No Oral For You

A couple days ago I asked for input on the reason why my ATF refused oral sex this week, but was willing to engage in any and all other sexual activities. I offered some potential reasons, and some of you offered alternative explanations. Well I asked her the reason for her new no blow for you rule, and it turns out that we were all dead wrong. Nobody here was even remotely close to her answer.

This had made it obvious to me that none of us understands a damn thing about stripper shit. In an effort to further everybody’s education, set forth below are possible answers that she gave me. Vote for which of the following five answers you think is what she told me. The other four are SS that I made up. Which one did she say?

I’ll post the answer in 12-24 hours. Get your vote in early.

1. A guy last week pulled out of her mouth at the last second and came all over her face, getting it in her eyes and hair, and she is at least temporarily grossed out by giving blow jobs.

2. She has a non-sexual relationship with a new guy and giving oral sex to JS69 would feel disloyal to this guy.

3. She’s gotten into sexual astrology and her zodiac sign is incompatible with having oral sex given JS69's sign.

4. She feels like oral sex is degrading to her as a woman and a human being.

5. She is so traumatized by a recent experience with a customer that she can’t fully perform sexually for a while. In summary, she gave a lap dance last week to a very feminine looking guy who insisted that his name was something like jerry rickson or maybe jerk off son. The guy was a complete ass, yelling “bitch you’re not working hard enough to deserve a tip,” and insisting that her high mileage dances were worth at most .45 cents. In the end, the customer unzipped his pants and demanded a blow job. But there was nothing there -- it turns out he was a she. As the bouncers were escorting this customer out the door, she kept yelling things like “Dougster is an asshole,” “I hate John Smith,” and Juice! Juice!