her car fixed. Another I bought a Victoria's Secret GC for her and a Toy's 'R Us for her child. I've always presented flowers or fragrance for my regulars on their special days (BD's, Christmas, etc.)
Be human!! These girls have an impossibly difficult job! You should try to stay attractive on 5" heels scantilly clad for 8-10 hrs. a night while being witty!! Treat them as the ladies they are and they'll forever be grateful!!
Giving an extra tip may be OK if you don't know the girl very well but I don't much like the idea for one that you do know well. Plus my current favorite has some regulars who are really big spenders and any cash that I would give her would be pretty small by comparison. I think I'm going to offer to take her shopping for a gift and see what happens. Then if she says no I'm off the hook.
With candy I like the idea of natural alternative sweetners that don't have the calories of sugar or honey or etc. (Usually they're expensive and when I was looking for them they weren't too easy to find.) Anyway, it provides the opportunity to explain that you appreciate her figure, but that these treats don't need to be worked off. It shouldn't matter that she has no trouble with keeping the flab off.
CASH is sometimes *the most* appreciated gift and that includes strippers. If she is a wealthy stripper, then money is probably a bad idea. But, I've met extremely wealthy people who salivate over relatively small amounts of cash. The difficulty is knowing how the person you're giving the gift to feels about receiving cash as a gift and how you want them to feel. When I was going to give a significant cash gift (she was doing fantastic FIVE DOLLAR lap dances) to my regular dancer for Christmas that would be the best gift for her because she was 100% *all business* or at least that is what she liked to project. She was a good person who worked hard and did an excellent job.
I actually agree with Daverinstl, If you give her money it will just be like a bonus for the night, if you give her a gift certificate, even like those visa gift cards would be better AND when she uses it whe will think of the person who gave it to her. So it would be just like any other 100.00 bill she has.
I didn't accept hardly any of the gifts that have been given to me over the years, because I don't want to give a patron the wrong impression. Especially things like jewelry, stuffed animals, sex toys, flowers, fruit baskets (YUP FRUIT BASKETS) and any other out side of the club type gifts. I probably would accept a gift card, and I always accepted costumes and shoes, and I would always wear them for that paticular patron.
Don't give cash as a gift! Even to a stripper its crass. I recommend a gift certificate to a favorite store or resturant she may have mentioned. Shows two things, first she is a fav and second you actually listen when she talks.
SuperDude, I'd never do (2) or (5), that's too manipulative for me. But I was thinking of asking her if she'd like to have a holiday lunch somewhere with me - I'm torn between wanting to give it a try vs. being unlike all the other guys who are asking her out. She's very popular. I think maybe it's too soon to invite her out somewhere so I probably won't do it unless she gives me some indication that she'd be open to it. I like the candy idea, plus a card with a $100 bill in it - I'm leaning in that direction.
I stop at the local candy shop and buy a $5 box of Godiva chocolates for my two or three favs. I never spend more and you know what, you don't have to. I like to let a few special girls know that they are special and it's always been reciprocated.
Well,I assume you know what you're doing, so here are a few suggestions: (1) a $100 gasoline or telephone calling card; (2) a new full featured cell phone (this way you have her number); (3) a carton of cigarettes (if you have no problem with her smoking; (4) CD's of her favorite rock or ballad star--Sinatra, Dean Martin, Harry Connick, Jr., Nora Jones, Diana Krall; (5) an upfront seat to an upcoming concert (you buy two and keep the seat next to hers); (6) if you're in a cold climate --a gift certificate for a store that specializes in dressy winter coats for women--fur if you're a really high roller.
Well the coconut bra, actually it was a top, was definitely selfish. But, even other gifts to dancers are selfish in that it makes me feel good to demonstrate that their work is very much appreciated. Sometimes words are not enough especially when you've known someone a long time. Sometimes $$$ is the appropriate present if the dancer is ***all business*** and sometimes it is sharing something you like that you hope your dancer buddy will like just as much or more. When I tried to give the Lychees to the dancer she really put up extremely stiff resistance because people had been pressuring her to eat mamocillos (sp?) since she was a little girl. I HATE the mamocillos that they sell here in Miami, but for whatever reason most of the Latins and Islanders insist on calling Lychees --mamocillos-- even though mamocillos are horrible and SUPER FRESH Lychees are delicious. Anyway she immediately fell in LOVE with Lychees, but she insisted on calling them mamocillos. (In Central America the natives call all soft fruit by the same name --sapote-- and they think is bizarre that anyone would create different names for different fruits.) Hell, different cultivars of Lychees can have very different taste qualities and size qualitities. A single special Lychee, the individual fruit not the treet, sold I think for over a $100,000 and perhaps it was much more . . .
