Signs that you're at a dive bar.

Your best buddy at the club is the dj because he is playing all the headbanging music that you can relate to from your youth. You really enjoy this nuance because the girls can't provide any satisfactory interaction. So you end up tipping the dj more than anyone else at the club.

A dude dressed in a white, 3 piece polyester suit shows up as a patron.

Swear to God I just witnessed this very scenario, yet my only embellishment will be the 3 pieces for the suit. This guy wanted to ball in his fancy get up! Love it!

Cue up the Dougster versus Rick Dugan comments on suits in the dive bar...

^^^ lololol

This would be one....

1. The DJ comes in carrying a box full of 8 track tapes.
2. All drinks are served in plastic cups.
3. You are the only white person in the place.
4. 2 dudes are stuffing $1 bills into the pussy of the toothless fat bitch on stage.
5. The manager pleads with you to not leave
6. You don't even try to avoid the pot holes in the parking lot trying to get out of there.

Yes. It's been closed for a few years now.

Juice is there geting $5 lappers and $2 beers watching an old TV that has cable, not DirecTV

1. The bartenders used to strip there 20 years ago. Occasionally they still do. Ewwwww.
2. Half the customers look like they couldn't afford a single lap dance
3. Half the dancers (or 75% by weight) are "plus sized"
4. The roof leaks into the club when it rains, and has for several years

The urinal is detached from the wall and laying on the floor next to the capped off drain and water supply.

The men's bathroom is closed for repair, and all the male customers are using the one, open to the entire room, in the girl's dressing room. Escorted by the female bartender.

The floor has a soft spot that everybody knows to avoid, where the flooring underneath is rotting.

The open door to the dressing room includes a view of needles and surgical rubber in the counter.

The bartender, upon seeing you walk in, says "Your favorite whore is here tonight."

The decor looks like something out of a Munsters episode. And it's April.

Some guy in the corner is complaining about why are all the girls are in the back, and why did they ran out of shrimp

@Meat: lol! Think it was RickyBoy you spotted?

Such a funny thread! I like the idea of a guy showing up in a 3 piece white polyester suit. Way to impress the toothless girl on stage!

Hey, that's a SPOTLESS 3-piece polyester suit, at least until he sits down :)

The men's urinal is just one big cow trough or a metal pan running along the wall with water flowing through it.

The men's urinal is a bush outside the side door. The crapper is in its own building 50 feet from the back door.

lapdances take place in a little room where they keep the ice maker. you lean either against the wall or ice maker while the girl grinds you.

"Such a funny thread! I like the idea of a guy showing up in a 3 piece white polyester suit. Way to impress the toothless girl on stage!"

Lmfao

You slip and fall from all the greasy chicken bones and peanut shells on the floor

1. There are more guys playing pool than watching dancers.
2. All of the dancers are outside smoking, leaving two employees in the club -- the bartender and the server who's now doubling as a dancer.
3. Asteroids, Joust, and other old-school stand-up arcade games are getting more money than the dancers.
4. The whale of the night looks like he just spent his social security check.
5. The best dancer would give a trailer park a bad name -- and she's well past retirement age, to boot.

When your would rather tip the dancers stay dressed than to strip.

When the audience chants "put it on put it ALL on" rather than take it off....

1. the stage is two plywood platforms with carpeting and no pole
2. all the dancers get on the stage (see above) every hour for an "all skate"
3. the DJ plays "the Rodeo song" for the all skate
4. Dancers beg you to take them to VIP to avoid the all skate
5. The best booth in VIP has a pile of sound equipment in it
6. the dancer's bar bill exceeds what they make in tips
7. one of the regular girls is possibly brain damaged from drugs but nobody asks her to leave

When more than one dancer is dancing in those" ughs" boots and wearing cotton everyday thongs from Wal-Mart. You can't make this stuff up!

1. When the stage is just four pieces of wood, much like a sandbox but without the sand.
2. When the PLs leave the dancer in VIP so they can get a beer or a joint.

When 3 generations from the same family are dancing.

....and their father (no, not a mistype!) Is there watching...

....and their father (no, not a mistype!) Is there watching...

Dougster, definitely a clone of Rickyboy if not the real live person. The dude had his jacket off an he was carrying it over his shoulder, an then he would look at his gold pocket watch as if he had some place to go. He ordered a double shot of scotch to sip on at the bar and then I left.

Luv_women, yeah the 3 generations comment is way too funny!

No toilet paper or paper towels in the bathroom.

Lol

when you think you are in al Walmart that has just had a power failure

Fuck that faggot RickyBoy!

Dancer has about 10 different guys' names tattooed on her.

They're short on dancers because they got trapped on an escalator when the power failed at the mall......

There is an old 200lb black chick on stage covered in tats, has missing teeth, and 2 guys sitting at the rail are stuffing $1 bills into her pussy.

Took me about 3 minutes to finish my rum and coke that was served in a plastic cup before I left.