lap dance tipping etiquette

Here's a situation that maybe some of you haven't encountered. I've been to several clubs where the private dances are held in a little private room and you pay separately for the room ($20 per song) which all goes to the house. In addition you are expected to "tip" the girl but there's no fixed amount. Most of the girls will try to get another $20 per song but if you're doing multiple dances you can usually negotiate a lower amount ($40 per song is a little pricey for me.) Anyway I always make sure we've agreed on an amount in advance so there are no surprises. Never-the-less I remember one time that the dancer agreed in advance to her tip, then after the dance she was all pissed off because that's how much I gave her. Puzzling. Anyway I usually avoid such places but this one place in particular (Pleasure Dome in White Haven, PA) has such good looking girls and the contact is so high that it's hard to avoid going once in awhile. Plus this place isn't as bad a deal as it sounds because the girls circulate giving mini-laps for $1 each as part of their sales pitch, and those $1 dances are better than you get most places for $20. If you're ever in the Poconos, give it a try. But check first for directions because this place is out in the woods and hard as hell to find.

Komey, your post reminded me of a funny story. When my ATF quit dancing she took a job as a cocktail waitress in a sports bar (no strippers, just TVs and pool tables.) One of the first times I went to visit her there it was the middle of winter and was really cold out. She's wearing a pair of short shorts and all the other girls are in slacks. I asked her why. She said she gets bigger tips when she wears shorts. (She has really great legs because she works out all the time.)

Anyway, I hate to admit it but I actually agree with something that RL said. If a girl treats me as just another wallet I rarely tip her more than I absolutely have to. As RL says, why tip a girl who is only after your money? The only girls I tip generously are those I know really well and who treat me as a real person.

RL - I tip better at restaurants if the waiter/waiteress is friendly. Does that mean I am buying their friendship as well?

Tipping for "friendliness and conversation" - That may sound like someone trying to BUY FRIENDSHIP and AFFECTION! What about PROFESSIONALISM???? Is that the "professionalism" of a stripper with years of experience of SELLING SEXUAL SERVICES?????

To "phoenixxxblaque" - Strippers generally don't come to work because they feel sorry for PATHETIC LOSERS who PAY FOR AFFECTION and/or CONVERSATION! Strippers want MONEY! Why should someone who a stripper REFUSES to see OUTSIDE THE CLUB or even tell her REAL NAME and PHONE NUMBER to sympathize with that stripper?

It has been written many times that strippers generally see customers ONLY AS A SOURCE OF MONEY so it seems FOOLISH for a customer to pay an OVERINFLATED price because he sympathizes with a stripper.

I behave like most other locals in my area only paying between 10 to $15 per lap dance but I do get at least 2 dances at those prices. I don't usually tip anyone except the dancers at the stage on occasion. That's normal where I live. I think I would stay home or need a pay increase to live where you guys live at. Oh, I do usually tip the waitress a dollar per drink when I am drinking. I feel like a big tipper when I'm doing that, lol. I believe I am a big tipper (my area) doing that too because the waitresses come back often asking if I want any more drinks.

Perhaps RL thought he could win true friendship by being a CHEAP ASS. I guess being a BAD ASS didn't work for him.

As for myself I have been going to clubs for quite a while and I know the ladies are lucky if they take home 33% of what they take in on any given night. Unless I feel the dancer was trying to rip me off, (dosen't happen that often but every once in a while you run into someone who is dishonest.) I always tip! But what I tip definately depends on the level of service. I don't necessarily mean mileage but conversation, friendliness, and professionalism all factor in.

Phoenix, I've met very few dancers who I thought tried to charge too much or who were too greedy. But I've been to lots of clubs that I thought were overpriced, that club management was too greedy. Unfortunately when that happens the dancers often take the heat from the customers. Personally I think a decent LD is worth $20 and I'm quite willing to pay more than that for a really good one. But I've seen lots of places that try to get $30 for one that's not very good. To me that's overpriced.

I usually tip if I get more than one dance and if the dancer was pleasant. If the dancer asks for a tip during the first dance, which happens too often, I stop her right there, pay the $20 and leave.