One thing: I never expect anything in return for giving a gift to a dancer. I hope to see a big smile and happiness, but that is it.
I agree with Kyle on gift giving. I've given lots of dancers gifts over the years and I wasn't in love with any of them (lust maybe but not love.) I just think it's a nice thing to do. I always find that the nicer I am to my regular the nicer she is going to be to me, so maybe it's a selfish thing on my part but who cares. I'm just curious to know what others who believe as we do have given their dancer buddies.
"Only a RIL (Regular In Love) would even consider giving a holiday present to a dancer. There is no possible relationship with a dancer that could merit giving gifts at holiday time."
You must have a very different definition of love than I do. :) The dancer I wanted to give the $150 (?) to for Christmas was not a girlfriend type dancer or even a friend. She was ***all business***, but she worked damn hard for over a year and had a PERFECT FACE and BODY and SKILL. I wish I had a spare $500 that I could have reasonably afforded to give her.
The dancer I gave the coconut bra to was indeed a friend (for years). She wanted to fix me up with her mom or at least try and fix me up with a girlfriend not in the business. Very sweet young girl. She even asked if I would rather not pay and that in her culture she was expected to give sex to friends as part of the friendship. Anyway, the last thing in the world I needed was to watch her being abused and taken to the cleaners up close and personal . . . her other friends were busy suffering with that enough . . .
I really have a difficult time with empathizing (sp?) with those concerned about falling in love with a dancer. It is like hello!? An older guy should be well prepared to handle women type deals. A young guy could do a lot worse than a hot dancer or even an ugly dancer. I like dancers and prostitutes who generally have far higher morals than some other socially respected and high income professionals.
Only a RIL (Regular In Love) would even consider giving a holiday present to a dancer. There is no possible relationship with a dancer that could merit giving gifts at holiday time.
Berman, I'm well aware that I'm a customer and not a friend. And I'm not looking for a friend, I enjoy being a customer. If something other than that happens that would be OK but I certainly don't expect it. Why is it that every time someone asks a question like this that everyone here interprets it that some guy is falling into the deep end and is about to have his heart broken? Sorry to disallusion you but I'm not that stupid. I've been going to strip clubs since before you were born and I've had lots of regular girls and never had a problem. I'm only asking what is an approapriate gift for the holidays for someone who I enjoy spending time with. Please don't misinterpret my post to mean anything more than that.
Dude, you are only a customer to her. Note, you told her it is not necessarily for you to see her outside of the club. She interpreted that you only want to be treated as a customer. She is only going to call you or e-mail whenever business is slow. She is not your friend. Trust me, I have been there to my own detriment. I suggest you find your friends somewhere else.
I gave a dancer a coconut bra (because I wanted to see her in it). It was adorable and she went crazy over it. The only hitch was she wanted the grass skirt too. I was picturing urban island girl. :)
I wish I had some positive suggestions. I bought some off the tree Lychees and Rambutans and Longans at different times. Those were a big hit too especially with the other dancers. :)
I wish my friends were more like strippers. :) Not to say they don't have their good points, but after being bombarded with nonsense like "trophy women" or "looks don't matter" it is more difficult to see.
I should probably add a little background for my situation. For the last 6 months I've been seeing a dancer regularly who is a young full-time college student from a broken home (so what else is new) who dances to support herself and put herself through college. We've become club buddies and I really enjoy her company. We've also become fairly close in that we've told each other quite a lot about our private lives. We've never gotten together outside the club nor have I ever invited her to do so although we have discussed the subject in general and she has expressed some interest. (I've made it very clear that seeing me outside the club is not a condition for keeping me as a customer.) She's fairly new at dancing - I was her very first customer and our first time together I gave her a lot of suggestions on what to do and what not to do. As a result she treats me much more like a real person and a friend rather than a customer. We exchange emails regularly and I always let her know when I'm coming in and she's always free and waiting for me. I don't spend nearly as much on her as some other guys do but she says she doesn't care, she enjoys my company. We treat each other with a great deal of respect. I'm 3 times her age. So what's an appropriate gift? Just cash or something else? Should I politely offer to take her out to lunch (we usually have lunch together at her club)?
The last time I was going to give a gift it was a $150 (?) for Christmas. Never did get the opportunity to give her the money because of big trouble with a different dancer at the club. Now, I don't do anything special for the holidays.
