condom broke

avatar for LMN
LMN
Share your broken condom scares here

30mg adderall IR a few hours before
Drank probably 3/4 bottle of DeLeon
Killed a ball of white between myself and the stripper
2mg xanax to take the edge off
Who knows how much pot
25mg (I think) viagra to avoid coke dick

Fucking this chick non stop...brain is in another dimension...mind wandering (probably from the drugs)...impossible to cum and who knows how long it's been so I keep pounding on her harder and harder. Finally after for fucking ever I cum. Figure I might as well bust in her since I'm wearing a condom.

Pull out...there isn't even a speck of latex on my dick. as if there was no condom ever.

Both stripper and I look at each other with "oh shit" on our faces.

Total silence. She breaks it with "I'm clean. I get tested."

Christ, 5am on a Wednesday morning I'm taking this chick in my black sports car to walgreens to get Plan B. I'm wearing a suit...she's wearing booty shorts, high heels and an undersized sports jersey over her DD tits.

She doesn't want to get out of the car "because of how she's dressed". As I'm stuck behind some retard at walgreens at the 24 hour pharmacy, my mind tweaking out, room spinning, I start to imagine how easy it would be for her to steal my Merc SL550 (keyless entry and she was already in the car when I left her).

Fucking panicking until finally I get the plan b. Felt like an hour wait. I stumble outside. Thank god my car is still there. I give the chick the plan b and watch her swallow it in front of me.

We get back, I give her the $900 and an oz of weed. At this point it's like 6am and I have to be at work at 9am. I spend the next 3 hours doing blow until I walk into the office.

Didn't get much done that day.

The next day she texts me her pussy is bleeding and she thinks she should go to the doctor.

14 comments

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avatar for LMN
LMN
11 years ago
FYI I live in the HIV infection capital of the US.

I always thought I'd die drunk driving or from a drug OD. AIDS is so not glamorous
avatar for carl95
carl95
11 years ago
HIV hasn't been so bad for Magic. You'd probably need to kick the drugs to stay healthy though.

Then again, if you get HIV that doesn't rule out the OD.
avatar for jester214
jester214
11 years ago
Now namedrop your phone conversation with Warren Buffett.
avatar for Caprisun69
Caprisun69
11 years ago
Turn down for what?!?!?!! 💥🔥💥🔥💥🔥💥🔥
avatar for ime
ime
11 years ago
wow he must be really partying if he was time traveling into the future since we haven't hit 5am on a Wednesday yet.
avatar for Caprisun69
Caprisun69
11 years ago
^^^😂😂😂😭😭😭 but then again...isn't it 5 am Wednesday somewhere?
avatar for zipman68
zipman68
11 years ago
^^^
On the Klingon homeworld it is a good day to die!
avatar for GoVikings
GoVikings
11 years ago
I don't know much about drugs, but how can you function at work with doings drugs as heavily and constantly as you do?

avatar for Caprisun69
Caprisun69
11 years ago
Lmn is another shel Silverstein...a great fictional writer
avatar for jester214
jester214
11 years ago
Dude must work on Wall Street during the 80's to walk into work after doing coke for 3 hours and no one notice/care. That would explain the time travel.
avatar for zipman68
zipman68
11 years ago
@GoVikings, it is totally plausible that LMN functions pretty well at work. After all, the only drugs he can actually afford is some stems that have been cut with cilantro and his primary work responsibility is not putting his hand in the hot oil used to make the curly fries.
avatar for Caprisun69
Caprisun69
11 years ago
Only once the drugs are done, I feel like dying
avatar for BigTuna1
BigTuna1
11 years ago
LMN is the KFC store Manager lmfao
avatar for LMN
LMN
11 years ago
This happened a little while ago. If I could time travel, id probably not use whatever cheap ass brand of condom she gave me.

As to the comment how I show up at work and function: adderall.
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