It's hard being a lion on the Internet

3/29/2015 4:03:41 PM

As an actual lion living in sunny Tanzania I wanted to impress on you clueless American's how hard it is for me to share my system with you. Do yo realize the the humans in the Tanzanian countryside don't have electricity 24/7? Not to mention internet connectivity.

However, I persevere so I can generously share my system with you. I do so because it is obvious that you need my help. Some of you simply advocate asking hookers for sex. Do you think a wildebeest would consent to being eaten if I simply asked? The answer to that for the permanently clueless is "no, she would not!"

So I have donned my best suit and stroked the manager of a facility with a generator and Internet connection all so I can share my insights with you. I hope you appreciate my generosity.

Comments

last comment

ATACdawg

Unfortunately, the bastard is rehired😪

10 years ago

Has it ever occurred to you that someday the wildebeests might get smart, work together, mob you and kick the living crud out of you?

Josh43

10 years ago

^^^ Most lions are fierce hunters, at the top of the food chain, and would not hesitate to fight it out with an angry mob of wildebeests. However, RickTheLion is more likely to retreat into his lions den and put the attackers on ignore.

shailynn

They never tell you what you need to know.

10 years ago

Well dildo, teach us something. That's gonna be hard because we all have it covered here. Doug teaches us investment advice, LMN teaches is how to be a fag, 4got2wipe and motorhead make us laugh, Mikey keeps us informed with news on violence, diva makes is all have a crush on her, govikings and Carlos give us rationale advice. Sjg is a good substitute for a shrink and Alabegonz reminded us what it is like to hallucinate on drugs. LDK reminds us never to do what he does and JS69 and me are still trying to figure out why people put up with us, but I'm happy I'm allowed to play.

ATACdawg

Unfortunately, the bastard is rehired😪

10 years ago

Fierce? Yes. Stupid? Not so much. I have watched abandon its kill to a bunch of hyenas. Certainly a match for any two or even three of them. When there are a half dozen coming in, each one in turn baiting the lion, nipping at the lion's backside and attacking the kill, the lion finally gives up and slinks away.

crazyjoe

Colorado

10 years ago

Do you have a system that helps you grease bouncers and stroke managers? If so what % success rate does it have

crazyjoe

Colorado

10 years ago

Lol Josh

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