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Be human!! These girls have an impossibly difficult job! You should try to stay attractive on 5" heels scantilly clad for 8-10 hrs. a night while being witty!! Treat them as the ladies they are and they'll forever be grateful!!
With candy I like the idea of natural alternative sweetners that don't have the calories of sugar or honey or etc. (Usually they're expensive and when I was looking for them they weren't too easy to find.) Anyway, it provides the opportunity to explain that you appreciate her figure, but that these treats don't need to be worked off. It shouldn't matter that she has no trouble with keeping the flab off.
CASH is sometimes *the most* appreciated gift and that includes strippers. If she is a wealthy stripper, then money is probably a bad idea. But, I've met extremely wealthy people who salivate over relatively small amounts of cash. The difficulty is knowing how the person you're giving the gift to feels about receiving cash as a gift and how you want them to feel. When I was going to give a significant cash gift (she was doing fantastic FIVE DOLLAR lap dances) to my regular dancer for Christmas that would be the best gift for her because she was 100% *all business* or at least that is what she liked to project. She was a good person who worked hard and did an excellent job.
I didn't accept hardly any of the gifts that have been given to me over the years, because I don't want to give a patron the wrong impression. Especially things like jewelry, stuffed animals, sex toys, flowers, fruit baskets (YUP FRUIT BASKETS) and any other out side of the club type gifts. I probably would accept a gift card, and I always accepted costumes and shoes, and I would always wear them for that paticular patron.
Sara
Well the coconut bra, actually it was a top, was definitely selfish. But, even other gifts to dancers are selfish in that it makes me feel good to demonstrate that their work is very much appreciated. Sometimes words are not enough especially when you've known someone a long time. Sometimes $$$ is the appropriate present if the dancer is ***all business*** and sometimes it is sharing something you like that you hope your dancer buddy will like just as much or more. When I tried to give the Lychees to the dancer she really put up extremely stiff resistance because people had been pressuring her to eat mamocillos (sp?) since she was a little girl. I HATE the mamocillos that they sell here in Miami, but for whatever reason most of the Latins and Islanders insist on calling Lychees --mamocillos-- even though mamocillos are horrible and SUPER FRESH Lychees are delicious. Anyway she immediately fell in LOVE with Lychees, but she insisted on calling them mamocillos. (In Central America the natives call all soft fruit by the same name --sapote-- and they think is bizarre that anyone would create different names for different fruits.) Hell, different cultivars of Lychees can have very different taste qualities and size qualitities. A single special Lychee, the individual fruit not the treet, sold I think for over a $100,000 and perhaps it was much more . . .
One thing: I never expect anything in return for giving a gift to a dancer. I hope to see a big smile and happiness, but that is it.
"Only a RIL (Regular In Love) would even consider giving a holiday present to a dancer. There is no possible relationship with a dancer that could merit giving gifts at holiday time."
You must have a very different definition of love than I do. :) The dancer I wanted to give the $150 (?) to for Christmas was not a girlfriend type dancer or even a friend. She was ***all business***, but she worked damn hard for over a year and had a PERFECT FACE and BODY and SKILL. I wish I had a spare $500 that I could have reasonably afforded to give her.
The dancer I gave the coconut bra to was indeed a friend (for years). She wanted to fix me up with her mom or at least try and fix me up with a girlfriend not in the business. Very sweet young girl. She even asked if I would rather not pay and that in her culture she was expected to give sex to friends as part of the friendship. Anyway, the last thing in the world I needed was to watch her being abused and taken to the cleaners up close and personal . . . her other friends were busy suffering with that enough . . .
I really have a difficult time with empathizing (sp?) with those concerned about falling in love with a dancer. It is like hello!? An older guy should be well prepared to handle women type deals. A young guy could do a lot worse than a hot dancer or even an ugly dancer. I like dancers and prostitutes who generally have far higher morals than some other socially respected and high income professionals.
I gave a dancer a coconut bra (because I wanted to see her in it). It was adorable and she went crazy over it. The only hitch was she wanted the grass skirt too. I was picturing urban island girl. :)
I wish I had some positive suggestions. I bought some off the tree Lychees and Rambutans and Longans at different times. Those were a big hit too especially with the other dancers. :)
I wish my friends were more like strippers. :) Not to say they don't have their good points, but after being bombarded with nonsense like "trophy women" or "looks don't matter" it is more difficult to see.
The last time I was going to give a gift it was a $150 (?) for Christmas. Never did get the opportunity to give her the money because of big trouble with a different dancer at the club. Now, I don't do anything special for the holidays.