"Don't get it" dancers!

11 comments

• FONDL

  •

  19 years ago

  A lot of these girls aren't very bright, have low self esteem, are somewhat shy, and have poor people skills. So of course they don't know how to act. Clubs should provide training for new dancers, both the club and the girls would make a lot more money, but few bother to do so. Just one more example of the stupidity of club managers and owners.
• TopGunGlen

  •

  19 years ago

  Men, just tell the lady "No thanks"...it's your right to speak up for yourself. Of course be nice about it, but be forthright. Hey, maybe you could say your handle on TUSCL is Romantic Lover, then she'll run like hell...:-)
• casualguy

  •

  19 years ago

  Shadowcat, I knew what you meant but was just having fun. :) You can't read body language by reading this text though. Just so any dancers reading this know, I don't mind if dancers come over and sit on my lap. I would say I would be ok with over 90 percent of the dancers in the clubs I usually go to. I'll let them sit on my lap free of charge as long as they want to also. If I want or need to move, I will tell them so. Of course I have to stop at a limit of two dancers sitting on my lap at one time. I only got two legs. :) Actually a dancer sitting on each leg is a good way to keep me in my seat.
• FONDL

  •

  19 years ago

  No they're not dumb, they're trying to con you into spending some money on them. That's why I always try to sit at the bar, if a girl sits down next to you it's much easier to ignore her than if you're at a table together. It's also why I like to have a regular and to make a "date" with her beforehand by telephone or email so she knows I'm coming to see her and I know she's working. I just think having a regular makes things so much easier.
• FONDL

  •

  19 years ago

  The only time I find this problem to be really awkward is when the dancer is a different race than I am. This happened to me not long ago, I was sitting at the bar and a cute young black girl sat down next to me. Unfortunately I already had my eyes on another dancer who was white, and I ultimately ended up with her. In retrospect I wish I had offered to buy the black girl a drink, I probably would have liked her. I'm sure she thought my rejection was racial but it wasn't.
• Clubber

  •

  19 years ago

  Some good advice. I tend to be respectful, and not chase them off, just out wait them. If my favorite dancer is there, she comes right over, and there is no problem. I think the incident that prompted this post was due to the fact the dancer in question was new, and didn't know I had a club favorite. She is just not working at this time. I like the moving idea, but then that takes me out of MY favorite spot to sit. It doesn't happen often where I am known, but in a club new or rarely visited by me, it happens much to often. That alone, will keep me away from a club!
• FONDL

  •

  19 years ago

  I always tell that type of dancer that I'm waiting for one of the other girls as soon as she sits down. Usually that 's true although I might not always know which dancer I'm waiting for (LOL.) Some of these girls really don't get it, some of them just aren't very bright and they haven't the faintest idea how to go about their job. Clubs should provide some training for new dancers but I bet few of them do.
• SuperDude

  •

  19 years ago

  This is a real problem, especially for guys who want to treat everyone with respect. Most of us were raised by someone who tried to teach us manners, including how to act in public places. Some dancers will take advantage of this and camp at your table or booth, knowing that you don't want to make her uncomfortable and demand that she leave. Too many people see good manners as a sign of weakness and try to exploit what they misperceive as a weak or soft person. Get firm and tell her you are waiting for someone else. Ask her if she would feel comfortable coming over if another dancer was already at the booth or table. If you carry pen and paper, give a note to the waitress for the manager asking him to come over and remove the dancer. That will get around the club real quick. And there's good and bad with that. Or you could just give her a nominal tip and ask her to leave. "I'm not getting dances right now, but here's something for the cause." Once she gets something from you she will leave you alone, but you shouldn't have to give in to that kind of extortion. She knows that you might be waiting for someone else, so she camps there until you pay to get rid of her. Oh, they "get it," but getting your money is more important. I say if you are that much of a hard ass about trying to get my money, I'm sure not going to worry about hurting your feelings. I'm not going to create a scene, which is why a note to the manager keeps the customer's dignity and gets rid of the camper.
• DandyDan

  •

  19 years ago

  I know this all too well. I've come to the conclusion the best way is to tell them that I am waiting for someone else, even if I'm not. Of course, sometimes they ask who you are waiting for and I just tell them it's none of their business. One time, the girl just wouldn't go away and I had to tell her to leave because I didn't want her around. And yes, since she was black, she thought it was totally racial and just freaked out. The thing that sucks is if I see a girl I don't want walking at me, I look the other way, but then they still sit with you. Are they just that dumb? We all have body language that lets them know we are interested, but if they don't take the time to study our movements, what use does that really serve?
• casualguy

  •

  19 years ago

  That's interesting, I always find it difficult to leave the table when a dancer sits in my lap. One thing I have noticed is that some dancers have a tendency to want to leave if you keep getting up from your table alot to go tip other dancers. Of course if you have a dancer holding your table, it might be a good time to take a restroom break and see if she is still holding your table when you come back. You could even stop by the bar and get a drink. Most dancers won't hold the table for that long.
• Daverinstl

  •

  19 years ago

  WHen this happens to me as soon as a girl I know, even if she is not a favorite, gets on stage I say excuse me but I/m goning to sit at the stage and watch my friend. They are always gone when the set is over.