I thought Tippin was a city in China but after a search, I did not find it there. It must be there somewhere. Maybe RL can go to China and find it for us. Lol.

fondl..what you say is true fondl..i have no quarrel with you..its that moron romanticlover who insists dancers charge too much and that they should only get 5 bucks a dance.i was just simply showing exactly what that 20 bucks a dance pays for.thanks

Phoenix, we all (well most of us) sympathize with you, we're mostly fans of strippers or we wouldn't be here. But I think you are overstating your case. We all have tip-out, only for most of us it's called withholding. We all have major clothing expenses and other kinds of expenses related to our jobs. I used to own more than a dozen expensive suits, pairs of shoes, dress shirts, ties etc. which I almost never wore except for work. In fact I'd be willing to bet that my clothing costs were a lot higher than yours. Anyone who works for a living has a load of expenses related to their work, that's just part of life. The only thing that matters is how much disposable income you have at the end of the day, and in that respect, given the age and level of education that most strippers have, I think they generally do OK. Sure they work hard for it and have to put up with a loda of crap, but so does just about everyone else. That's life.

romanticlover....i am THROUGH being nice to you friend...i,m pretty sure with your attitude you dont go to clubs anymore(wouldnt do you any good to go anyway,you,re a cheapass the girls would stay away from)so what do you care if a guy tips a little extra on top of the dance price...when guys do that to me,i appreciate that-and them,for that show of thanks,,maybe a pinhead like you doesnt understand the idea that we ladies have tip out ALOT OF MONEY at the end of the night....we dont dance for free..at my club,you tip out 10 percent of the total you make,you give 5 for the house for 10 dances,if you do ten dances(after that,the rest of the dances you dont give 5 for,but still...5 bucks times 10 is 50 bucks.)i gotta tip out my dj,my security(2 guys)and so forth....overall,JUST my tip out is almost a hundred dollars a night.......and whatevers left is mine....so,in order to make 200 dollars,i have to make three(subtract the tip out from the rest)and airheads like you DARE to say that we ONLY DESERVE 5 BUCKS A DANCE?????)WHATEVER!!!!!i have to charge twenty bucks so i can tip out correctly at the end of the night bud!and,if you think about it,if you break down that twenty dollars,i AM really only getting 5 bucks,because the other two thirds go to tip out and staff tip out.

and,while we are on this subject,lets bring up everything that i have to pay for to make me and ladies like me that perfect sexy fantasy..taning bed sessions(over a hundred a month)trips to the hair/nail salon,gym memberships(600 a year)nice clothes,nice shoes,eating healthy food so we dont look all flabby,..what,you think all this crap is freei suppose???you want the fantasy,that ok,but realize,just as for you,also for us,it aint for free..we have to pay for it too,ok?and on top of that....considering all that i tip out at night,all that i pay for to look the part,plus all the physical labor that goes into it,i,ll be damned if i,m doing all that for 5 measely dollars a dance...you feel 20 bucks is too much?you have conviction behind your words?great..you get onstage and you do it then for 5 bucks....more power to you.....but 20 bucks is a fair price.guys like you come into clubs wanting that sexy fantasy,well,that fantasy means continued investment in the self....neverending maintenance in every way possible...that 15 minutes you spend in our company(or more)well,be aware that HOURS went into that appearance to make it look appealing.later

I only tip because usually I will sit and talk with a girl for awhile before heading off for private dances. So I'm really tipping her for the time she spends with me, not for her dances. And by the way, every once in a while I run into a girl who asks for a tip in advance, sometimes indicating that the bigger the tip the better the dance. I immediately leave whenever that happens, which thankfully isn't very often. I don't ever play that game, it's a con job.

It depends on the club. If the dancer is getting all of the $20, I seldom if ever tip. If she is paying a portion to the house I may tip an extra $5 or $10 on multiple dances-if they where good.

In the rare event that I only get one dance, then I obviously wan't thrilled with it and I rarely tip. Usually I buy multiple dances, in which case I'll often pay for one more than I get, for example if they are $20 each, I'll buy 4 and pay $100. If I'm with a girl with whom I'm a regular, which is usually the case, I might even tip more than that, or maybe buy her several drinks before heading off for dances. It all depends on the place and the girl.

You seem to be writing about tipping a stripper EXTRA MONEY in addition to the RIDICULOUSLY OVERINFLATED price of TWENTY DOLLARS per dance. Have you ever read and UNDERSTOOD anything written on ANY strip club message board?

I may be an easy mark, but I always tip $10 on top of the "sticker price," unless the dance was so bad as to have been unconscionable. Dancers talk, and if the word is out that you are a cheap ass, it's going to fuck up your chances with a lot of the dancers.

I've been known to tip double or better for "extraordinary service," but this falls into the "YMMV" area