self destruction, redux
LMN
I seem to be on a downward spiral lately.
Last night was not as fun as I hoped. The 2 strippers came over and really wanted to "party. " I personally just wanted to stay in get wrecked and fuck them. They wanted to go out. I guess my "favorite" told her friend I occasionally take her to high end nightclubs and bars. I figured, whatever, may as well so we took off to a nearby "lounge" I like.
I find nothing more pathetic than going out with strippers so I was already in a bad mood about it.
I popped 30mg's of zolpiderm which was a very, very bad idea. After about 2 hours and 4 double rum and cokes, I was barely able to sit up straight and hallucinating a bit. The strippers, who were already completely shitfaced as they finished a bottle of Patron between the two of them already were oblivious to how demolished I was. The guy I usually buy coke from actually works at this lounge so I got a ball from him, hoping this would help me wake up a bit.
I don't remember much after this. I remember bits and pieces:
- doing coke in the bathroom
- barely being able to stand up from the table
- my usual waitress telling me that my drinks were on the house (I go to this place like 4x/week)
- doing more cocaine in the bathroom and feeling very uncomfortable, a high blood pressure pained feeling, lying down on the floor a bit
- at one point one of the strippers looks at me and says "are you okay?"
I don't know how I got home safely. I drove back which was dumb. Thankfully my car isn't totaled. The strippers crashed on my couch after I fucked them (I guess I fucked them?).
Today I feel worse than usual. I hate black outs. I feel fried. Like my brain can't produce any more dopamine or seratonin.
I'm not sure what to do any more with myself.
Last night was not as fun as I hoped. The 2 strippers came over and really wanted to "party. " I personally just wanted to stay in get wrecked and fuck them. They wanted to go out. I guess my "favorite" told her friend I occasionally take her to high end nightclubs and bars. I figured, whatever, may as well so we took off to a nearby "lounge" I like.
I find nothing more pathetic than going out with strippers so I was already in a bad mood about it.
I popped 30mg's of zolpiderm which was a very, very bad idea. After about 2 hours and 4 double rum and cokes, I was barely able to sit up straight and hallucinating a bit. The strippers, who were already completely shitfaced as they finished a bottle of Patron between the two of them already were oblivious to how demolished I was. The guy I usually buy coke from actually works at this lounge so I got a ball from him, hoping this would help me wake up a bit.
I don't remember much after this. I remember bits and pieces:
- doing coke in the bathroom
- barely being able to stand up from the table
- my usual waitress telling me that my drinks were on the house (I go to this place like 4x/week)
- doing more cocaine in the bathroom and feeling very uncomfortable, a high blood pressure pained feeling, lying down on the floor a bit
- at one point one of the strippers looks at me and says "are you okay?"
I don't know how I got home safely. I drove back which was dumb. Thankfully my car isn't totaled. The strippers crashed on my couch after I fucked them (I guess I fucked them?).
Today I feel worse than usual. I hate black outs. I feel fried. Like my brain can't produce any more dopamine or seratonin.
I'm not sure what to do any more with myself.
11 comments
Try sticking your head up your ass..see if it fits!
I attempted suicide once before as an angsty teenager via pill overdose. They found me seizing and pumped my stomach at the ER in time.
I'm not actively attempting suicide but I don't particularly care if I live or die either.
I think the LMN dude needs to shift his self destructive tendencies in a more whimsical direction. Leave out the Ambien LMN dude. Commit to a lower amount of coke, but add 96 twinkies to the mix.
Yes, I'm suggesting you and your stripper friend have a TWINKIE EATING CONTEST. After you get all strung out on blow and twinkies be sure to film the chick doing something twisted. Yes -- a TWINKIE CREAMPIE!!!
Pay the chick $1K or $2K to insert one of twinkies in her snatch for a photo. Write "LMN RULZ" on the belly in Twinkie cream my brother. Then post that shit.
I swear that will be way more fun than takin' all the drugs you claim to take. From there, just ramp up on the twinkies and down on the drugs.
Seriously though, LMN dude...some of us are doubting you. You can become a TUSCL legend by merely spending some chump change to get some o' your strippers to take groovy photos. I know you can do it -- I know you're actually a super-rich, hard-charging, ultra-rich dude. You can get and post some ultra-twisted photos for your TUSCL bros.