tuscl

Defining prostitutes

FONDL
We all know what the dictionary says but I think for many people familiar with the sex industry it's not a very good working definition. I think a lot of people, me included, would define a prostitute as one who sets a price and is willing to have sex with anyone who meets that price. Under this definition a girl who has sex with guys she knows and likes is not a prostitute, even if she sometimes accepts gifts including money from the guys. I think a lot of strippers fall into this letter category at times but don't consider themselves to be prostitutes, even though they may technically be engaged in the dictionary definition of prostitution at times. I don't consider them prostitutes either, and in fact I see little difference between what they do and the girl who goes to bars, lets guys buy her dirnks and maybe dinner, and goes home with them. To me if the girl is somewhat selective about who she sleeps with and doesn't have a set price, she isn't a prostitute.

8 comments

  • casualguy
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    20 years ago
    Isn't it terrible how women seem to control sex in general? They always seem to want something in exchange for getting it. If they do get something whether it's your wife, girlfriend etc. aren't they all prostitutes? In spite of all that, females almost always seem to expect something in exchange for putting out. Unless you get lucky and find one of those horny females.
  • TopGunGlen
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    20 years ago
    After all these years, I still don't understand why people consider a woman who takes cash a prostitute, and a woman who takes a car, jewelry, fancy dinners, trips to the mall etc. a "good girl"... Try cutting off your wife, or girlfriend from the goodies, and see how much honey you get tonight...:-)
  • driver01
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    20 years ago
    I think Winston Churchill had it about right...

    At a dinner party he was smitten by a beautiful woman whom he had been seated next to and towards the end of the evening simply asked her if she would be willing to go to bed with him for 50,000 pounds(a huge amount of money back then). The woman smiled coyly and responded, yes. Churchill then paused a moment and asked, "would you go to bed with me for 5 pounds?". The woman's response?- "Absolutely not, what kind of woman do you think I am?"...Churchill's response was, "Madame, I think we have already established what kind of woman you are, what's happening now is negotiation...

  • Yoda
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    20 years ago
    Superdude: I completely agree. I get a kick out of guys who talk themselves into thinking that they are not "cheating" on their wives when they go to a strip club and pay a 20 year old woman with big tits and a great ass to grind on them for 3 or 4 minutes at a time. Bring the little woman along sometime and let her watch, see what she calls it.
  • Yoda
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    20 years ago
    FONDL: I looked in several dictionaries and couldn't find the definition that you posted. What I did find was "to offer indiscriminately for sexual intercourse especially for money", "One who solicits and accepts payment for sex acts.", and "somebody paid for sexual intercourse: somebody who receives money in return for sexual intercourse or other sex acts."

    The key is obviosly intent as much as anything here. Women will do whatever they have to do to put food on the table. If a woman stays in a bad relationship for years in order to support her kids, sleeps with the bastard every night and takes his money is she a prostitute? According to the law, no. If a woman visits a man in a hotel, sleeps with him, accepts money for it and stops at the grocery store on the way home to buy food for her kids is she a prostitute. According to the law she is. This doesn't make her a bad person to you or I but it doesn't change the definition of the word either.

    There's an old quote once repeated to me by a dancer friend years ago. "It's not what you call me, it's what I answer to". I don't worry too much about what definitions are attached to dancers, escorts or sex workers in general. I've known too many good women from the industy over the years to buy into the stereotypes. That, however, can't change the meaning of the words or the legal ramifications.
  • FONDL
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    20 years ago
    I'm not involved in any way with money for sex. I'm not aware of any dancers that I know who are either. I'm not trying to justify anything and I don't care what others do, that's their business not mine. I don't ysyally use words like "prostitute" and try to avoid pejorative labels of all kinds. But if we're going to use such terms here we should at least agree on what we mean by them. and it seems to me that there is a huge difference between a girl who advertises sex for sale at a given price with anyone who is willing to pay, vs. a girl who has sex with someone who she knows and likes even if she accepts a gift in return, and to give them both the same label strikes me as bizarre. The reason I posted this thread is because in several other threads here and elsewhere it seems to me that people were doing exactly that and I disagree. I think that in this day and age the word "prostitute" should be reserved for someone who advertises to have sex indiscriminately for a set price. Otherwise I have no idea what the word means. If you say, as the dictionary does, "sex in exchange for someting of value" I think it would be hard to find an adult woman who has never done that and the term becomes meaningless.
  • Yoda
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    20 years ago
    FONDL: What you are talking about here is a definition of convenience. You can't change the definition merely to prevent someone you might like from falling into the category or to exonerate yourself from feeling that you are doing something that might be illegal. It doesn't really matter what criteria we all use to define the act. What matters is how you feel about it. Personally I don't have a problem with dancers who have sex for money or with escorts. I treat them all with personal respect until they give me a reason not to. I know dancers who accept money from clients for sex and I can tell you that THEY don't look at it as being the same as going out for a drink and then going home and having sex with a customer. Taking money for sex is just one more thing that some dancers are willing to do in order to make money. It doesn't lower them in my eyes. I don't throw around the word "Prostitute" very much anyway as it tends to set of a series of nasty connotations that don't really apply to the kind of women that you and I are probably talking about. However, that being said, I don't think we are in any position to re-write Webster’s dictionary or interpret the law. The word is what it is and, when you start getting involved in that side of the sex trade it's important not to lose sight of the fact that you are engaging in an activity that is considered illegal even if prosecution is rare. It can get dancers fired or arrested and ruin peoples lives. Discretion is always called for.
  • SuperDude
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    20 years ago
    Most wives or girfriends believe that dancers are prostitutes and that visiting strip clubs is really no different than going to a brothel, albeit "acceptable" under the law.
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